


Confused Emotions

by Icestar74



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anger, Biting, Blood, Cooking, Cutting, Cutting kink, Depression, Dreaming, Emotional Manipulation, Falling In Love, Fighting, Food Kink, Inappropriate touching, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Massaging, Masterbation, Oral Sex, Possible salmonella, Relizations, Rough Sex, Sex, Shower Sex, Showers, Slice of life moments, Smoking, Spaghetti, Violent Sex, Warm Bodies, Yaoi, cursing, domestic abuse, medical nonsense, tasting skin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-24 03:50:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 74,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13802802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icestar74/pseuds/Icestar74
Summary: Shizuo is working a job that goes terribly wrong terribly fast. The next thing he knows his worst enemy is stuck in his apartment and things get messy.





	1. Peaceful night interruption

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfiction so be gentle! I will post when I finish more but be warned i'm really slow.

It was around three in the morning. In the city of Ikebukero the streets are empty in the small neighborhood with the exception of a strange man. He was taller with unusually blond hair. Despite it being dark outside he wore sunglasses, hiding a frustrated honey brown gaze. He wore a white dress shirt with a black vest over it. Black slacks and shoes as if he was on his way to work. Most people walking by might think he was a bartender the way he looked. He may have dressed the part but this man was not on his way to work. No, this man, with his hands in his pockets and a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth was on a mission. The man laid out before you is Shizuo Heiwajima.

Shizuo was doing his normal thing. However he never really stayed out this late. It was peaceful at this time of night. There were no people in his way, no horns honking from traffic and no one to look his way in terror. He thinks he should come out more often at this time. Seems a good time to feel normal. Maybe he should take more leisure strolls like this. 

Unfortunately he wasn't just taking a stroll around tonight. He was walking around Ikebukero trying to find his target and make them pay. Literally make them pay the money they owe. Shizuo is a debt collector. A damn good one at that. Normally he would have his boss Tom, who is also one of his few friends, along side of him. Shizuo normally did the dirty work while Tom did the talking. Tonight Shizuo wanted to do this on his own. This guy had been dubbed too dangerous for normal people.

Shizuo smirks at this "Who the hell is more dangerous than me?" 

His target is known for slipping around in the night. They call him the Ground Hog. He doesn't know much about him except that he is into some shady shit and owes a fuck ton of money to some guy named Shiki. Shizuo doesn't ask too many questions about his targets. It's not really any of his business. All he cares about is finding them and doing his job. He needs the money….

You see, Shizuo is a monster of the sorts. He has incredible strength that goes beyond human limits. He can rip up street signs straight from the concrete as if he was pulling a tooth pick from a sandwich. He can throw cars several yards but he mostly throws vending machines. All this destruction adds up and is hard on his wallet. Even knowing this Shizuo can't help himself. He has almost no control over his own rage. Once it starts there really isn't any stopping it. 

Suddenly a smell hits his face. It the smell of sweat mixed with deception. Yeah deception has a smell and it's fucking weird. Like something you know is filthy but clean at the same time. He will never mistake this smell in a million years.

"Why tonight!? This is the first time I've really gone out like this." he grumbles to himself.

He bites hard on the cigarette between his lips. Shizuo never gets a break it seems. He glances around but can't see the source of the scent. He looks over to his right and sees a nice empty alley. With any luck he might be able to hide and continue his hunt after a few minutes. 

Now the smell is getting stronger. 

"Izzzaaaayyaaaaa" Shizuo growls. 

Izaya is an information broker. He is sly and sneaky. Getting into peoples head and twisting their minds like they are is own toys. He loves to stir up trouble and sit back watching it all unfold. This guy definitely has a god complex. Always running around saying nonsense like "I love humans!" as if he himself is so far above them. The fights between him and Shizuo are the most famous in Ikebukero. In fact those are the times when Shizuo really loses his fight against his rage.

Izaya always riles him up and then begs for a chase. Shizuo rarely catches him though. No matter how many vending machines he throws or street lamps he swings, Izaya is fast and agile like a damn cat. It really pisses him off. No matter how many times Shizuo chases him out of the city he always comes back. Like a damn FLEA.

"Fuck!" 

He runs down the alley ducking behind a dumpster in an attempt to hide. Not that he is afraid of Izaya but he just really doesn’t want to deal with him. Just for this one night the Flea can get away scot free. He butts out his cigarette on the side of the dumpster leaving a line of ash in it's wake. He waves the smoke away hoping the flea won't notice.

"Maybe he won't notice me and I can get on with my night" he thinks.

The smell is getting stronger still and now he can hear the almost silent foot steps of the owner. They are quick and stealthy just like always. Shizuo has heard them so many times he can pick up the sound anywhere. He can tell they are heading down his street closing in on the alley. At the speed they are going they have to pass right on by. There's no way he could have spotted Shizuo. They don't change their speed as they close in on the ally. Shizuo holds his breath feeling a bit of relief but then the sound comes to a halt. 

SHIT! 

Silence…..

The silence stretches for several minutes. Shizuo is kneeling down with one hand on the dumpster. He is breathing slow trying to be as quiet as possible. He is unsure of how long he has been here. The smell of the dumpster is starting to become nauseating. Surely Izaya had to have left. The flea can't go that long with out saying something. He loves to hear himself talk. 

"Well I guess I'm in the clear. Stupid flea trying to ruin my nice night." he mutters. 

He rises up to his feet and slowly steps out of his hiding place. After pausing to brush his hands off on his pant legs he finally glances up. He growls in rage.

"Dammit I should have known better! Why the Fuck are you here!?"

Izaya is leaning against the wall at the entrance to the alley. He is wearing his black jacket with fur trimmed on all edges and in all black as usual. His blade is out and to his lip. He has one foot on the wall behind him and a terrible smile on his face. 

"Oh Shizu-chan, fancy meeting you here. I was just doing some business and needed to take a small break. It gets so tiresome running around this city all day." Each word was so carefree it pisses Shizuo off. 

Shizuo clenches his teeth. "You sure you want to do this. I'm kind of in a hurry and don't feel like fucking around." Shizuo says. 

Izayas smile drops and there's a glint in his eye. Before Shizuo can blink Izaya darts and has him shoved against the dumpster with the knife to his throat.

"I don't know why a monster like you thought he could even hide." he sneers and digs the knife into his skin. "It really disappoints me that you think you can cast me aside so easily." He looks into Shizuos eyes and can see the pool of rage beginning to engulf them. "Ah there he is, the beast!" He chuckles obnoxiously.

Suddenly Shizuo feels his rage boil over and he quickly grasps Izayas wrist, squeezing tightly until he hears Izaya gasp in pain.   
"I told you I am in a damn hurry Flea!" He starts to squeeze and bend Izayas hand back. "I swear I'll break your damn hand!"

Izaya drops the knife and looks angrily into Shizuos face. His rusted eyes boar into the monsters own.

"Look here monster! I dropped my knife, now let go of my wrist please!" He shouts in Shizuos face. Shizuo lets go and shoves Izaya backwards. Izaya falls on his rear and glares up "What the hell Shizu-chan! Why are you in such a terrible mood! I mean it's not like you're ever in a good one." 

Shizuo runs his hand through his hair "Because, like I told you before I am on a fucking job." he growls back.

Izaya looks angrily from the ground at Shizuo. "You stupid Protozan! You didn't mention a job just that you were in a hurry!"

Izaya is clearly heated up at this point and Shizuo is a bit amused for some reason. He grins and hold up his hands in apology. "So sorry to disappoint you Flea but I really have to get going. The beast doesn’t rest you know." He sneers down at Izaya and tries to hide is amusement at how stupid the flea looks on the ground. He starts to casually walk past him.

Izaya is not having it. He looks up with those rusted devil eyes and his fists clench in irritation. There is now way in hell that he is going to let this monster treat him like trash blown in from the street. No, that wont do.

"Oh Shizu-chan, why do you think monsters like you need to work? Don't you know what a zoo it?"

Shizuo stops and looks back. "Oi… What the fuck was that shitty attempt at a jab? You look ridiculous on the ground like that so your words fall a little flat ya know." he grins.

Izaya looks up at him with disbelief. That "jab" should have sent him flying down that alley. He feels like a child that was just denied a piece of candy from the drug store. His looks of disbelief now turning it a devilish grin. "Now now. This wont do. The beast of Ikebukero is going soft it seems. Best be careful or I might spread the word. Put a bigger target on your back. You know the things I am capable of no?"

Shizuo sighs "What ever". He walks over to stand above the informant. He puts his hands in his pockets. "Look, I promise once I am done I will sniff you out and beat the shit out of you. Right now I have to get this done. I have to catch this guy by dawn or its my ass on the line." 

Izaya crosses his arms, looks up and then glares off to his left. "I don't know why you think you have to sniff me out like a fucking dog knowing full well I can always find you myself."

Shizuo reaches down and pats Izayas head. He leans his face close to the informants ear and with a slight growl he says "Sure thing Flea. I love the idea of murdering you."

Izaya jolts back almost falling over and stares up at Shizuo. There's a look of pure disgust on his face. "You could at least help me up before you take off! Geezus! You really are a monster. Leaving a guy on the ground like this." Izaya shouts.

Shizuo growls under his breath "If it will make you shut up so I can get on with my night." Shizuo is starting to get annoyed now. He reaches a hand to help Izaya up. 

Izaya begins to brush his jacket off "I guess there is a decent human side to you after all Shizu-chan."

Shizuo narrows his eyes "Oh I am going to make sure to kick the shit out of you later on."

Izayas eyes glint and he sneers "If you can actually catch me that is."

Shizuo is already walking out of the alley, hand in his pockets so he can ball up his fists without letting Izaya see the little bit of rage he started to spark. He tilts his head back and to the side to give a final shout "Oi Flea! Don't follow me either!" He then disappears out in the street.

Izaya is left in the alley starring after his monster. His eyes glint in the street lights. He whispers to himself "Oh now, that sounds interesting. Why oh why would I NOT follow you?" 

He quickly collects his knife that had been left on the ground and scales up a fire escape so that he can begin his chase on the roof tops. The cold metal biting his palms making him wince a little. He gracefully leaps up and hales himself over the edge of the roof. Monsters typically don't look up. Why would they need to when they were big enough to squash cities. 

"Well Shizu-chan, this is quite a change of pace. Usually you would be the one chasing me." he thinks as he starts to run.

He begins running from rooftop to rooftop with his coat flowing behind him almost like a cape. The hood on his back gently bouncing up and down. He gets about six buildings over when he hears a loud crash coming from a few streets ahead. He lets a vicious smile cross his lips.

"My my, wonder what trouble you could be in already…" 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shizuo had walked away lighting up a new cigarette to ease his nerves after the encounter. The little bit of information he had led to this area. This section of the city is where most people had come to do business with the Ground Hog. There was a loud crash in one of the alleys ahead. He quickened his pace to investigate. 

"I know I heard something over here." he thinks. 

He begins to enter the alley. It's completely empty with the exceptions of a few trashcans here and there. One of them is knocked over and he sees a cat bolt out of it. 

"Oh just damn cat." he growls. 

He starts to turn around and stops when he hears an even stranger sound. It's a scuffling sound, but not of a small animal. No this is something much larger. He walks over to a small stoup leading to a back door. He butts his cigarette on the concrete wall of the alley. The sounds is coming from the other side of the door. It's almost like someone is trying to get out. 

"The sounds are getting desperate. Is this someone's home? Maybe I should just open the door…?" he ponders.

He reaches his hand to his head to scratch it while scowling. He wanted to know what the noise was but he didn't want to be breaking and entering. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izaya can hear the scuffling sound from the roof top. It definitely sounds like someone is trying frantically to escape. He stares down watching hungrily to see what is behind that door. Shizuo scratches his head in confusion.

"Look at the dumb Beast! Can't you figure out how to open a door?" He laughs out loud and covers his mouth. "Can't let the beast see me quite yet."

He hops on the ledge of the roof and sits down letting his legs dangle over. He pulls out his phone. He begins to take a few photos of his confused beast. "Hahah! This is the best!" he sticks out his tongue in delight and he takes more photos. "What is he doing now?" He sees shizuo grasping the door knob trying to open it. "Oh you idiot! Don't do that! Use some tools so it doesn’t look like a damn break in!" He snaps his phone shut loudly and continues to watch. If Shizuo trips an alarm he wants to see it with his own eyes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shizuo decides to open the door. What's the worst that can happen? The cops show up? He would just be honest and say he thought someone needed help. He reaches out and grasps the door knob. It's locked. Sighing he quickly looks to his left and right. Not a soul in sight. He looks back at the door to grasp the metal knob and as quietly as inhumanly possible he breaks it off. There a snap from somewhere above him but he isn't worried about it because the sound he was investigating stops and he freezes.

He cracks the door open a little bit. "Hello…? I'm not here to hurt anyone. It just sounded like someone was stuck and needed help" Shizuo calls out softly. He is greeted back with an eerie silence. He pulls open the door, very slowly, the rest of the way. At first he sees nothing but then he looks down and is left struck with shock. He eyes grow wide with horror  
.  
"What the f-f-fuck!?" he stammers and begins to back away from the door.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izaya is staring wide eyes at the sight that is unfolding before his eyes. Shizuo looks horrified and is stepping away from the door. At first he starts to stumble and then he falls backwards into the wall across from the door. Izaya is having a hard time seeing but suddenly a light turns on in the room where the door is and Shizuo is lit up with a yellow glow. He has fallen against the far wall on the ground with his mouth open and glasses hanging crookedly on his face. 

A man steps out and to Izayas surprise he kicks a woman out the door and down the small steps. She is in a long green dress and rolls down the steps like a rag doll. 

"Well this is interesting." he whispers in the wind. 

Peeling his eyes off the woman he looks back at Shizuo who is still on the ground against the wall. Izayas eyes grow wide with shock.   
"What!? Why does he look scared!? Who does this man think he is making the monster show such fear?" He think angrily.  
Izaya can feel his skin begin to boil with the thought that someone can make Shizuo feel and hold that kind of expression this way and it not be him.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shizuo is starring up at the man. His blood had run cold at the sight. Thinking back to a few moments ago, playing it in his head a few times over. He opened the door and seen the woman lying by the threshold. Blood was oozing from her neck where it had been slashed. It wasn't the fact that this was a dead body he was seeing that horrified him. It was the possibility that moments before he opened the door this woman was alive! If he had been just a little quicker maybe she wouldn’t be dead. 

She was wearing a pale green dress that was now gritty and sticky with blood. She had long red hair that was tangles up all over the side of her face. Her eyes were starring wild and her mouth was hung open and crooked. She looked familiar and Shizuo gasped. He knew her face! He thought on it for just a moment and hit him. He was taken back to this morning.

"In other news a young woman was abducted from her home her in Ikebukuri. Her name was Sarah Callihan. She had just moved to Tokyo last month to start a new life with her husband. Here is Shangi Ario with his statement" A tall professional woman appears handing a younger man a microphone. His eyes are blood shot. "I was at work and when I came home the door was broken open and the place was a wreck. Sarah….Sarah was gone." The man burst into tears and Shizuo shut off the TV. 

The man cleared his throat and shook Shizuo from his thoughts immediately. He was a round man wearing a red shirt with the cuffs rolled up. His slacks were dark grey and had a bit of blood on them. He was wiping his hands together as if he just touched something truly disgusting. 

"Well, that was a fucking waste!" the man grunted. He stepped over the dead body as if she were a mat. "Dumb bitch broke free of the cuffs and was trying to escape. It took us a whole month of watching to get the right opportunity to snatch her!" he yelled. He looked back at the woman and kicked her in the head making a horrible crack sound that echoed off the walls. "I don't know how you got that door opened but I couldn't really let her squawk ya know.?" He makes his way over to Shizuo and puts his hands on his round hips. "Well, now what to do with you?' he said standing over Shizuo.

Shizuo glanced at him slowly recovering from his shock. "What to do with me?" He whispered. 

The man rolled his eye with impatience. Seemed that the golden haired man below him was just in a daze. The man pulled out a gun and aimed it right at Shizuos face.   
"Wait!" Shizuo stammered, "Who are you first?" he looked right into the mans cold eyes. "You could at least tell me that."

The man smiled at his question and said matter of factly "I'm the ground hog, the man running the traffic ring around here. Not that it matters to you since you're a dead man anyway." He begins to laugh.

Suddenly Shizuo shoots up and head-butts the man right under his chin. His glasses flying to the ground shattering into small fragments. The mans teeth click together sending a ring through the alley. He starts to fall backwards.

"You son of a bitch!" Shizuo screams.

He grabs the man by the neck before he falls down and knees him in the gut. The man drops the gun and Shizuo grasps his neck rotaing around to slam him up into the wall he was previously sitting against.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izaya is delighted to see Shizuo fighting back. For just a moment he thought his monster was going to be killed. He didn't think Shizuo could survive a gun shot to the face. He claps his hands together. "Now this is a show! The beast is taking down a crime lord! Oh this information is definitely going to be worth a fortune!" He begins to laugh in delight when a gun goes off and he jolts his gaze back down in the alley, his breath catching in his throat at the sight beneath him.

Shizuo has the man by the neck and up against the wall. The man gasping, feet dangling inches from the ground. "People keep calling me a monster, but you, you're the real monster!" he screams in the mans face. The man is clawing at Shizuos hand trying to break free. His nails tearing up Shizuos knuckles at the effort. Shizuo doesn't even notice. All he can see is the color red. "You killing this innocent girl for no reason!" He slams the mans head into the wall and he spits out some blood. The blood runs down Shizuos wrist and he squeezes tighter. 

The man begins to gurgle out some words. "Wh-wh-whok arg you." 

Shizuo curls his lip "I'm just a fucking debt collector here to just collect a debt, not that it matters to you anyways."   
Shizuo rears back a fist ready to smash it into the mans face when a gun shot stops him mid punch. He was so caught up in the fight and rage he didn't notice four men pour from the room behind him surrounding him. Two men on each side each were pointing shotguns at him and bracing themselves to fire.

The men didn't look too tough at all. They were a bit scrawny but the weapons in their hands were enough to make Shizuo drop the man on the ground leaving his spitting up blood and gasping for air. Shizuo held his hands up and turned began to turn around. 

"Look here, I am just a debt coll.." He began but was cut of at the pump of one of the guns. One of the men walked behind Shizuo and slammed the gun into the back of his knees. 

"Get on the fucking ground" the man growled. 

Shizuo fell to his knees, his hands still in the air. The other three men gathered closer and were readying their guns to fire. 

There was really nothing Shizuo could do. He could try to take them out but with the guns so close and ready to fire he knew it wouldn't end well. He has survived a lot up until this point. Hit but trucks, thrown from buildings, shit once even the flea set him on fire! He was shot a while back ago but it was just a pistol and in his side. Not four fucking shot guns at close range. This was it and he knew it. The monster of Ikiburkeru finally being laid to rest. He smiled at those final thoughts. One last thought jumping in his mind and a fur trimmed coat invaded his final thoughts. "At least I am not dying by the Fleas hands…" he whispers. 

Shizuo closed his eyes ready to take the final blow.


	2. Clean Stitches

There was a loud crash and a few guns went off. "What the fuck!?" was heard right before the gun fire. The sounds of metal slicing in the air and cloth ripping apart. A few grunts rang out. Shizuo thought he heard a familiar "Ugh!" and then something thick, hot and wet hit him in the face. He could fell wind hitting him in different directions as objects were swinging. There was a loud thunk sound, the ground vibrated under him as heavy things fell around him. And then all was quiet. 

Shizuo sat there for a moment in the silence just waiting for something else but there was nothing. He slowly opened his eyes and let his mouth fall open. The four men were lying on the ground around him. Clothes sliced apart and blood soaking up the ground beneath them. It was a sight that would forever haunt him. However it was not the dead men that Shizuo was really seeing. Draped over one of the men was a familiar, unmoving fur trimmed coat. 

"Fuck! Flea!" he shouted. He quickly crawled over to the still informant and rolled him over on his back. He felt all the blood drain from his face at the discovery that the Flea himself was covered in blood. He couldn't tell if it was the Fleas blood or blood belonging to the enemy but his clothes were shredded. 

"Shit wake up!" Shizuo screamed frantically. 

He gripped Izayas shirt collar lifting him up a bit. He then began to gently slap Izayas face and when there is no result he slapped a little rougher. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!" Shizuo starts to panic. He holds Izaya up higher, the informants head falling limply backwards. He places his ear to Izayas chest ignoring the blood that soaks through into his own hair. Please, please don't be dead He holds his breath and is washed over with relief at the faint but steady heart beat beating in his ear.  
"Thank god. You fucking idiot. I told you not to follow me!" he yelled in anger. 

He holds Izaya close and hears a bubbling laughter behind him. 

"He-he-hey, you think you c-c-c-can just ig-g-nor me?" The Ground Hog was sitting against the wall. He looked terrified but determined not to let his enemy know it. He wipes his sleeve against his mouth to clear some of the blood. "Ahem" he clears his throat wincing from the pain left by Shizuos grasp earlier. "You are a fucking dead man. Don't you know who I am? The people I know!?" He seems to be gaining some confidence as he speaks. His voice is ringing through the alley and getting louder. Shizuo curls his lip in a snarl and begins crawling over to him. The Groundhog keeps screaming at him, not at all phased by Shizuos look. "I will make your life is a living hell! I will make sure everyone you love suff…" 

He is cut off as Shizuo punches him in the face.

"Shut the fuck up. My life is already a living hell!" screams Shizuo. He stands up roaring at the unconscious man. His fists balled up tight by his hips. "It doesn’t matter what I do, everyone one I love or care about always gets hurt!" He kicks the man knocking him over and keeps kicking him in the ribs. The Groundhog starts coughing and curls up in a ball. "What do you think you can do to make it any worse huh?!" He continues kicking and loses himself to a blind rage never even noticing when the man below stops moving. "I can't even see my own brother when I want to because I'm some kind of freak! The only friends I have walk on egg shells around me like I'm some kind of ticking time bomb!" He breath is coming faster as the rage just keeping building. "The one fucking person I never worry about and can actually be myself around is probably dead because of you!" 

Suddenly his phone starts buzzing and he comes back to his senses. He blinks a few times and pulls the device from his vest pocket. Tom is calling. "Hello?" He says gruffly. 

"Hey I haven't heard from you in a while. Did you find the target?" Tom cheerfully asks.

Shizuo looks at the broken mess under him. "Oh good he is still breathing. They didn't say he had to be in good condition" he thinks. "Yeah, he got a bit beat up but he is breathing…for now." Shizuo says. 

Tom gasps "Where are you!" 

Shizuo looks up trying to remember the name of the street he is off. "I'm in an alley between Charmon and Fleck. Get over here and get this piece of shit. By the way did you know he was a human trafficker?" 

Toms goes silent. "Are you serious? Well fuck. Shiki never mentioned that but it makes sense why he wanted you to go after him." Tom says.

"What do you mean?" his head cocking to the side.

Tom laughs "Well think about it. They hate that kind of shit. Sure they aren't good people but that fucked up shit is not something they would let slide around here. They probably thought you would just kill him."

Shizuo growls back "Are you fucking serious!? They were using me!?"

Tom sighs "Calm down. You didn't kill him and think about it this way. You took care of that sicko. He isn't a problem anymore. You're like a vigilante of the night!" There is a long pause as if Tom was waiting for Shizuo to say something. "Don't worry I'll take care of the trash."

Shizuo looks around and realizes he forgot about Izaya! "Fine Tom. You come take care of this piece of shit. I have things to take care of so I'm leaving him to you." he says. Before Tom can say anything he clicks his phone shut, placing it back in his vest pocket. 

"Oi Flea….Ok…shit." Shizuo curses. He pull back out and opens his phone dialing Shinras number. It goes straight to voicemail and a very excited Shinra begins speaking.

"HEYO! If you are trying to reach me soooooooory boutcha! Me and the ever so B-E-A-Utiful Celty are away on vacation. Don't worry we will be back in a week! Leave a message or something but don't expect me to respond soon. I might be literally tied up OW! Celty don't hit me it was a joke….maybe…" The phone beeps and Shizuo closes the phone before a message can be recorded. He sighs, letting out a few curses, and looks back at Izayas unmoving body. 

"Well…. Sorry about this….but I have to take care of you myself…." he says out loud.

He kneels down and quickly cradles him in his arms like a baby. "Well this is really awkward…" he says with a half hearted smile. "You're like a fucking baby. Good thing your so small." Izayas head flops back over his arm and continues flopping around as they walk. "Hang in there you stupid flea." Looking down he notices blood dripping from his side. "Shit I need to put pressure on that or something" he says glancing at the informants dangling head. "Probably shouldn’t let your head dangle like that either…".

He stops to readjust. "Ok lets try this." he mumbles. He squats down and puts Izayas bottom on his lap. The takes his arms and lays them on either side of his neck and flops his head on his shoulder. He then places one arm under Izaya and slowly rises using the other arm to press him into his chest. He chuckles out loud "What the fuck is this. Now I look like I'm carrying a child that passed out on me." 

It's really strange when there is no snotty remark from the usually noisy informant. Shizuo can't ever recall a time where Izaya wasn't talking. The silence chills him to the bone. Izayas arms are dangling down his back smacking against him with every step. He can feel Izayas breath on his neck and for some reason it brings him a bit of comfort. All while making the hair on his neck rise "At least this way I know you are still breathing" he whispers. 

Shizuo finally gets to his apartment building. He glances around making sure they weren't followed.  
"Good thing it took me all night to find the Groundhog I guess. Not many people are out at this time." Shizuo says approvingly. He looks up at his building and lets out a long sigh. He lives on the third floor and recalling the broken elevator he sighs again with slow shake of his head. He grasps the buildings main entry door handle with the hand under Izaya and jerks it open. He quickly rotates so that he can use his rear end to hold it open and slowly back inside.

His building isn't much to look at. Cracks in the walls and ugly 80's styled furniture litters the lobby. The lights are flickering a bit like something from a horror movie. Sometimes there is an attendant at the front desk sleeping his night away but tonight, luckily, there was no one there. Shizuo glances down at the side of Izayas face and lets a crooked smile take over his features. "Welcome to motel hell" he chuckles out. A sadness worms it way into his heart when the informant doesn't even stir. His crooked smile slowly falling.

He heads straight for the stairs next to the elevator. They are solid concrete with a white rusted railing. It's a bit rough trying to carry Izaya while trying to catch his footing. A few times he thought he was going to fall backwards but instead he crashed into the side of the wall. The railing scraping his side and white paint chips embedded themselves into his vest. Finally he makes it to his floor and is standing infront of his apartment.

"I can't believe I'm about to take the shittiest person in Ikebukero into my home." He grumbles. He presses himself and Izaya into his door to steady the informant while keeping the pressure on. The blood, now chilled from the night, feels horrible against his chest. He tries to fumble in his pocket with one hand for his keys while balancing Izaya with the other. He finally manages to fish out his keys. Inserting them into the lock he turns it and slowly opens the door. A small grunt of panic escapes his mouth when he half falls in the apartment. The door bangs against the wall inside, his keys ringing loudly as they shake in the lock. He is still against the door with Izaya attached to his front.  
"Shit, that was loud." he says. He slides his hand against the door and onto Izayas back. He presses Izaya against him and backs away from the door. He turns his head slightly to study the informants face. "You must really be out cold to not wake up from that one…" he says.

Shizuo manages to flick a light switch and looks around. Shizuos apartment is nothing fancy. He knew if the Flea was awake there would be a lot of jabs at the lack of furniture or lack of character the place has. It has a small bathroom, one bedroom and a kitchen with a bar. There are two janky barstools at the bar. The living room isn't too homey. It just has the essentials. TV, couch, bookshelf and coffee table. The couch is small and leather with and end table at the side. He has a book shelf against the wall behind it littered with old books. The TV sits on a rolling rack across from the couch. No this isn't a great place by any means but will all the money Shizuo has to put back into the city from his mass destruction it's perfect. Besides, no one would ever expect him to live in this dump so he never has to worry about surprise visitors. Not even the Flea has ever been here, that he knows of.

He hobbles over to the couch and using his foot pushes the coffee tablet out of the way. He gently lays the informant down letting him sink into the couch. He stands back and examines him. "Ok I don't see any blood leaking anymore. I don't think… and don't get it on the leather couch!" He says. "I know it's nothing fancy but it was gift from Kasuka." 

Kasuka was Shizuos brother. He was a big time actor and because of Shizuos reputation they don't get to see each other very often. He is sure Kasuka wouldn't care about the bad publicity but Shizuo doesn't want to burden his brother with it. This never stops Kasuka from sending him gifts from time to time. In fact that's where all of his nicer things came from, including the clothes on his back. 

He runs his hands through his own hair and grimaces at the hard chucky feeling against his hand. There's a lot of dried blood in his hair but he doesn't have time to worry about it. Izaya coughs harshly letting a little blood sputter out and trail down the side of his mouth and cheek  
"SHIT!" Shizuo shouts. "I think I need to elevate your head or something. That's always one of the first things Shinra does for me!" he looks around. "Wait right here!" he shouts and dashes out of the room.

Shizuo runs to his bedroom down the hall to grab a pillow. He has a mountain of pillows on his mattress. He doesn't pay any attention to which pillow he has and just snatched one up. He runs back to shove it under Izayas head. He steps back to look and realizes that Izaya is really fucked up. His shirt is torn up in various places. The blood may have stopped soaking through but there was so much of it. Shizuo couldn't really tell where exactly he was hurt.

"Ok Flea. You're going to be ok…" he whispers, but it sounds like he is only trying to convince himself. 

He goes back and shuts the front door locking it behind him. He leans back against the door starring at the mess on his couch. Trying to slow his thoughts down he clenches his fists and shuts his eyes. "Fuck what do I do! I always go to Shinra with this kinda crap…." he says to himself. He starts hitting his head against the door trying to think. He begins running a few of the injuries that Shinra helped him treat through his head. He remembers that Shinra gave him a first aid kit. One made just for him with all kinds of fixer up supplies that most people wouldn't need. 

He pushes himself off the door and goes to the bathroom to get all the first aid supplies from under the sink. He has gauze pads galore, tape, peroxide, alcohol and of course an array of bandages. He brings it all back and scatters it on the coffee table. He then goes back to get a few towels. Next he goes to the closet at the end of the hall and digs out Shinras first aid kit. He brings that and starts to unpack it on the table. He pulls out various surgical pliers, heavy duty staples and the stapler they go with and few different sized scalpels. He also has an entire sewing kit just for those hard to close wounds. 

He places his hand on the informants forehead. "Well please don't wake up quite yet. I have to find out where you are bleeding from and take care of it." he says softly. "I'll do my best. I mean I've seen Shinra doctor me a thousand times so how hard can it be?" he laughs half heartedly. There is no response from the informant and it makes him feel uneasy. " I never thought I'd miss your voice Izaya…" he whispers. He rolls up his sleeves and clears his throat gaining a bit of confidence.

He gently lifts Izaya up a bit and slides one arm from his coat. Then he leans over him and begins to slide out the other arm. Once they are both free he leaves the coat under him. No point in trying to drag it out. Izayas arm dangles off the couch like dead weight making Shizuo shudder. He gently lifts it up back to the couch. He glances up at Izayas face to make sure he is still passed out. He takes a deep breath and starts to undo Izayas pants. The informant always dresses sharp and keeps his shirt tucked in. Once the buckle and the clasps are free he wiggles his finger under them to grasp the shirt. 

"Why the fuck do you always have to tuck in your shirt" he snaps. His fingers brush his pubic area and it feels like sandpaper. His face instantly glows red and he hurriedly grips the shirt and starts to tug it free. 

It's not easy to get the shirt off since Izaya is on his back so he leans over at a better angle to reach under and pull up from the sides and back. His fingers grazing Izayas skin as he starts to work it up. "Shit you're so damn cold" he grunts. The shirt is so torn up he contemplates on just ripping it off. He gets the shirt up to his chest and gasps. There is still a lot of blood and now he can tell that a lot of it belongs to Izaya. On his lower right side, facing the edge of the couch, there's a gaping wound where it looks like a small bomb went off. Shizuo starts to panic. 

"Shit! This is worse than I thought." he says desperately. He looks back at the informants face. "I am going to fix you. I don't need you dying here especially not for me." he says with severe determination. 

Focusing back on the task at hand he decides to just rip the shirt the rest of the way. It's to torn up to reuse anyway. He tosses it off to the corner of the room with a wet thud. Turning is attention back he feels his stomach do a complete summer sault. There is something embedded in upper left side of Izayas chest. The foreign object is small and sliver. He reaches down to touch it and slices open his finger on it. "What the fuck!?" he shouts. He puts his finger in his mouth instantly tasting his own blood. It looks like a blade had managed to break off here. It was thin like box cutter blade. He grimaces at the thought that one of those thugs dared try to use something so cheap on the Flea. 

Sighing he reaches over and grabs the peroxide and a towel. "Ok Flea, this is going to be uncomfortable. I have to clear the blood away so that I can see what we are dealing with." he tells the informant. He sits down on his knees and pops open the bottle pouring it over the wound in Izayas side. It merges with the blood and starts to bubble and fizz. The foam turns from pink to red, running down his side. Shizuo dabs it away before it gets to the couch. A thick goopy trail following the towel. He does this a few times until he can see exactly how Izaya is hurt. 

When the blood is all clear he can see the wound much better. I looks like four holes clustered together. Almost like something took a bite out of his side. This has to be from the shot gun. There are a lot of burn marks from the blast. The skin bubbled up in areas around the holes like broiled cheese. There really isn't any blood leaking out now, but some ugly red foam is seeping out of the wound. "Maybe caring him against my chest helped pressurize the would. Thank god I switched positions" he thought to himself. 

He looks back up at Izaya, he hadn't checked his face in a bit and now it was twisted with pain. He wipes away the foam and tilts Izaya over a bit to examine his back. There are no wounds on here and Shizuos face drops. He gently rest Izaya back over and sees his face is still scrunched up. 

"Sorry Flea. It's only going to get worse from here. Really I should be enjoying putting you through some of this right?" he smiles crookedly. Deep down he knows he doesn't mean it. He just wants to lighten his own mood. He hates the idea that Izaya could die tonight all because he was trying to help him. 

Shizuo had done this a few times and even had Shinra teach him a few tricks. He knew that he was about to put Izaya through some intense pain. He stood up and grasped his belt buckle. Undoing it and sliding it out of the loops he takes it over to Izaya. He gently pries his mouth open and inserts the belt. He went back to the wound in Izayas side and grabbed a pair of long surgical pliers and a small flashlight. He gets back on his knees and gets to work. 

He sticks the flashlight in his mouth shinning it into the gaping wounds. He could tell there were small pellets embedded deep in them. "Thish is gonna shuck" he spoke around the flash light. "Ish a good hing you onwy got hit in the side like thish though". The wound looked as if it only grazed the informant. As if he tried to dodge it but was a little too late. Shizuo wiped sweat from his own brow. With a heavy sigh he placed one hand on Izaya and used the other to begin digging and pulling out the pellets. 

At first Izaya began to groan in pain but as Shizuo dug deeper he began to scream around the belt in his mouth. Pain flashed behind his eye lids white hot. He felt like he was being electrocuted and his teeth gripped the belt so hard it was as if his jaws would explode from the pressure. His waist tried to jerk up as Shizuo gripped and began to pull out the first pellet but Shizuo had him held still with his other hand. And then his body was calm again. The white light behind his eyes dying down to a calm orange. He had sweat dripping from his face, spit foaming out his mouth and fingers slowly releasing the couch beneath him. 

Shizuo took the flash light from him mouth and placed his hand on Izayas head "I'm sorry I don't have any pain meds. There are still at least three more I gotta get out of you…." Shizuo spoke gently. 

Izaya was breathing heavy and his eyes suddenly shot open. Shizuos eyes grew wide in astonishment. He stood leaning over the informant searching his gaze for any sign that he was really there. Izayas eyes were darting wildly around the room and stopping only when they locked onto Shizuos gaze. He blinked slowly and his gaze swirled with confusion laced with a hint of fear. His eye lids started drooping and he passed back out. Shizuo stayed there a moment watching his eyes in case they opened again. Grief shook his heart when they didn't and he let Izayas eyes burn into his memory. He got back on his knees to continue the job. As he looked at the wounds he was overtaken by sheer determination. He would see those rusted eyes again, full of life and hungry for trouble. 

Shizuo put the flash light back in his mouth and started on the next one. The squelching sound as he was digging in deep into the informants flesh was making him want to vomit now. He had done similar extractions from his own body no problem but this was another person. Even if it was just the Flea it made him sick. Blood squirted out and started to run onto the couch, some ran down his arm. He didn’t care at that point anymore. When he had started on his second one Izaya didn't start with the groan but went right to screaming around the belt. That sound on top of the digging was enough to keep him distracted from anything else. He finally got the second pellet out and dropped it onto the floor with a THUNK. 

"Two more Flea." whispered Shizuo. 

He went in for the third, blood squirted him in the face. Izayas hips tried to swing up in pain but Shizuo had a good grip and kept him down. "Shhhh Shhhh eashy Flea." he whispered as he pulled out the third. He took out the flash light and peered up. "Ok last one…but this one looks pretty deep." he said. He popped back in the flashlight and felt his forehead crease with frustration. He apologized in advance "Shorry…" 

He digs in deep feeling his knuckles against Izayas side. Izaya begins to scream louder, clenching tighter, griping the couch till his nails pierce the leather. Shizuo manages to grip the pellet and starts to pull it out. It doesn't seem to want to exit as smoothly as the others. Shizuo presses down on Izaya and tugs harder, twisting his hand and feeling it loosen. It starts to slide out but he has to use a lot of force. When he pulls it free blood spits out behind it and smacks him in the face getting in his mouth this time. It turns the light from the flashlight pink. He spits it out on the floor and it rolls under the couch. "Shit! Disgusting!" he shouts. He whips him mouth off glaring at the wound.

Shizuo cleans out the wounds again letting them foam and wiping it away. He stands up and smiles at his accomplishment. He takes the belt from Izayas mouth. A long trial of saliva tinted with blood follows. Shizuo wipes it off Izayas face before he goes back to the wound. The wound looks much better, less angry, and it's ready to close up. He gets back on his knees and starts to sew him up. He threads the needle and shoves it as gently as he can into the informants skin. Izaya must be passed out from the pain of removing the pellets because he didn't stir while Shizuo sewed him up. 

It's not tough entering it into the flesh. He uses one hand to pinch and the other to work the needle. Most people would need to use surgical pliers but not him. No Shizuo has a lot more strength in his hands so this is like shoving a needle into a warm stick of butter. He has to keep pausing however to wipe away blood that wells up around his hands. In and out, in and out, in and out. He works the needle in and out until the wound is closed. He pours more liquid on it to clear away the excess blood. Pulling the thread up he leans over and bites it off with his teeth. He spits off to the side and ties up the loose end. 

Realizing what he had just done he scrunches his face up and growls "Damn it, I'm used to doing this to myself. I never needed scissors to cut it." He wipes his mouth off with his upper arm angrily. He turns around to grab the scissors off the table and slams them in the floor next to him. Sighing he sits back a bit to admire his handy work. With a crooked smile "Not half bad huh Flea? You know when ever you wake up you really do owe me. Fuck the fact you saved my life. This stitch job is too damn beautiful!" he chuckles. "The fact that a "monster" like me can do such delicate work is really going to blow your mind I'm sure." 

Time to start the next one.

Shizuo rethreads his needle. He begins to sew up this one the same way as the last one. He cuts off the thread, this time with the scissors and ties it off. He continues this routine on the other two holes in the informants side. Once all of the holes are finally sewed up he cleans off the area again. He grabs some gauze pads off his table and some ointment. He spreads some ointment over the area. He rips open the pads and places them carefully over the freshly stitched areas to protect them. He takes some tape and gently tapes them down. Once he is finished he stands up to look at the informant.

The wound looks great, like really great. There's a warm feeling welling in his chest at the sight. "Damn I'm fucking amazing!" his throws his head back in wild laughter. "To think that I, ME SHIZUO HEIWAJIMA, just took care of IZAYA! God no one would believe it!" he looks back at Izaya to shout some banter in his face but that warm feeling in his chest is quickly washed over with a cold chill. Izayas head had fallen to the side and blood was oozing from his mouth, slowly dripping to the floor. His breathing has gotten rough and wheezy. A small cough escapes from his lips. When he tries to breath in it’s an awful sucking sound as if the air is struggling to get in his lungs.

"FUCK!" Shizuo shouts. He grabs Izayas head and gently places it back on the pillow. Izaya begins to gasp for air. Shizuo panics until he sees the blade in his chest. "Dammit! I forgot about that!" he shouts. "I must have moved it when I was trying to hold you down!" He looks around wildly trying to think about what to do. If that blade had punctured his lung it must have dislodged and caused it to collapse. He knows he has to act quick or this will be the end of the Flea. He had something similar happen to him once. He tries to think about what Shinra had done for him but it was a fuzzy memory full of Shinras lame jokes and constant insults.

"DAMMIT!" he screams.

He grabs the pliers and grips the end of the blade poking out. He can feel how flimsy it is when the pliers grip it. The metal slightly bending from the force. He slowly, steadily pulls on the blade. It begins to slide out and tiny red bubbles begin to form around the base. He can't stop to clean them off as they begin to slide down onto the back of the couch. He doesn't care, Izaya keeps struggling for air and Shizuo thinks he is never going to get to the bottom of the blade. It seems never ending as he slowly drags it out. Finally he gets it free and more blood bubbles spew out after it. He quickly grabs some gauze and presses it to the wound left behind. He tapes it down and feels his own breath catch as he realizes Izaya isn't breathing.

Tears fight their way into his eyes but he blinks them away. He quickly grabs Shinras bag dumping the remaining contents on the table. He scatters them everything around until he finds a needle with an orange cap. "Fuck fuck FUCK I think this is it!" he screams in a panic.  
The tears are coming back as he shoves the needle into Izayas chest two inches below his left nipple. "Don't you dare die on me you son of bitch!" he continues screaming threats at the informant. "I'll fucking kill you!" 

Once the needle is all the way in he screws off the cap letting a rush of air explode from the end. He places is head next to Izayas face desperately waiting and praying that his breath will stir. Tears have officially made their way in. They start splashing on Izayas face, running down and dripping to the floor mixing with the blood. It's all silent except for the air rushing from the needle and Shizuos sobbing. Suddenly Izayas gasps and Shizuo would swear he had never heard a more beautiful sound in his entire existence. 

"You stupid Flea" he sobs. 

Shizuo crumbles to the floor, catching his breath. He wipes his eyes which are now stinging. He takes his time, only getting back up after he himself has calmed down. He stares at Izayas chest to makes sure it keeps moving. He notices that Izayas color is going back to normal. In his panic he had failed to see the ugly cool gray his skin had begun to turn. Now it's going back to the pale shade it has always been. He doesn't want to take his eyes away from his chest in fear it will stop again. 

With a final sniff he reaches into his vest pocket and grabs his cigarettes. He lights one up and takes a puff. He moans with annoyance when he sees that Izayas right outer thigh was soaked with blood. "Son of a bitch…I just can’t catch a break with you." he huffs. He takes one more puff and butts in out in the tray on the end table.

Shizuo is back on his knees at Izayas waist just starring at the blood soaking through the informants pants. The area is shredded but he can't seem to tell exactly what he is dealing with. It seems to be coagulating but with the amount of blood here it must be a really nasty wound. There is only one thing left to do before he can really get to work. 

"Dammit Flea! What the hell? At least it's all on the same side" he says. He looks at Izaya and he isn't stirring. "You better not fucking wake up yet!"

He angrily stands up and walks to the end of the couch and begins to remove Izayas shoes. They seem to be simple dress shoes.  
"How the hell do you run around in these things like you do?" he says with amazement. He lifts the informants left leg first and slides off the smooth black shoe. He places it on the floor by the end of the couch. He gently rolls off the black sock next and tucks it into the shoe.  
With a tired smile he scoffs. "All black. Should I really be surprised? Do you even own anything else?" He frowns glancing down at his out bloodied attire "Well am I really one to talk?" He begins to lift up the informants right leg and does the same thing. First the shoe and then the sock.

He starts to tug on the end of the pants to get them off but they seem stuck. The blood coagulating has made a glue like substance that is holding the pants in place. He was really hoping this part would be easy. He walks over to the informants waist, leans over and grabs the pants from each side slowly working them off. It's and awkward task. If Izaya were to wake up at this point what would he think? That the monster was taking advantage of him? Shizuo makes an ugly face at that thought. 

"Like the fuck I would even!" he growls, aware once more that he was taking off Izayas pants… "Fuck!" he growls again trying to work faster.

He gets to where the blood is and the pants stick. It's like peeling off a wet sheet. As he pulls past the bloodied area the blood goops with the pants like a thick syrup. He can see the wound and it's quite ugly. He was definitely slashed open here. He works a little slower so that he doesn't aggravate the wound too much. Ripping it open further would just mean more work for him. At least there was no blade stuck here. Just a clean slice.

He finally manages to work the pants off leaving the informant in just his boxer briefs. Shizuo feels his face grow hot at the sight. The informants underwear are of course black. Izaya may be all fucked up but with his glowing pale white skin he is really pretty. His underwear just stands out so much against it. "Why is he so pretty for a man? It's like he is made out of marble or…" he thinks to himself.  
Shizuo places his fingers to his chin in deep thought. He snaps his fingers and shouts "NO! Porcelain! You're like a porcelain doll!" He nods with satisfaction. He realizes he let his thoughts escape from his lips and clears his throat in embarrassment. 

He gets on his knees by the informants thigh. He cleans out the wound with the peroxide letting the bubbles form, fizz, and turn pink with the blood. He wipes it away repeating the process a few times until he can see clearly. This wound is a nasty gash. As if someone stabbed and torn down his thigh with the blade. Shizuo grabs his needle and thread to prepare it for another stitch job. Once the needle is threaded he uses one hand to squeeze the wound closed. Blood oozes around his fingers but he manages to get a decent grip. He thrusts the needled into the thicker flesh of the informants side. Once he pulls up blood trails along the thread sliding back down it’s length. He has to stop and wipe blood away too keep it from being to slick.

He works the needled in and out in the same pattern as the side wound. This wound is bigger and wider so it takes a lot more concentration. He can work the needle with ease but he has to keep readjusting himself to keep the wound closed. The wound is wider so he has to pull the thread harder to close the gap. sweat beginning to drip from his forehead at the amount of force he has to use with the needle here. It's not as easy as the side wounds here because he has to use more force but be careful not to over do it. He glances at Izaya and still nothing. He finishes as quick as he can but he had to keep stopping to clean the blood away. 

Once it's cleaned off for the final time he stares at the closed gash grinning from ear to ear. "Well this one might be even more impressive than those ones I put in your side!" he gleams. He crosses his legs and arms, still smiling, to sit and admire his work. Being a deemed a monster all his life, it just feels so good to know that he can do something so gentle like this. He twists around to collect the gauze, ointment and tape. He gently places gauze over the wound following it with the tape to keep it in place. Once finished he unfolds his legs to stand up.

"Right, before I decide to get comfy I need to make sure I ain't missing anything." he says. "I don't want any more surprises outta you."

He walks over to the informants head. He reaching out his hands to run his fingers through the informants crow black hair. Despite the blood all over him there seems to be no wounds here. Then his fingers graze a whelp just above his ear. "What the fuck were you even hit with?" he exclaims. He glances at his face and his eyes grow wide with shock at how close he is to his to it. He can feel Izayas breath hitting his cheek. It ravages his senses smelling oddly sweet. Shizuo seems frozen in place. He watches Izayas eyes noticing those long black eye lashes and the way his cheek bones define themselves perfectly beneath the skin. Swallowing away his nerves he stares for a moment longer.

He isn't sure what broke the spell that was Izayas face but he manages to drag his eyes away. He walks over to the informants chest letting his eyes wander over the chest and abdomen. Izaya is so scrawny and his collar bones stick out in such a wonderful way. His eyes work their way down slowly. Letting his eyes travel down his chest and abdomen. His eyes stop on the needle in his chest. He shudders. He lets his gaze continue it's journey.

Izaya is actually kind of fit. "Must be all the running around he does" Shizuo thinks to himself. He bites his bottom lip and looks back at Izayas face. He scowls at the somewhat peaceful way the informant is now sleeping. "Tch… Don't you get the wrong fucking idea here. I'm not impressed." he growls. "I'm only looking you over for injuries since you decided to almost die on my damn couch… which you are paying for since you felt the need to stain it up!" He smiles with satisfaction thinking about getting a new couch out of this whole ordeal. Couches were pricey.

He lets his eyes travel back and across the informants crotch. He quickly skims over it and down the thighs. There is no way Shizuo is going to star at this man's package. Besides he is sure there is nothing worth looking at. His lips make a crooked smile. "I bet your so small. That would match your ego" he thinks. He lets his gaze continue down past the bandaged wound, down his legs, and he realizes that his legs are shaven. The only reasons Shizuo can come up with is because Izaya is a neat freak? Or perhaps he thinks it makes him moves faster when does all his stupid parkour tricks. Yeah that has to be it. 

His eyes see nothing else. Shizuo for the first time all night feels his shoulders sag with relief that this is finally over. Maybe he can finally go and get a shower that he really needs. He runs his fingers through his hair growling at the now hard chunked blood in it. Bits chip off and fall to the floor. He glances at his own body shaking his head angrily and the blood all over his clothes. He's pretty sure his shirt is ruined, the vest might be savable but he is no expert on laundry. He sighs knowing the answer is probably no and he has lost yet another one of his precious vests. 

He peers back at Izaya. This man is so pale the blood all over him sticks out horribly. Shizuo chuckles softly "When you get better you really need to go to a tanning bed." He has never really paid much attention to Izayas skin. He was too busy chasing him around and trying to beat the shit out of him. No, he never really got too close and the times he did he was already in a blind rage and every thing was red. Izaya actually had very beautiful skin. Thinking back to he stitching job he realized that his skin was also very soft. Too many times tonight he had noticed how fragile this flea really was. 

Shizuo shakes his head hard, harder until his thoughts are clear again and he decides that he should try to at least clean up Izaya. This way if he does wake up he won't panic at all the blood. Would he really panic anyway?

The image of those confused and fearful eyes flash in his mind again. They were the eyes of someone he had never known so perhaps there were times when the flea did panic. What other emotions did he feel? Sadness, gratitude, maybe even loneliness…? So many emotions that a normal human could wear and he had never seen them on Izaya. Shizuo ponders for a moment wondering if he even knew the flea at all. 

The man that was moments ago dying on his couch was not Orihara Izaya that he had always known. This man before him was vulnerable and he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. Looking at the crusted blood that had dried on Izayas skin, looking at the way his eye lids twitched with pain and again remember the fear in said eyes. No this wasn't right. This was not his flea. This pathetic excuse on his couch was an imposter. This thoughts threated to drown him. He could feel the floor shift for just a moment before he decided to try and do something about it. 

He goes to the kitchen and grabs a mixing bowl from one of the upper cabinets. He turns on the sink to let the water warm up. He gets a clean town and a wash cloth from a drawer next to the sink. Once the water is warm, not too hot, he fills up the mixing bowl. Turning off the faucet he collects the bowl from the sink. He places the wash cloth in and drapes the towel over his shoulder. He carries his makeshift bath and sets it on the coffee table, dragging it closer so he has reach it easier.

"Oi flea, you look like shit" he weakly smirks. "I can't really give you a bath…don't really care too…so this will have to do for now."

He rings out the wash cloth and begins with the informants hair. With his left hand he runs his hair through it. "Why is your hair still so soft even with all the blood in it." he murmurs. A bit baffled he feels his own hair and recoils at the touch. "Seriously what the hell kind of shampoo do you use!?" he grumbles out loud.

Still confused he starts cleaning the informants hair trying to move on. and stoops down besides the informants head. He take the damp wash cloth and scrubs it over Izayas hair. He does this a few times, rinses out the cloth and going back to do more. Once his is satisfied he has gotten most of the blood out he grabs the towel from his shoulder and rubs the informants hair dry. He runs his fingers through the crow black hair once again. Sighing to himself at how feathery it has become from the rinse.

Shizuo takes the water back to the kitchen to change it out. Dumping it in the sink he watches the pink water swirl around the drain. He hopes it doesn't somehow stain the sink. That would just be one more thing to add to Izayas bill. He smirks at the thought. After he changes the water he goes back to the informant and moves on to the face.

The dried blood here has morphed into little spikes on Izayas face. There is still blood dried on the side of his mouth from his earlier fit. Shizuo tries his best not to be too rough while gently, as gently as he can manage, scrubbing it off. He wipes the sweat and crusted blood from his forehead and cleans off more blood from his cheek. He rinses the cloth and comes back for his mouth. He gently wipes off his mouth noticing that his lip is actually busted a bit. He must have been punched or hit with something else. 

He sets the cloth in the bowl for a moment and just stares at the clean face he has just revealed. He's not sure if cleaning off Izayas face made him look more or less like the stupid flea. Izayas lips are parted ever so slightly. He looks so innocent like this. Not like the devious devil Shizuo knows he is. He reaches a hand out and brushes his first and middle finger over Izayas lips. Izayas breath gently puffs out warm air onto them. He can feel his own heart soften along with his eyes as he gazes at him.

"Even your lips are soft…" he whispers. His eyes grow wide and then he quickly moves his hand back. "Fuck. Did I just say that out loud?!" he thinks with horror.

He tries to pretend that little moment of his own weakness didn't just happen. The water in the bowl looks good to keep using for now so he moves down and begins to wash off Izayas torso. He cleans of the neck and runs the cloth over his collar bones. Shizuo bites his lower lip as he feels the delicate bones beneath his hands. He doesn’t make it very far. He glances at Izayas face for a moment, not noticing his own heart beating a little harder. His own face gets warmer. He puts the cloth down again and places his hand on Izayas chest, careful not to disturb the wound and needle. He runs his hand slowly up to his neck and shoulder area brushing the collar bone. He glances at Izaya again and leans forward never taking his eyes from Izayas face incase those rusted eyes show themselves once again. He slowly parts his lips, air slipping though hot, and bites gently onto the collar bone. 

It feels as if an electricity shoots though his chest. His heart stops dead for a single moment. For a single moment he forgets just who this man on his couch is altogether. He forgets how much he hates him. All the bad shit that has ever been done to him by this man melting away. All he knows, as his teeth gently lay against flesh, is that this body in his mouth tastes fucking amazing. It's sweet, smooth, creamy and cool on his tongue. He glides his tongue slowly across the ridge letting his teeth sink in a little deeper. His hand, still on Izayas chest, curls into a fist the other gripping the couch. He lets out a low groan and opens his eyes quickly at the sound. He didn't even realize they were closed in his second moment of weakness.

He let's go with a hushed PWAAAA and stands up straight. Placing his hand on the back of his own head he takes a moment. Confused and dazed by his own actions he runs his fingers over his own lips. He can see the spot where he bit the fucking flea! HE JUST BIT IZAYA! He can see his own saliva on him, not from spitting on that trash but from actually licking him… He runs to the kitchen to change the water again hoping to calm himself down.

"What the fuck are you doing Heiwajima!?" he growls as he refills the bowl. 

Coming back to finish the job he moves to the informants stomach this time. Running the cloth from his abdomen to his waist line. Taking great care not to disturb his handy work on the gunshot wound. He slowly runs the cloth across the lining of his boxer briefs. He rinses and goes back for more. He runs it across his belly stopping just short of the bandages. He can feel the lean muscle beneath the flesh here. Curious, he puts the cloth down a runs his fingers across the ridges of his abs. 

"You seem so scrawny I can't believe you even have anything here" He says quietly. He runs his finger down to the boxer lining and stops. He jerks his hands away and curses at himself "Get yourself together Shizuo! This is Izaya, the fucking Flea that you HATE!" Something in his stomach dances. With this third moment he can feel his own member press against his slacks. Growling he grabs the bowl and goes straight to Izayas legs. 

There isn't a lot of blood here either mostly just on the thigh that was stabbed. He washes around his thigh where the wound is, again careful to avoid the bandages. He runs the cloth slowly down the inside of Izayas thigh and to his ankle. Once he is satisfied with the cleaning here he does the other leg. His own breath starting to come out harsh and shaky. He has never been this close to Izaya and it feels strange not getting ready to defend or offend. The whole thing is slowing turning him upside down. 

He puts the cloth down for the final time glad to be done cleaning but pissed off at his own emotions. He sits down and curls his knees into his chest, folding his arms over them, he rests his head on top. He peeks up at Izayas sleeping face over his wall made from his arms. "Why do I want to touch you so bad right now?" he whispers. Confusion swimming in his thoughts, threatening to drown him once again.

He stares at the informant on his couch. Watching his chest fall and rise he cocks his head to the side, laying it on his arms. "You know I could just kill you right now. I wouldn't have to deal with chasing you and cleaning up the messes you send my way." He raises his head up glaring, starting to feel his blood become heated. "I can't do it though… I know I am supposed to hate you but I don't. "You are the only one that sees me as a monster but accepts me. Who else would do that if you were gone? You don't fucking treat me like a damn time bomb! I don't have to hide myself when you are around… You know that though don't you…?" 

He stands up and places his hands on either side of Izayas face on the arm of the couch and hoovers over him "You know your are the only one I don't worry about hurting flea? Every time you show your dumb face I feel all of my walls crash down and just let go." He places one hand on the other mans face. "You might hate my guts but fuck…. Deep…deep down I don't hate you at all. How can I hate someone who allows me to be ME?" 

With his voice raw with emotion he cracks out "If you had died tonight… part of me would have gone with you." He places his forehead on Izayas forehead and closes his eyes. Feeling his chest, which had tightened during his little rant, loosen. "A lot of shit might happen when you are around but I deal with it."

Sitting like that until he calms down he lifts up smacking his own face. "Alright!" he says out loud, raising back up. "I really need to shower and get the hell away from you". 

He stands up and goes to pick up the bowl but pauses. Izaya is still passed out, how many chances will he have like this? Fingers on the rim he looks over at Izaya. He releases the bowl and stands over the informant. He feels a little awkward but he really wants to know. He looks at Izayas face one last time and reaches down. Sure this feels wrong but the flea will never find out.

He whispers just loud enough to be heard by anyone close by "I just want to see if you are all that you think you are." He smiles crookedly "Surely you're not. Surely I can use this over you later. You would do the same thing if it were me I'm sure. Fuck you'd probably take photos." He places his hand first gently on Izayas thigh. 

He slowly runs his hand up and over the black fabric of his underwear and his hand stops dead in its tracks.

He can feel Izayas member and it is not what he was expecting. "What the hell…" Shizuo growls. He applies a bit of pressure and feels Izaya begin to stiffen just a bit. "Shit…you weren’t even up yet and it's that much." Shizuo looks at Izayas face and growls again "There is no way." He removes his hand and hooks a finger under the waist line. He gently lifts up, leans his head down almost resting it on Izayas stomach and peeks under. Izaya is completely shaven and his cock is way bigger than he was prepared for. Taking a gulp he reaches his other hand in and grasps it. His fourth weakness tonight. 

He squeezes gently scowling as his own cock pressing against his slacks again. His thumb strokes up while he spreads his fingers apart. His other hand flexes against Izayas inner thigh. It's when he hear Izaya moan that he shoots his hand back snapping the waist line against the informants waist. He looks wide eyed at the informant. Relief washes over him when he sees that he is still passed out. Guilt and shame replace it when he sees that Izaya has a look of discomfort on his face.

Shizuo grabs the water bowl quickly and goes to the kitchen. He sets in the sink and goes back to Izaya. He grabs a blanket and tosses it over the informant." I can't fucking look at you anymore!" he yells. Growls. He tucks in the blanket against the back of the couch and let the rest drape over. He makes sure Izaya is comfortable with his pillow under his head. "Don't get up Flea" He growls. He walks into the bathroom casting a final look at the covered man on his couch and closes the door behind him.

The bathroom is small. It's a dirty yellow color with a white shower curtain. There's a laundry basket against the wall so the door can't even open all the way. It's overflowing so he makes a mental note to take care of it. There's a small blue trash can by the toilet with a plastic grocery bag for a liner. There is a stack of towels on the back to the toilet but other than that it's a pathetic bathroom. He is sure the flea would be unimpressed with his lack of toiletries.

He walks over to the sink and places his hands on the edge starring at himself in the mirror. His hair is crusted with blood and its dried to his face in similar spikes like on Izaya. His eyes look dull, his arms are crusted with more blood and he knows for sure that his shirt is ruined. He pulls out his cigarettes and phone from the vest pockets placing them on the edge of the sink. He undoes his tie tossing it to the laundry basket. He then unbuttons his vest and shrugs it off. Looking it over with a sad expression he throws it in the wastebasket. He does the same with his white dress shirt. Blood with white? Not even gonna try to save this one. He looks at himself in the mirror again.

"You look like a mess" he says to himself adding "You feel like one too…".

He turns the shower on and sits on the toilet to removes his shoes and socks. He didn't even realize he was still wearing them. He slides off his shoes and tosses them in the corner. Rolling his socks down and off they get tossed in a laundry basket against the wall. "What the hell is wrong with me. My worst enemy is passed out on my couch in just his underwear and I'm taking a shower…" He sighs and stands up.

He undoes his pants, using his feet he holds down the bottom and works them off with his underwear. He steps out of them and rolls his eyes at the erection below. He is used to rage boners. Being the beast of Ikebukero he gets them quite often. This doesn't feel like a rage boner, those he knew how to take care of. Growling he shuffles to the shower ripping back the curtain. He leans over to start the water relaxing at the hiss from the shower head. He climbs in letting the water rinse pink streaks down his body.

Facing away from the water he lets the water warm up before he reaches for the shampoo. Leaning his head back into the spray he uses one hand to rinse out some of the blood. He can feel it slide down his back in small bits like thick sludge and he shudders. He squirts the shampoo into his hand and rubs both hands together. He starts massaging it into his hair and lets his mind wonder a bit with the suds. Why was he here in the mess. Scrubbing blood from his hair and caring for Izaya. It all happened so fast….

He rotates, placing one arm against the wall, bowing his head against the torrent rinsing the suds from his hair starring down watching the pink foam rotate at the drain. "Geez I really hope this doesn't stain…" he mutters. He notices that some of the chunky bits had started to clog up the drain. Using his toes he breaks it apart letting the water escape. It feels disgusting.

Turning back around he grabs a bar of soap and runs it in circles over his chest. He massages it over his shoulders and the back of his neck. He runs it up and down each arm in turn making sure to get every bit. Once his upper half is clean he leans over and runs it from his thigh to his ankle and back up. His forearm brushing against his erection." Damn thing just wont go away." he grumbles.

He rotates to face the spray and uses the soap on his face. Letting the spray rinse his face it begins pounding images of Izaya behind his eyes and he jolts back! He reaches for the shower curtain. Slipping and falling in the tube he crashes back into the wall dragging everything with him on the way to the shower floor.

"FUCKING DAMMIT!" he shouts.

"Son of a bitch! Get the fuck out of my head you damn FLEA!" He screams while laying in the tub. Panting he rubs water from his eyes. The water is starting to get everywhere ricocheting off the fallen curtain. He reaches out a toe and flips the water to start from the spout. He moves his toe down and stops the drain. The tub begins to fill up and he shoves the curtain out and over to the floor. Growling at the wet thud it sounds out. It's going to be a mess to clean up. Resting his arms on the sides of the tub he leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes. He can still only see Izaya. 

The peaceful way he was sleeping. The vulnerability the informant had shown him without his knowledge. The purity of it was mind blowing. How can someone so demonic looks so sweet in their sleep? The rusted eyes flash in his mind and he begins to think about pale lips and milky white skin. Those fucking collar bones, that soft feather hair, that sand paper pubic area……. 

He shoots his eyes open at the sudden lapping of water at his waist. He uses his toe to turn off the water when he notices his cock sticking straight out of the water. Why was his erection still a thing?! Groaning with frustration he reaches out grasped it.

"Why am I still so hard….fuck!" he growled. 

At first he gently began to stroke it but when the images of Izayas cock flood his mind he gets more aggressive. Seething in his own private rage fest he strokes faster and faster. Using his thumb to rub over the head and his other hand stroking his thigh. Throwing his head back and biting his lower lip he starts to moan loudly. Imagining that smooth sweet skin on his tongue. He clenches his thigh. Sweat starting to drip from his face while the pumping grows more intense. 

"SHIT I'm gonna cum!"

Faster and faster and faster until his stomach is seizing. Faster and faster and his whole body is flooded with utter bliss! "Oh fuckin shit dammit flea!" he shouts.

Laying in the tub panting and looking at the mess he created he let out a long sigh. He holds up his soiled hand, rotating to look at the mess. "Well there's that. I guess I really am a monster…" he sighs letting his head fall back against the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll try to post once a week. Just remember after reading this I am no medical expert and it's fiction. Someone mentioned a lack of tags on the first chapter so I'll go fix that. I hope you enjoy! Also, the collar bone scene was my favorite scene in the whole story so far!


	3. Begin the Spray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya has jumped in to save Shizuo but at what cost? Shizuo has done his best to doctor him up but is it enough?

Shizuo rises up in the tub pulling the drain to let the water out. He flips on the shower to rinse himself off real quick. Once the remains of himself are cleaned away he shuts the water off and gets out. Grabbing a towel from the back of the toilet he rubs it through his hair. He dries himself off real good so he wont drip water around the apartment. Wrapping the towel around his waist he slowly cracks the door open. 

He can see the short rise and fall of Izayas breathing on the couch between the informant feet that are still on the arm. Shaking his head angrily he marches to the bedroom. He doesn’t even bother to close the door behind him. He drops his towel , walks over to the dresser and pulls out some boxers and sweat pants. After sliding both on he grabs up a tee shirt and wiggles into it. Grabbing a cigarette and his lighter from the dresser he plops on the edge of the bed and lights up. Taking a long, much needed, drag then blowing it out with a sigh.

"How did things get so fucked up" he ponders out loud. Watching the smoke dance away before it disappears into the room. He realizes how tired he is from the heaviness threatening to shut his eyes. He falls back on the bed still smoking the cigarette. Suddenly he hears a loud moaning from the other room followed by a crash. He sits up so fast the cigarette falls out onto his lap. "Shit!" he yells trying to pat it out. He leaps off the bed and runs into the living room. 

He can't see Izaya on the couch. Glancing at the door he sees it's still locked. He can hear rustling by the couch. The items on the coffee table have been knocked into the floor. He slowly walks over to the couch. Feeling as if his breathing is five times louder than normal and his heart beating in his ears. Each step carefully placed as to not make any sudden sounds. As he gets closer he glimpses that crow black hair moving by the couch.   
�Izaya is in the floor, the blanket pooled around him. He looks pathetic. He moans trying to reach for the table to get up but he seems to weak to move. He must be still out of it. Shizuo quickly gets down on his knees infront of him placing his hands gently on the informants shoulders. Izaya slowly looks up with a pained confused expression. Shizuo tries to get his attention.

"Hey hey hey, don't try to move around so much. You'll screw up all the work I did stupid flea." he calmly states.

Suddenly the informants vision clears a bit. The confusion swimming away from his eyes. Shizuo sucks in a breath at the anger that is now starring at him. His nostrils flare and he can see his jaw tighten. Izaya reaches up, placing a hand on Shizuos chest, he curls the shirt into the ball of his fist pulling hard enough that Shizuo fall over a bit. Their eyes are inches apart and through clenched teeth Izaya spits poison.

"OK? Am I not in the belly of the beast? I wake up in nothing but my underwear on YOUR COUCH! How can you say I am O fucking K when you brought me HERE? What the FUCK did you do to me?!"

Shizuo is frozen in place at these words not really sure how to respond.

He shoves Shizuo back. "Don't you fucking touch me you freak Protozan! Where the hell are my clothes!?" He reaches for his jacket on the couch half falling with it as he pulls it down. "It's fucking ruined!" He glares at Shizuo again. "You were not worth this jacket." 

"Are you serious flea!?" Shizuo feels his blood boil. "After all I fucking did for you?! Are you even going to let me try to explain what happened?!"

Izayas eyes snap back up from his jacket. "All you did for ME? You do realize I am in this mess because of some stupid beast who got into trouble!"

Shizuo punches the couch causing it to slam into the book case knocking a few things off. "You're really starting to piss me off." he growls.

Izaya rolls his eyes. 'Oh big surprise there. Not only did you help fuck me up but now you're going to tear up your own place? You really are an idiot!" Izaya yells.

Shizuo crawled over to the informant and he shoved him backwards onto the floor with a heavy thud. Izaya winces as his head smacks into the floor. Luckily the blanket was there to cushion the blow a bit. Taking no notice of the pain Izaya might have coursing though his body Shizuo pins him down. He has his hands on either side of the informants head and his knees by his waist. He hovered over him with their faces so close he can feel Izayas crackling breaths on his face. He leans down and whispers into his ear.

"I should have just let you die."

He pulls back and stares into Izayas eyes expecting to see more hate but Izaya curls his lip and sneers. "Well Shizu-chan…Why didn't you? Instead of letting me die or simply finishing me off you stripped me naked? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Shizuo felt his whole face grow hot. "I told you I can explain!"

"Actually Shizu-chan. From this position here one might think you were trying to finish me off in another way."

Shizuo pushes off the floor and sits back. He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. Izaya sits up laughing. Shizuo looks up with a snarl.   
"Shut the fuck up flea." 

Izaya sits up wincing from the pain in his side and thigh. Izaya looks around slowly, his breathing crackling in his chest. There was no longer pain on his face but instead something strange. As if he forgot where he was. He looks at his hands and clenches them in his lap. His legs sprawled out he starts to slump forward.

"Oi flea?"

Izaya looks back at him confused. "Sorry Shizuo, I think…I don't know." He looks around again and with a disgusted face he says "Shizu-chan. Why have you brought me to this trashy place?" When he notices Shizuos brow furrow he adds "I might get some diseases here."

"You're fucking ass hole!" Shizuo growls. He stands up and reaches a hand to the informant. Izaya looks at the hand with suspicion.  
"Idiot flea. Did you not notice the patch up I did to you? To hell if I am going to make all my effort go to waste by injuring you again."  
Izaya reaches out a hand cautiously and lets Shizuo pull him up. Shizuo glances at the couch indicating he wants Izaya to sit.

"How do the stitches feel?" he says while looking towards the kitchen. "You better not have ripped them."

Izaya lowers himself back on the couch and looks down at his side and thigh. Then he notices the needle in his chest. He looks up at Shizuo with a look of disgust. "What the hell is this! Why is there a needle in my chest!?" He reaches for it and Shizuo grabs his wrist.

"Don't." he whispers moving Izayas hand away from it. Izaya must have noticed the fear in voice because he didn't say anything else. Bending down now to grab the blanket off the floor Izaya is eyeing him, waiting for an explanation. Shizuo hands him the blanket and sits down next to him. Izaya wraps it around himself wincing as he twists. 

"Ok flea. So…". Looking into Izayas eyes it feels as if they are burning through him awaiting an answer. Shizuo has to look away. "One of those shit bags from the attack stabbed you with what I think was a box cutter." he hears Izaya almost choke from disgust but he continues "It was pretty deep. I'm pretty sure it pierced your lung and over time your lung collapsed." he looks back at Izaya whos eyes are now confused again and looking at the needle.

"What are you trying to say Shizu-chan? Spit it out." he calmly says.

Shizuo sighs looking away. "You stopped breathing…. I didn't know what to do so I used that open ended needle to try and get the air out. I didn't even know if it would work or if….if it was too late." His eyes start to sting and his voice was shaking. "I thought you were dead but then you started to breath again." He reached out a shaking finger to point at the needle. "I didn't know what would happen if I took it out so I just left it in there." His fists clench in his lap. "I didn't want it to happen again."

Izaya turned his gaze and just starred at him for a moment before shrugging "Well that explains that. Care to tell me about my undressing?" Shizuo looks at him fast a little shocked. With a crooked smile he continues "I didn't die because somehow you used that little brain of yours to prevent that." He snuggled tighter into the blanket shivering. "But the fact that you undressed me is the worst. Those monster hands of yours on my body. Disgusting!"

"Shit flea I'm sorry but I had to see what I was dealing with." He looked at Izaya and pretended to shudder. "It wasn't great for me either ya know. You felt slimy!" When Izayas looks appalled he grins.

"How dare you says such a lie!" he points his hand at his chest "My skin is flawless!"

Shizuo snorts "Yeah what ever ya say flea." he looks away "There was a lot of blood. I think you were shot in the side and you were cut up pretty bad on your thigh there." When He looked back at Izaya the informant was tugging off the bandage. "Oi! Don’t do that!" he yelled.

Izaya wasn't listened to him, clearly. He had waved a hand in his face to shut him up while he took the bandage off to examine the wound. Shizuo grabbed the hand in his face stilling it and watched as Izaya ran his other hand over the stitches. He was starring at them with pure amazement and then looked back at Shizuo. He smiled big and bright. So bright it took Shizuos breath away.

"Well Shizu-chan I am truly amazed! This stitch job is so incredibly neat. Are you sure that you were the one who did this?" He eyed Shizuo suspiciously. "This is too delicate of a job for a monster to preform right?" He looked at the hand Shizuo held in place and tilted his head. "Oh and do you plan to keep holding my hand all night?"

Shizuo dropped his hand in an instant and looked away. "Sorry to disappoint you but yeah, that IS my handy work."

"Don't be Shizu-chan. One more thing though."

Shizuo looked back at him ready for another shitty remark. "What?"

Izaya smiled with his eyes closed like a cartoon character cocking his head to the side. "Could I possibly get some clothes or do you prefer me here in my underwear?"

"Fucking dick bag." Shizuo grunts. "Hold on I'll find you something." He gets up and goes to his room. "Oi bandage that shit back up!" he calls out from the room. 

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Once Shizuo is out of the room Izayas smile drops. He looks at his side and clenches his teeth in anger. How could he let himself be caught like this? By some stupid low life thugs at that. He traces his hand over the side bandage. Did he really take a bullet….He looks at the bloodied pellets on the ground. Did he really take PELLETS for Shizuo?

Everything hurts everywhere. He runs a hand through his hair wincing as he brushes a large whelp. Where did that come from? Suddenly the rooms spins for a moment and he hunches over feeling like he is going to vomit. A hand to his face he stares at the floor trying to steady his breathing. Black dots threaten to invade his vision. He tries to focus on something.

He looks around the room now with disgust. This place looked like something from a torture movie! The protozan had hardly any furniture. This was ridiculous. He could tell this was Shizu-chans place. There was dents in the walls in various places. He smiles wondering how many were because of him. 

The episode has passed and he felt a little better. He leaned back on the couch letting his mind drift. What all had Shizuo seen? Obviously his entire body but what about his face? He groans. Shizuo probably had seen him at his weakest. To hell if that was ever going to happen again. There was no way he was going to show his sleeping face to him again!

He looked down at his thigh shuddering at the thought that the stupid protozan had to have touched him in various place. He breath catches in his throat. Didn't Shizuo say something about there being "So much blood"? Where did it all go? There were some spots where specks of blood were still on him. He swallows back a bit of anger. Did that monster bathe him!?  
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Shizuo starts to rummage though his dresser trying to find something that might fit the flea. But everything he had was going to be too big. He grabbed a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. Nothing he could do about it. If the flea didn't want to wear it he could just sit in his damn underwear all night for all he cared.

He walks back to the living room pausing by the bathroom door. He blushes when he sees the shower curtain and quickly closes the door.

"What is it Shizu-chan? Hiding something?" Izaya sneers from the couch.

"No I just feel like a bathroom door should stay closed. I don't know… shut up!" He tosses the clothes at Izaya. "Here, sorry it's gonna be a bit big on you but I don't have anything else."

Izaya lifts up the pants and looks appalled "Are you serious? Of course this is going to be too big! You’re a damn giant!"

Shizuo growls "Well you don't have to fucking wear my GIANT clothes! Sit there freezing all night!" He plops on the couch, folding his arms over his chest. He watches with a careful eye as Izaya gets up with the blanket still around him. He huffs with the effort to stand up straight. He can tell he isn't putting a lot of weight on his left side. Izaya looks over his shoulder sneering.

"Are you wanting to watch Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo almost chokes on his own saliva at that. "Fuck no! I was just making sure you didn't need help you idiot!"

Izaya smiles and drops the blanket. Shizuo looks at the ceiling not wanting to see… he can't help it though. With his head still facing up he drops his gaze and watches Izaya struggle with the shirt. He manages gets it on his head but gets lost in it. He smiles holding in a laugh at the way his shirt looks a parachute over the scrawny informant. He stands up and grabs the shirt trying to find Izayas head in it. A crow black head reveals itself at the hole and Izaya pops out with an exasperated breath.

He looks up and shrinks back at Shizuo. It seems he didn't realize he had a little help. He scowls and tries to shove Shizuo back but his arms are still lost in his shirt so he stumbles clumsily into Shizuo instead. Shizuo catches him and with out a word helps him find his arms. Izaya looks pissed but Shizuo is highly amused. 

"You ok there flea?"

Izaya glares at him "YES. I didn't need your stupid help. I am perfectly capable of dressing myself!"

Shizuo holds up his hands in apology "Yes flea. I could see that. Sorry." he grins when Izaya continues to glare before grabbing the sweat pants and sits on the couch and tries to reach over and get them over his legs but the pain in his side wont allow him to bend over far enough. "Oi flea. Just let me help you."

Izaya turns to look at him with pure irritation swimming in his rusty eyes. "FINE! But just so you know! The only reason I am letting you help me is so I can hurry up and hide my body from your prying eyes!"

TCH! Shizuo grits his teeth but doesn't say anything as he crouches infront of Izaya to help get the pants over his feet and up to his thighs. He suddenly feels hands in his hair and he looks up to see Izaya starring at him with an unreadable expression.

"Flea?" 

"I just… thanks protozan." Izaya says grumpily and lets go looking away.

Shizuo stares at him in confusion for a moment before getting the pants up. "Here you can manage the rest. 

"Yeah." Izaya stands to finish. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

Shizuo glances at the closed door. "Ummm yeah go ahead but be careful…. Uh the curtain fell….so it's a little messy."

Izaya smiles "Would I really expect anything else?" He walks over and disappears behind the door leaving Shizuo alone.

Shizuo sits and leans back on the couch folding his arms across his chest. Letting out a long sigh he closes his eyes feeling sleep try to claim him. Right before he is allowed to drift off into sleep he sees those rusted eyes burning into his.

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Izaya closes the bathroom door and locks it. He limps over to the sink and stares at himself in the mirror. "Get yourself together Izaya. This may be the protozans house but you are still in control." Izaya began to feel a tad dizzy again. He reaches up and opens the mirror to snoop. Inside is nothing but a rolled up tube of toothpaste and worn toothbrush. He closes the mirror and looks around. 

The curtain is in shambles in the floor. He smirks imagining Shizuo tearing it down. The dumb beast probably fell in the shower. He notices the over flowing laundry basket and shakes his head. He glances into the waste basket tilting his head in curiosity at the vest in the trash. He reaches in and picks it up. The vest is stiff from dried blood and when he tries to unfold it red chips fall to the floor. "I guess I wasn't the only one to loose a precious garment tonight huh?"

He kicks the shower curtain away to make room by the toilet. He grimaces at the feeling of the wet curtain on his feet. He lifts the toilet lid up, pulls his member out of his pants and begins to relieve himself. He places a hand on the wall and closes his eyes. It felt as if he had been holding that in for ages. 

Once finished he tucks himself back into his pants, flushes the toilet and hobbles over to the door. Unlocking it he slowly opens it and steps back into the living room. He can see from here that the dumb beast is asleep. He slowly closes the door behind him. Limping as quietly as possible he collects his coat from the couch. He digs in the pockets of his coat and pulls out his phone but it’s been smashed. He fishes out his pocket knife flicking the blade out. Glancing at Shizuo he whispers "Now who is porcelain?" 

He stands over Shizuo with the blade out and extended. He places one hand on the back of the couch near Shizuos neck and leans over. He places the blade to Shizuos throat. "It's amazing the things you dream about when you might be dying hm?" Izaya whispers in his ear. Shizuos brows furrow but he doesn't wake up. Izaya slowly moves the blade to his chest. "I can't stand the idea that you seen me so vulnerable. It's only fair I put you in a similar situation right?" His hand begins to shake. "Fuck, hey monster?" Shizuo doesn't stir. "You must be so tired if this isn't waking you." 

He carefully straddles Shizuo on the couch. Gritting his teeth from the pain searing up his side. He grabs his side with his bladed hand taking a deep breath. With another deep sigh he reaches out a hand and runs it through Shizuos hair. "Did you know that you have very soft hair Shizu-chan?" He grips Shizuos hair in his fist and he takes his blade and runs it up Shizuos arm back to his neck and up to his ear. He leans over to whisper in said ear, pulling Shizuo ever so close "You shouldn't let your guard down so easily Shizu-chan."

Leaning back again to smile at the stupid monster before him "Shit!" he shouts. The dizziness sweeps over him. He lets go of Shizuos hair letting him fall back into the couch. He tries to move but the whole living area runs from him. His eyes feel like they are going to roll into his brain. He tries to look at Shizuo, reaching out he feels his fist curl into his shirt. It feels like he can't breath and he starts to panic. "NO!" His body threatens to throw him into the floor. He can hear Shizuo shouting but it sounds so far away. He feels something grip his arm as he starts to fall backwards.

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Shizuo wakes up in a start when his head hits the couch Izaya is straddling and clenching his shirt. "The fuck are you doing!?" he shouts but Izaya is either not listening or just can't hear him. Izaya starts to fall backwards, eyes rolling back and Shizuo quickly reaches out and pulls him by the arm back into him. Pain slices his leg as Izaya drapes over him. He doesn't move. 

"Oi…Flea?" no response. He slowly pushes the informant up wincing. He looks down and sees Izayas blade stuck in his leg. "What the HELL!?" Izaya is nothing but dead weight right now. He looks at the informant, whos head is just dangling forward, and rolls his eyes "And you say I'M an idiot?"

He shifts Izaya over and lays him on the couch. He grips the knife in his legs and yanks it out with a hiss. It wasn't really deep so he wasn't concerned with it. Glancing at Izaya he waited for the rise and fall of his chest before getting up. "You are not getting this back!" he takes the knife into the kitchen and stashes it into the highest shelf in his cupboard. 

Shizuo is so tired. His eyes feel like they are on fire but he can't go to sleep. Not after the flea just pulled that shit. He walks back to the couch, collecting the blanket from the floor, and drapes it over the informant. He gently lifts up Izayas feet and sits on the couch resting them in his lap. Yawning he grabs the remote and flips on the TV. The news is on.

A woman in a salmon pink pantsuit is standing outside a police station. "The man was later Identified as the groundhog. No one know where he came from but when Officer Jaminson came out this morning to go on patrol he tripped over the dead body. Gathering a statement from Jaminson he said he wasn't too upset over this find. They had been after this man for months."

Shizuo turns off the TV and noticed he was rubbing Izayas feet. He used to do this kind of thing for Kasuka when they were younger. It always made him feel so good that he could do something so gentle with his brother. Anytime Kasuka would get sick Shizuo would sit at the edge of the bed or couch and just rub his feet. Kasuka would say things like "Shizuo your hands are so strong and can work out any stress here!" Shizuo smiled fondly at the memory. Half forgetting this wasn't his brother but his arch nemesis. 

He lets his fingers gently squeeze from the heel up to the toes. Working around each toe in turn he then works his fingers back down, now rubbing his thumbs in gentle circles around the ankle. He starts to do the same the to the next foot letting out another massive yawn. Letting his hand work in a lazy motion he closes his eyes.

He doesn't know when but he fell asleep. Wiping drool from the side of his mouth he stretches his hand up above his head. He gets confused when he notices two feet in his lap. Then last night smacked him right in the head. He glances over at the clock on the wall. 11:15am. He looks over at Izaya who is lightly snoring. He feels a smile cross his lips and he laughs. "So the flea can make human sounds too?"

At his voice Izaya stretches with a yawn smacking his lips together afterwards. Smiling he snuggles into the arm of the leather couch wrapping his arms around himself. Shizuo raises his eye brows at the action. Izaya looks like a little kid in his over sized clothes. He smoothers another laugh with his hand incase he wakes up Izaya. He gently lifts his feet up off of him and gets up. Grabbing the blanket that must have fallen to the floor he drapes it back over him.

He goes into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee and make some breakfast. Opening the fridge his mouth twitches. He still hadn't gotten groceries… Does the flea like eggs? Doesn't matter because that's what he is getting. Shizuo grabs the carton of eggs and sets it next to the stove. He grabs a pan from the bottom cabinet and starts cooking. The pot behind him humming and squirting out his liquid life force. 

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The sudden aroma of coffee fills his nostrils and Izaya stretches awake. It takes him a moment to remember where he is. The light from the windows illuminating the room. For the first time he notices a few pictures on the wall. Glancing to the kitchen he can see Shizuo making something on the stove. Cigarette hanging from his mouth he looks like he is really concentrating. Izaya starts to sit up wincing from the fresh pain in his side and thigh. 

"Shizu-chan what are you making?" He call out.

Shizuo drops his spatula at the sudden intrusion of Izayas voice in his head. "Damn it!"

Izaya chuckles. "Hey protozan can you even cook?"

Shizuo glares at him from across the room. "Of course I can!" He bends over collecting the spatula tossing it into the sink. "Sorry I don't have much so I just made some eggs."

Izaya arches a brow "You made eggs? Well I hope you didn't get too many eggs shells in them."

Tch! Shizuo slams a plate on the counter with a loud clatter. "Just shut up and come eat. Do you want coffee?"

Izaya smiles at the angry beast. "Yes please. Black."

Shizuo rolls his eyes as he fills a cup "I should've guessed."

Izaya slowly stands up carefully stretching out his legs. Gritting his teeth he limps over to the wall of pictures. There are a few of Shizuo and Kasuka as children. Shizuo has brown hair and looks odd but when Izaya squints he can see a faint smile. There is one of Shizuo and Shinra from high school. Shinra is doing the peace sign with his tongue out. Typical. Shizuo however looks like he is growling at something. Also typical. Izaya chuckles out loud. Something warm touching his shoulder makes him turn.

Shizuo is standing next to him with a cup of coffee in one hand. The other hand has a second cup resting on Izayas shoulder. "Yeah I ain't much of a smiler." Shizuo mutters. "Only reason these are up is because Shinra insisted. Thought it would bring some life to the place." He takes a swig.

Izaya grabs the cup from his shoulder and also takes a swig. He points up at a photo higher up. "When was that one?" 

Shizuo reaches up and takes it off the wall smiling crookedly. "It was right after graduation. Don't you remember?" When Izaya looks at him confused he shakes his head. "Shinra threw a party for us!" He hands to photo to Izaya. "He made sure that one was hanging up. Wouldn't let me argue. Every time I took it down it mysteriously made it’s way back up."

"Ah yes now I remember! You fell asleep on the couch!" Izaya laughs. "I sat next to you to take a break from Shinras constant talking and when I seen you asleep I was going to suffocate you!" Shizuo chokes on his coffee. "Ah but Shinra caught me before I could get the pillow to your face. He took all the pillows from the couch and hid them in his room!" Izaya grabs his side laughing. "I feel asleep too before he got back. I swear he must have drugged us!" He took another swig of the coffee "I guess he couldn't believe we were sitting next to each other even though we were asleep. He had to have had Celty take that photo!" 

In the photo Shizuo wore his high school uniform and Izaya was in his read shirt, black jacket combo. They were slumped on the couch asleep while Shinra was sitting infront of it between them. The two enemies were leaned opposite of each other. Shizuos arms were crossed and Izayas hands were in his pockets. Shinra was smiling so bright like he had never been happier.

Shizuo took the photo and hung it back up. "Come on flea bag, your eggs will get cold and I don't feel like hearing you bitch about it." he gripes walking towards the bar. He takes a seat and starts eating. 

Izaya takes one more glance at the photo up high and limps over to take the seat next to Shizuo. This time he notices Shizuos blood stained leg. "Hey what did you do? Clumsy monsters should be more careful when they are cooking you know?" his smile drops when Shizuos brown gaze sweeps over to him.

"Stupid, this was from you!" he growls.

Izaya leans over to take a closer look. "Well I guess it is the right size." he smirks back up at Shizuo under darks lashes. "Can't say I am really sorry though."

Shizuo grunts "Did I ask you to apologize?" 

Izaya sits back up and stares at the plate before him. The eggs on his plate look terrifying. Was that yolk in the middles or did Shizuo spit in it… He looked over and seen that Shizuos eggs were the same but the monster was scarfing them down like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Izaya took a mouthful almost spitting it out immediately. He could feel Shizuo stiffen beside him and felt his eyes glance at him.

"Yeah… there might be some shells in it…." Shizuo murmurs through a mouthful.

Izaya looks wide eyed at him. "Seriously? Just poison me protozan!" He pushes himself away from the bar to get up but another wave of dizziness takes him over. He starts to slide from the barstool and Shizuo tries to catch him. The plate of eggs flip up and coat the informant in flemy yellow yolk. He slaps his coffee mug in an attempt to grab the counter and the coffee dumps on Shizuo.

"Fuck are you ok?!" Shizuo shouts. He grabs Izaya under his arms and lifts him back into the stool. 

Izaya leans his face into his hands over the bar. "What the hell is wrong with me!?" he growls into his hands. He peers at Shizuo seeing nothing but concern in his eyes. Not a face the monster should be making at HIM. "Don't fucking look at me like that!" he turns away again. 

"Izaya… Maybe we should take you to a hospital." Shizuo says quietly.

Izaya looks back at him "Not thanks… I am fine."

"No you aren't. There could be internal damage! Dammit flea let me help you." Shizuo yells.

Izaya looks back at him seething in anger. "NO." He tires to get up again but the dizzy spell tries to take him again so he just sits. They both just sit in quiet. Izaya props his chin on his hand on the bar and glances at Shizuo who is just mixing his eggs up with his fork. He looks so unhappy. "Shizu-chan?" Shizuo looks over at him. "If there was something wrong with me then what?"

"What do you mean? We fix it." Shizuo tilts his head confused.

"We? Izaya repeats at him.

"Fuck flea." Shizuo rubs the back of his own neck. "I mean. It's my fault right? Like hell I wouldn't fix you. I don't want to owe you anything."

Izaya smiles "When you put it that way….you are a selfish bastard aren't you?"

Shizuo growls and turns away to keep messing with his eggs. Izaya looks over at the door. "I don’t want to go to the hospital. What about calling Shinra?" 

Shizuo shakes his head. "No good. That was the first person I called last night for help. He is away with Celty. Not really sure when they will come back." He looks up at the ceiling and back at Izaya smiling. Izaya would swear there was a light bulb above his stupid head. "Hey your really good at research. Why not look it up?"

Izaya stares at him mouth partly open "Are you really that stupid?" Shizuo flinches like a dog being scolded. "You can't look things like that up on the internet! You'll get nothing but 'Cancer this' and 'tumor that'. Wow Shizuo. I would have though even YOU would know better." He shakes his head in disappointment.

Shizuos mouth is hanging open. "The fuck?" he stands up collecting his plates and walks over to the kitchen. Izaya can see his muscles straining to keep control under his coffee plastered shirt. "Well…I though it was a great fucking idea." He slams the plates into the sink shattering them. Izaya jolts back a bit at the sound.

"Oh calm down Shizu-chan I have another idea!" he looks over at his phone by the couch "But ill need to use your phone…"

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Shizuo grabs his phone and hands it to Izaya. "So this Namie person, is she as shitty as you?"

Izaya grins at Shizuo before dialing "Oh no. I think she is much worse." his eyes light up when Namie answers. "Oh Namie hello! Of course you won't recognize this number it's Shizu-chans" he smiles at Shizuo when Shizuo mouths the words 'Shut the hell up!'. "I need your help. Come to the address I am sending you and bring some of your simple medical things. I seem to have upset my brain a bit." Izaya nods "Fine I will give you a week off with pay. I have to do something good for you if you have to come to this disease ridden apartment." Shizuo slams his fist on the counter glaring at Izaya. "Yes Namie that will work. See you then."

"You are such an asshole!" Shizuo yells.

"Oh please protozan. Can't you come up with something more imaginative to call me? I am pretty sure you’ve said that line three times already." Izaya laughs. "Anyway Namie will be here in a few hours. Seems she is tied up with her brother right now. Those two are fucking weird."

Shizuo grunts and looks down at his shirt and then at Izayas. Since the shirt was so big on him a lot of the mess was on his neck, some spilling into the shirt. "oi flea." Izaya looks up from the phone. "Um we should really clean up right?"

Izaya looks at himself and nods slowly. "I guess we should…" he looks at Shizuo with expectancy. "You'll have to fix the curtain in the shower first. "

The memories from falling in the shower flash in his mind and he turns away blushing. "Yeah Ill get right on that." Shizuo gets up and goes to the bathroom. Standing infront of the shower he mutters "stupid flea". He grabs the shower rod and lifts it up with the curtain still attached. He squeezes the pole to shrink it up against the walls and releases it once in place. "Ok flea you should be good to go!" he shouts.

"Oh thank you so much, mind getting out now?" Izaya is leaning against the door frame with his head tilted. "I really don't feel like letting you see me naked again."

Shizuo growls "Just move!" He shoved past him and goes to clean up the kitchen. He hears the door close behind and next the shower turn on. 

Standing over the sink pissed because he broke yet another set of dishes. He grabs the trash can and slides it over setting to work at picking out the broken pieces from the sink. At least it was only two plates this time. The last time he raged in his own kitchen he broke at least five that were just drying on the rack. 

Once he gets all of it up he grabs a towel from the drawer by the sink to start to wipe off the counter and the floor where the coffee and eggs spilled, growling to himself the whole time "Stupid fucking flea. All you ever do is make messes at my expense!" He throws the dirty towels in the sink and goes to make himself another cup of coffee. Once he has the cup filled a little over half way he adds sugar and milk. 

Walking over to sit back on the stool he shudders at the wet and now cold shirt he is wearing. He gets back up and leans over to slide off the shirt. Sliding the wet material over his back he tries to use the dryer parts of the shirt to wipe his torso off. Suddenly there is a commotion from the bathroom.

The bathroom door flies open and Izaya stumbles out with his own shirt half off. He has one arm out and under the bottom the rest of the shirt tangled around his other arm and neck. The pants legs are well over his feet and he is half tripping. "Stupid protozan and your giant clothes! Help me!" He freezes when he sees Shizuo clearly struggling not to laugh. "Just shut up and help me you idiot!"

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After turning on the water to let it warm up a bit Izaya stands and looks at himself in the mirror. His neck is a new shade of yellow from the eggs and the shirt is bunched up on places where the yolk had dried. He rubs his forehead with irritation. The steam from the shower starts to fog up the mirror indicating the water is at a good temperature. 

He starts with the shirt. Pulling out one arm and biting back a shriek of disgust from the sticky residue on his neck. He raises the arm wincing at the pain in his side from stretching up his arm. Pieces of caked egg yolk chipping and flaking down his chest. He gets the shirt onto his shoulder and steps back slipping on the pant legs that worked their way under his feet falling into the wall. "Shit!" He cries in a mix of anger and pain.

He struggles for a second reaching for the door knob and thrust the door open. "Stupid protozan and your giant clothes! Help me!" He manage to get his eyes over the shirt and stops struggling when he sees Shizuo standing there shirtless with a look of surprise on his face. It's when he sees him struggling not to laugh that he yells "Just shut up and help me you idiot!"

Shizuo strides over and grabs the shirt from the bottom. "Raise your arms up and I'll pull."

Izaya does as he is told. Face hot with embarrassment at losing the battle to simply take off his shirt. Shizuo slides the shirt up over his head and arms. Izaya looks at the needle in his chest. "I think this should be ok to remove. My breathing hasn't sounded quite like popping cereals for a while." he grabs the needle between his fingers and Shizuo grabs his wrist before he can pull it out. 

Izaya looks up into his eyes, eyes that are now mixed with fear and panic. "Shizuo…. I. AM. FINE." He uses his other hand to grab Shizuos wrist that is on his. "If it makes you feel better you can do it." When Shizuo looks lost to his words he yanks Shizuos wrist popping the needle out. 

"FUCK!" Shizuo shouts. "What if your lung collapses again!?"

"Idiot, I doubt it will. Box cutter blades are so thin I'm sure my lung has mended itself plenty so long as you don't go tossing me off a building anytime soon I think it'll be ok." When Shizuo doesn’t look convinced he sighs "Look if it makes you feel better I'll leave the bathroom door open so If I feel like something is wrong I can yell for you. Happy?" Shizuo just nods. "Now let go of my wrist so I can go clean up. And no peaking!"

Shizuo drops his wrist, taking the needle he goes to sit on the couch flipping on the TV. It doesn't go unnoticed that he turns the volume down low. "Just what did I put you through Shizu-chan" Izaya murmurs to himself watching Shizuo. He can tell Shizuo is nervous as hell by the way he his tapping his foot on the floor. He watched for a moment before turning to go back into the bathroom.

Looking back to make sure that Shizuo isn't looking he slides his pants off. He doesn't have to work so hard since they barely fit. They drop to the floor and his steps out of them. He gently peels the gauze off his side and winces at the skin tugging. He takes the bandage off his chest admiring the scab over it. The stitch jobs really is amazing. He twist a little to get a better look at his side. He checks Shizuo again before sliding off his underwear and quickly stepping into the tub. 

The water feels incredible on his skin. So warm! He reaches over to close the curtain. He faces away from the spray leaning back to soak his hair. He reaches out for the shampoo examining it in his hands. Cheap. He squirts it in his palm and takes a whiff. It smells musky. He gently works it into his hair. It may be the cheapest shampoo he has ever used but as it lathers against his skull he would swear it was the best shampoo he had ever used. He leans back to rinse out the suds when dizziness threatens him. 

Reaching for the wall he steadies himself. The suds that smear on the wall are tinged pink "Dammit!" he hits the wall as soap gets in his eye. It stings like a son of bitch. He hears a clambering idiot enter the room.

"Hey you ok in there?" Shizuo calls out from the other side of the curtain. 

Izaya can barley made out his silhouette on the other side due from squinting at the stinging from the soap. "Yeah. I just got soap in my eyes. Nothing to worry about." he can hear Shizuo move and see the shadow sit. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting." when silence is the only response he adds "Because I don't want to get the couch sticky from the coffee spill on me." Izaya can see him shift awkwardly.

"Whatever you say." he replies.

Izaya continues rinsing himself off, being very careful not to move to quick in case he gets dizzy again. He reaches for the bar of soap aware that it belongs to the beast and rinses it off before using it. He still faces away from the water but backs into it so the water runs across his shoulders and down his front. 

He works the soap over his chest rotating it in small circles before running it up each arm and then across the back of his neck. He can't really bend over too much so he hikes up a leg on the ledge to wash each leg in turn. The curtain tugs at his foot and he sees Shizuos shadow turn to it. Ignoring the feeling that the beast is so close when his is naked he focuses on the wounded areas.

He pays special care on his thigh and side. Using the soap only around it and then using his other hand to rinse it off. He peers over at the silhouette sitting. Sighing he reaches for the handle to turn off the water, stopping when his eyes catch something a little odd.

"Ummm Shizu-chan?" he calls out slowly. 

"Hm?" comes a voice.

"Why is there a bite mark on my collar bone?"

The silhouette half falls off the seat. "W-W-hat are you talking about!?"

Izaya throws open the curtain, the water still on, and points angrily at the bite mark. "This hell is this?" he says. His voice just barley steady. The water beating off him splashes onto Shizuo as he is starring wide eyes at the naked informant. "Explain please." he says through gritted teeth.

Shizuo covers his eyes with an arm "Hey close the curtain! Your making a mess and I don't need to see that shit!" Shizuo reaches out and tries to close the curtain but Izaya slaps his hand away.

"Answer me!" and now his voice is a shrill wail. "Who the hell bit me!? That's worse than being stabbed!" The water splashing on Shizuo is now dripping from his hair. The floor is starting to become soaked. He slowly moves his arm glaring at the naked man infront of him, his rage starting to take over.

"Flea. if you don't close that curtain your going to ruin my bathroom." his teeth grinding in a pathetic effort to stay calm.

"Like anything can RUIN this bathroom." Izaya doesn't even make an attempt to hide is own anger. "If you don't tell me about this I swear I will destroy this entire apartment. This shitty excuse for a bathroom will be the last of your worries!"

Shizuo stands up and starts to leave "You're fucking insane."

"Don’t you walk away from me you stupid protozan!" he grabs the shower head and starts to spray Shizuo with it. The water bounces off his bare back soaking the walls, the floor, and all that is Shizuo. He feels a small panic seize him when Shizuo back tightens against the spray and he slowly turns around. The pure dark rage on his face and flash of teeth from a snarl caused him to drop the shower head. Ignoring the spray going everywhere time seemed to pause. 

He isn't sure what happened first. Did Shizuo turn off the water or did Shizuo slam him against the wall by his throat? It didn't matter really. Shizuo was standing in the tub soaked and holding Izaya up. His toes barley scrapping the bottom. Letting out a choking sound "Shi- Shi- Shizu-chan." he tries to scrape at the hand holding him in place but the water makes it too slippery to grab at anything. Shizuo raises him up higher against the slick surface.

Shizuos nostrils are flaring and his breathing is harsh against Izayas chest. "Did you really spray me with my own shower like damn child?" Izaya glances down at the brown eyes of Shizuo letting a choked smile cross his lips. "Why. The fuck. Are you smiling?" Shizuo growls. Izaya looks up letting his arms fall and his head slumps down. "Flea?" Shizuo lets go and as soon as Izayas feet touch the ground he head butts Shizuos chest knocking them both out of the tub and onto the floor. 

Shizuo begins laughing like a lunatic and Izaya is confused. "What are you going to do Flea? Did you forget you that were naked?" he continues laughing until Izaya punches him in the face. Shizuos lips swells with a bit of blood and he wipes it off with his arm. He smiles crookedly. "You must be ready to die now huh? Actually you don't look so good flea."

Izayas head is swimming and he felt the familiar faint spell coming. To hell if he was going to go out like this. Izaya puts his face alarmingly close to Shizuos and sneers. "Don't think that my lack of clothing can stop me from killing you." he places his hands on Shizuos throat and starts to squeeze. Shizuo just smiles at the sad attempt to choke him. He feels his eyes roll back and before he can get another word out he passes out and falls over on Shizuo.

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Shizuo just lays there with the dead weight on top of him. Starring at the ceiling he whispers "What are we even doing anymore?"  
He tilts his head up feeling Izayas hair tickle his nose. "Did you use my shampoo?" He reaches over and grabs a towel draping it over Izaya. He runs a hand through his hair and the other hand sprawls on Izayas back. "You really are fucking crazy you know?" He can feel Izayas steady breathing on his chest and he lets his head fall back again. "Oi flea? If I were to tell you that I bit you what would you do then?"

He stiffens as Izayas head moves. Pulling his hands back and to his sides he freezes. What did the flea hear? He feels Izaya groan with the effort and arms fold on his chest. He dares to look. Wide rusted eyes stare into his "What…?"

Shizuo flops his head back against the floor. "Son of a bitch." he murmurs out loud. He closes his eyes feeling Izaya move over him. He can feel hands on either side of his head on the floor. When he opens his eyes Izayas face is hovering over his. His breathing halts at the look in the informants gaze. "Izaya?" 

Izaya doesn't say anything. Instead he squeezes his eyes shut as if he is thinking. Shizuo has never seen him think so hard. Usually he always seemed to know what to say, never having to think about it at all. When Izaya opens his eyes again they are filled with something new. Not anger, hate, malice or even the confusion Shizuo has grown used to. No this was something brand new. "Don't you say another word" he whispers. 

Izaya slowly leans down and lets his head rest in the crook of Shizuos neck and shoulder. He can feel his hands slide under his neck and Izayas breathing against his skin. Goose bumps form and he is too stunned to move. After a few moments his body seemed to move on it's own and both his arms wrap across Izayas back. He can feel Izaya stiffen at the touch but he as he lets his hands still Izaya slowly unstiffens.

He didn't know how long they had been laying like this. Time seemed to just stop moving so he didn't feel like it mattered. The warms breath on his neck, the gentle heart beat on his chest, and the warmth coming from Izaya was beginning to get to him. He had to move though because he could feel his cock threating to rise and that was a conversation that he was NOT willing to have with Izaya.

"Hey flea?" he whispers.

"I told you not to speak" Izaya breathes into his neck.

"I know but… ung!" He growls as teeth sink into his neck. "What are you doing!?" his fist clench on Izayas back.

Izaya slowly releases and pulls back a little admiring the mark he has left behind. "Is it really fair that you get to mark me and I can't do the same to you?" 

Shizuo turns his head to stare at Izaya with his mouth slightly open in shock. Shock that the flea just bit him and shock that it had most definetly aroused him. He was really hoping the flea didn't notice. When he looked at his face he seemed to be so focused on the bite mark. Shizuo couldn't begin to understand what had just happened.

Izaya pulls an arm out from under him and runs his fingers over the mark. Smiling as the muscles in Shizuos neck tighten at the touch. "Relax Shizu-chan. Namie will be here any moment right? You should probably let me go so I can get dressed." He pulls out his other arm and places it on Shizuos chest using it to push himself up.

Shizuo turns back over to stare at the ceiling. "Yeah…"

Izaya gets up quickly wrapping the towel around himself. He doesn't bother helping Shizuo get up instead walks over him and out to the living room. "Hey I need new clothes…." He looks back at Shizuo who had gotten up and is staring at the mark on his neck in the mirror. "Shizu-chan!" 

"Huh? Oh right. Hang on." Shizuo sits up. He gets to his feet and walks past Izaya to get to the bedroom. He collects another set of clothes for Izaya and goes to toss them pausing before the are able to part from his hand. "Ummmm do you want help real quick?" 

"Might as well." Izaya sighs from his seat on the couch.

Shizuo walks to stand in front of Izaya still self aware that he is shirtless and Izaya is naked under that towel. Shizuo rolls up the shirt and puts it over Izaya head, next helping guide his arms in the sleeves. He kneels down to get the pants over Izaya feet and up to his thighs. He can hear Izayas breathing hitch at the touch. "Ok I think you can manage from here. Sorry you have to go commando." he stands up watching Izaya roll his eyes.

"Quite apologizing idiot"

Shizuo shakes his head in annoyance and walks over to the bathroom doorway. He pauses and turns back. "Do you want me to leave the door open for when I shower? You know in case you need something?"

Izaya thinks for a moment before shaking his head no. "I think Ill be quite alright. I'll just sit here."

"Ok" and Shizuo closes the door. 

He walks over to the mirror again to look at the mark on his neck. Face growing hot when he reaches up to stroke it. "Crazy bastard." He tosses towels all over the floor and hangs up the shower head before turning the water back on. He grabs another pile of towels from under the sink and places them on the toilet. He then wipes off the walls and makes a pile of wet towels to shove in the corner. He will have to do laundry soon or he would run out of clean towel. With Izaya staying here that was going to be sooner than later. 

He slides off the his pants and underwear and growls at yet another erection. He was going to try his best to ignore this one but he wasn't sure if he could. All he could think of and feel was Izaya on top of him and his teeth grazing his skin. Growling to himself "What the hell is wrong with me. That is the fucking flea, the biggest piece of shit I have ever had the displeasure of meeting…"   
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Izaya stands for a moment to get the pants on irritated at the erection he has. Hopefully Shizuo didn't notice. He sits back down and looks around. He had no phone, no computer, and no cable. Of course that's an assumption but it is Shizuo. He has nothing to really occupy himself with while he waits. In away it's kind of nice though. He can't remember the last time he was free from work. Lacing his fingers together behind his head he leans back.

Thoughts drifting back to the photo on the wall. He never really forgot that day. True he did intend to suffocate Shizuo with a pillow but when Shinra took them his plans were foiled. It was when he was left in the room alone with a sleeping monster that made the memory. He had leaned his head over on Shizuos shoulder just listening to his breathing. This was the first and only time that Shizuo felt like a human to him and it terrified him. 

He glanced up, still against the monsters shoulder, and reached a hand out to brush it through Shizuos hair. Smiling to himself when Shizuo frowned in his sleep. Shizuo then started growling gently in his sleep and Izaya drew back finding relief that the monster was still here.   
Suddenly he heard the bedroom door open. He quickly scooted back over shoving his hands into his pockets and pretending to be asleep. The single moment gone. He could hear Shinra gasp when he walked into the room. 

"Oh what a rare sight! My two best friends sitting together! Sure you guys are asleep but still!" He rummages through a drawer by the couch pulling out a camera. "Celty come here quick." He hands her the camera. "Take our photo! This will be the rarest photo in the whole world I am sure of it!" He gets down on the floor between the two sleeping men and smiles so big that Celty almost drops the camera. "We'll have to print out thousands of these because I know they will try to destroy all of them!"

The memory floats away as he turns to the bathroom to see Shizuo walking out. Towel wrapped around his waist and another on his shoulders. He is rubbing his hair dry and stands right outside the door. Izaya feels like his heart is going to beat the pictures off the walls. There's a knock at the door and Shizuo looks over at Izaya.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything…" He walks down the hall to the bedroom and closes the door behind him. 

Izaya gets up and hobbles over to the door to let Namie in. She pushes past him almost knocking him down and instantly puts her hand to her face. "Gross! I can't believe your In a place like this!" She stands in the middle of the living room while Izaya closes and locks the door. "This place is a real dump."

"Ah Namie, observant as ever?" Izaya coos as he walks back to sit on the couch.

Namie is in a knitted green dress, lab coat and has her hair up in a pony tail. She looks like she's just come from a nice date if he didn't know any better. She glares at him "This better be important! I had to cut my lunch short the Seji." She walks over and shoves the medical supplies on the coffee table to the floor. "Ok lets get to work." She pops her medical bag on the table and cracks it open.

"Right to it eh? Not even going to ask questions?" he smiles at her.

"Izaya, I only ask questions to get answers I give a shit about having." she pulls out a small flashlight and crouches in front of him. "Ok tell me what's been going on while you follow this light." 

"Well when ever I stand for too long or do anything strenuous I get- Dammit Namie! What the hell!" he shields his eyes from the light when it hits his eyes.

Namie turns the light off "You get dizzy?" when Izaya nods she stands and touches his scalp. "Ok tell me your name."

"Izaya Orihara." he folds his arms in annoyance at the question.

"And the date?" she mumbles when she finds the spot on his head.

He flinches "ummmmm Actually I don't know…" She pauses and backs away looking at him curiously. "Well I think it's….March?"

She raises and eyebrow "Try April you idiot. Can you stand up and walk over to the bar and back?"

"Oh course I can!" He gets up and hobbles over to the bar. Namie sighs behind him and he turns to hobble back. "Well?" Not even trying to hide his irritation any more "What the hell is wrong with me?"

"God you really are dumb. You have a concussion."

"Is that all? I've never had one like this before…." he sits back on the couch feeling the knot on his head. "I don't remember how I even got this…"

Namie packs up her things. "I suggest you get a scan done." When Izaya gasps she adds on "Or you can just wait it out. If it gets worse though you need to get checked out at the hospital. Not much I can do for you here, not that I really care either. Do you need me to take you home?" She glances around again "I mean this place really is a dump…."

Izaya glances at the door smiling wickedly. "Hey Namie? How long should I wait this out?"

She follows his eyes to the door "Maybe a week I guess. Is Shizuo here?"

He looks back at her still holding onto that smile. "Yes, and no I think I'll stay right here. What better way to torture him than stay in his presence?"

She rolls her eyes "And if he kills you? Who is going to give me a paycheck?" She held her breath for a second. She didn't think that his smile could get any more wicked but here he was proving her wrong.

"Oh Tisk Tisk Namie. How could he kill me when all of this is his fault? Oh no, I don't plan to die here in this shit hole. In fact I think it's going to be quite the adventure." He leaned his head back to laugh. It was a little maniacal and he had to cover his mouth. "Just how far can you push a monster?" 

"What ever." She grabbed her bag and headed to the door. "I expect to keep my week off with pay." and with out a good bye she was gone. 

Izaya was left alone in the room. He got up to walk to the kitchen to grab a snack. Pulling open the fridge he felt his stomach rumble but the fridge was empty. Of course there was some milk but that was it. Shizuo must have used all of the eggs for the 'breakfast' he had made that morning. Sighing he hobbled over to Shizuos door. He knocked a few times and there was no answer. He slowly opened the door to find Shizuo napping on his bed. 

He looked around. It was impressively unimpressive. He didn't even have a proper bed! It was just a mattress on the ground, not even any sheets on it…. He had one dresser and a closet that seemed to be over flowing with junk. Atop the dresser was an ashtray, Shizuos keys, wallet and phone. Nothing interesting. He pulled open a drawer and all it contained were clothes. Same with the next three drawers. Shizuo was the most boring person on the planet!

He made his was over to the junk pile and lifted up a layer of clothes to reveal old newspapers and a box. Checking to make sure Shizuo hadn't stirred he opened the box. Inside was Shizuos hold high school uniform and a few school books. As if the dumb beast could learn anything. He picked up a book titled Geometry 4.9. Yeah right. 

Izaya gently sat on the edge of the bed to look at the book. A lot of the pages had been ripped out but most of them had scribbles all over them. Was the beast actually trying to understand this? He could make out faint calculations that were half right but then, as if someone got angry, they had been scratched out so hard it tore a hole in the page. This was definitely Shizuos book. He continued looking through the book with such interest. 

The book then floated up out of his reach and when he tried to catch it he fell back into something soft and hard. "Oi. What the hell do you think your doing?" Shizuo had woken up and crawled up behind him on the mattress. Izaya was now on his back and his head was in Shizuos lap starring up with eyes full of laughter.

�"Well I found this neat book and wanted to see if it really was yours. I can tell by the sloppy writing and destruction of the book it really was. Who knew?" He shrugged stifling a laugh "What would a monster like you do with Geometry?" He winced as Shizuo crossed his legs and held up the book peering inside.

"You know maybe I would have learned something if you weren’t always pissing me off." He starred at the book trying to concentrate and Izaya let out his laugh he had been holding it. "Hey it's not funny. I really did try to figure this shit out but it was hard!" Shizuo went to slam the book on Izayas face but halted it right above him. "Oi what did Namie say?"

Izaya pushed the book away and tried to make the darkest, saddest face he could. "Nothing good… She wants me to call her in a week if there are any changes. The damages might be permanent and my mind could go at anytime." Shizuos eyes grew so wide it looked like his lids would split. It took Izaya everything he had not to break his act. "She said I couldn't go home because that much movement would increase the risk and as long as I took it easy I could recover."

Shizuo brushed his hand through his own hair and starred at the wall. Izaya just kept watching his facial expressions, relishing in his new game. Shizuo sighed a heavy sigh and looked back down with eyes full of sorrow. "Is this really my fault? You didn't have to jump in to help me. I did tell you not to follow me right?" He swallowed as he forced the rest out "I worked so hard to keep you alive and now your telling me that it might not have been enough?"

"No no no, didn't you hear me? As long as I take it easy this week I should be ok!" he said with a smile.

"Hey wait. How does she know all of this?" Shizuo asked. His voice was suddenly filled with a hint of suspicion. 

Izaya was too quick for his own good. "Well you see, they have this portable machine now. It kind of looks like a helmet. They put it on a person and it takes a scan of the brain. Namie was able to read that scan."

"Well how come Shinra never used something like that on me?" Shizuo asked.

"Because it's a prototype that Namie stole from her old company." 

"Oh. Well that makes sense I guess... I need to go make a grocery run if your going to be staying here huh is there anything else you need?" He smiles a little bit too big "I mean YOU'LL be the one paying for everything anyway."

Izaya chuckles and gets up "Of course I am, if not we'd be stuck eating garbage all week. I'll make you a list, you can read right?"

Shizuo growls as he also gets up. "Yeah asshole! Just make your damn list. Get out so I can change"

"What's wrong with what you have on?" Shizuo was just wearing a tee and sweats. 

"Oh well, the bartender outfit tends to warn people. It's kinda my thing ya know? If I came out in this people might think I'm too causal and try to approach me." Looking at Izaya he grumbles "Why am I explaining this to you? Just get out."

Izaya grabs a pencil from the junk pile by the closet and grabs a piece of paper that looks useless to write on. "I guess this will do…" He heads out to kitchen area, sitting at the bar, to start making his list. "Ok lets see, what do monsters eat? I guess anything really." 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shizuo exits his room fully dressed in new bartender attire. He heads to the bathroom first collecting all of the dirty laundry. "Oi flea, want me to take you jacket to a dry cleaner or somethin?"

Izaya looks back at him from the bar. "Yes please. If they can’t fix it ill burn their place to the ground so be sure to let them know." He turns back around to work on his list. 

He walks over by the couch collecting Izayas jacket and other bloody clothes, stuffing them inside of a worn laundry bag. He drops the bag by the door. He then goes back into the bathroom and shoves the wet towels into another laundry bag shoved behind the door. He collects the ones in the bedroom too. Depositing the bag next to the other one he walks over to Izaya to check out the list. "Hey why so much tuna?" he squints. "A new phone? Wow. Hey write your sizes down and I can get you some clothes that way I have less laundry to do."

Izaya looks at him with a sly smile. "That wont be necessary. The clothing shops I go to are much to nice for you. You would embarrass me by going in there. I'll just keep borrowing yours." When Shizuo looks like he is going to protest he smacks him across the chest "Now now, I don't really want to waste my money on anything that I don't intend to keep!" 

Shizuo really can't argue with that one. He hates the idea of wasting money since he is always broke. "Fine but back to the tuna. Why don't you let me pick you up a whole fish, might save you some money to prep a lot of it for the week." 

Izaya gasps "Are you kidding me!? Have a dead fish here? I hate dead fish!" he shudders. "They way their eyes seem to stare into some kind of afterlife that isn't there…"

Shizuo can't help but laugh "Are you serious? Fish eyes? You are an idiot!"

"Shut up protozan! Just go shop already I am starving!" he thrust the list at Shizuo who grabs it almost destroying it.

"All right. I'll be back. Don't screw up anything!" He grabs up the laundry and head out.

Izaya looks at the door and his signature smile crosses his lips. "Screw up things? The only thing I am going to screw up is that head of yours." He gets up and walks to the bedroom. "Now what would piss you off the most at your return?"

Shizuo heads to the laundry place first. Most people would worry about the blood stained clothes but these people were used to it. He had been using them for years. He lights a cigarette on the way and rejoices in the taste on his tongue. Every time he tried to smoke lately it felt like he couldn't enjoy it. At least out here he could breath, add the flea in his apartment made it seem so cramped. Someone bumped into him knocking the cigarette from his mouth.

"Son of a bitch!" he growled. Looking at the face of a terrified teenage boy he dropped the laundry. "Are you going to even apologize!?" the boy seemed too shaken up to say anything and Shizuo lifts him by his collar. "When you bump into someone you should say your sorry. It's rude and not everyone will be as nice about it as me." the boy blinks a few times in bewilderment.

"Ye-ye-yes sir. I am s-s-sorry." he flinches as Shizuo puts a hand on his shoulder and brings their faces closer. 

"Good job! But next time START WITH IT!" Shizuo tosses the boy behind him and collects his bags and continues walking. The boy landed behind him sprawled on the sidewalk in a daze. He doesn’t seem to be injured but a few passerby's are checking on him. No one dares to confront Shizuo about it. Shizuo smiles to himself as he walks. "That’s right, leave me alone, be afraid of the beast walking." he says to himself. 

He gets to the laundry mat starring up at the sign. It's the most run down dry cleaner you'd ever see. The building looks like it could collapse at any moment. The pale white paint chipping, rusted door and a sign above that says 'mois clnrs' in ugly yellow. A lot of the letters are broken. Shoving his way into the rickety building he takes a deep breath. 

The inside smells of concrete and laundry soap. There is a counter with a bell but no attendant. Various posters on the walls of events from decades ago around town indicate that this place is old as hell. This is his kinda place though. No one hardly uses it due the outside appearance expect elderly folk that have already been going to it since the dawn of time. It's a quite place free from people usually.

He walks over and rings the bell. A harsh voice come from the back "HANG ON I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" He places his bags on the counter and goes to take a seat. He walks over to some dirty orange chairs that are attatched together in a four row seat combo. There is a broken barrel on the side littered with old magazines. He starts reading one while he waits. 

An old man in suspenders comes out from the back grabbing the bags and throwing them into the room he had come from. "Hey SHIZUO! What's going on?" The man is very thin and the suspenders look like the only thing keeping his clothes on. He has gray pants with spots all over them from constant laundry work and his white shirt has also seen better days. He has thick rimmed glasses and his hair looks like he stood behind and airplane as it took off. 

Shizuo smiles and gets up to the counter. "Hey Morie how's it goin?" 

Mories smiles like a mad man. "Let me tell you what happened last week Shizuo. I kid you not a group of teens came in here to check out the place and I soon as I got to the counter they screamed and ran right out!" 

Shizuo laughed "What the hell? What did you say to them?"

"Not a damn thing! I didn't even get to greet them. I didn't realize it until a few minutes later but I had just finished cleaning up a meat cutters attire so I was a covered in red stains." Shizuo nodded in understanding, still laughing. "It probably didn't help that I was carrying a cleaver though."

"Why did you have that?" Shizuo asked in surprise.

"Well the client was short on cash due to something about losing a whole cow to a shoot up at his place. I don't ask questions just clean. Anyways, I told him I'd cut him a deal for one of those fancy cleavers! I've always wanted one!" He started bouncing a little with excitement. "I was playing with it, you know just cutting things up, and then those kids came in. I didn't think about any of it" He loses himself in a fit of laughter and Shizuo joins in. 

"Well Morie I have a fun one for you. One of my buddies" he clears his throat "I mean one of my acquaintances. He got into some trouble and, well, there's a lot of blood." Morie nods still bouncing a bit. "There's a jacket in there that seems to be real important to him. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about it but the whole thing was kind of my fault. He also said if you couldn’t fix it he'd burn the pace down."

Morie chuckles "Burn it down huh? Sounds like a fine fellow! He'd be doing me a favor so maybe I should destroy it? Ah I'm just kidding. You know there is almost nothing I can't clean up!"

"Yeah that's why I come to you. So how much do I owe ya? I got the guys wallet so any amount is fine" he grins holding up the wallet.

Mories eyes light up "You don't say? How many zeros is too much?" 

Shizuo and Morie come up with a reasonable price and he leaves laughing to himself. "Crazy bastard!" Now he was heading down to the nearest grocery store.

Meanwhile back at the dry cleaners. Morie goes to the back and starts unloading the bag of laundry containing the clothes. He pulls out Izayas coat and his eyes light up. "Oh so it's like that now is it?" he hangs the coat up on a rotating rack full of other destroyed attire and steps back. "Oh Shizuo my boy you don't even realize the trouble you are in do you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for for sticking around! I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I did another proof read before posting so sorry if there are any errors! I had a plan to originally do everything from Shizuo's point of view but I thought it would be more fun to go back and forth :}


	4. Broken Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya is staying with Shizuo to torment him. What will happen when the tables are turned?

Shizuo walks into the grocery store and a few people eye him with caution but no one dares look for too long. He shops here enough that they know better. He starts collecting the essentials and then goes to the list. Eyeing it with suspicion he shrugs and starts getting the things. He starts to think about what he should make for dinner and pauses while reaching for some noodles. "Hey with his condition what can he really eat?"

He pulls out his phone looking though the numbers. Finding the one that seems unfamiliar he dials and a woman answers on the second ring "What do you want now?!"

"Ummm hey? It's Shizuo, Namie right." He can tell she is very annoyed but presses on. "So Izaya told me what you said and I wanted to make sure I didn't feed him anything that would make him worse."

"What are you talking about idiot? He can eat what ever he wants."

Shizuo growl into the phone "Well how the fuck am I supposed to know? I don't know how brain injuries work!"

"Brain injury? Did he already get a CT scan at the hospital? What did it say?" she says with a hint of worry to her tone. "If he can't keep working then I need to know! I need a damn pay check."

Shizuo pulls the phone away eyeing it with a glare as if the phone itself had just insulted him. He put it back to his ear. "Scan? He said you used some weird helmet to check his brain."

Namie starts laughing "What?! Do you really think something like that exists?"

Shizuo growls menacingly into the phone "Oi, What the fuck are you telling me? He said he might not recover and it could be permanent."

She continues laughing so loud he has to pull the phone away from his ear. When he puts it back she is trying to catch her breath. "Wow you really are as dumb as he says. I told him to take it easy and let me know if it gets worse. Nothing more. He should be fine in a week if not!"

"Then why the fuck is he still at my place!?" he yells into the phone.

"Isn't if obvious? He is screwing with you! That’s what he does! Did you forget who he was? I even offered to take him home mys…."

Shizuo slams the phone closed and fights not to grind it to dust in his hand. Instead he grabs the nearest shopping cart of an unsuspecting woman and hurls it a few isles over. "THAT SON OF BITCH!" He stands huffing seeing nothing but red. The frightened woman grabs his sleeve and he glares at her. "WHAT?!"

"Ummmm I'm sorry but I heard a little bit of what you were saying…." Shizuo just keeps glaring and she looks away. "If…umm…the person at your house doesn't know that you know he is faking then you could do the same back right?" She peers up with caution and then slowly backs away in retreat. 

Shizuo takes a step towards her and she squeaks when he pats her on the head. "Hey thanks. Tell you what, finish your shopping and find me. I'll pay for what ever you get." He smiles a devilish grin and holds up the wallet. "Get as much as you want."

"You don’t have to do that sir! I was eavesdropping!" she says.

"Yeah but you gave me one hell of an idea." he grabs his own cart to walk past the stunned woman and continues shopping. His mind racing with thoughts of how to best torment the flea. He had a plan brewing and bubbling in his mind. If the flea though his presence was going to annoy Shizuo then he was going to throw it right back. He would embrace it even and make the flea sick until he couldn’t stand him anymore and would leave on his own accord. 

He makes his was down the cereal isle and grabs a few boxes of his favorite sugary flakes. Looking at the small pile in his cart he grabs a few more boxes. Might as well stock up since the flea is buying. He grabs a single box of bran flakes thinking it might be something the flea would eat. If he didn't like it who cares.

He goes down the soup isle, the pasta isle and into the frozen section. He fills his cart to the brim smiling with satisfaction. Lastly he heads to the meat department. He never buys beef or anything that would be so pricey so he makes sure to grab all kinds of different things. He gets fillets and a few roasts. He grabs a great big T-bone laughing out load at the though of burning it. He knows he can't cook but with this he could experiment.

"I should go get some spices right?" Shizuo ponders out loud. As he turns to go to the spices something catches his eyes behind the glass of the fresh area. 

He walks towards the glass and peering through it he smiles. His own reflection catches his eye and his smile widens at the wickedness of it. He steps back.

"Oi grab me up one of those and put it in a Styrofoam container if you got one. Thanks" he calls out to the man behind the counter.

The man nods looking at little confused by the way Shizuo was smiling but he did it anyway. He turns and rustles under the counter to find a container. He grabs some tongs and pulls open the case reaching in a delicately picks up the object Shizuo is eyeying.

"Wait no not that one. Get this one here right in front."

The man leans in deeper to grab it. "Are you sure sir? This one seems a bit smaller?"

Shizuo nods. "I don't care about the size really."

The mans boxes up the item and weighs it out. He puts a tag on the container and hands it across the counter to Shizuo. Shziuo never breaking his smile, takes the container from the man. He cracks it open and laughs like a mad man. The man behind the counter steps back a bit looking scared. Shizuo gives him a thumbs up and heads to the spices for his final destination. 

He stood starring at the spices for a good while. There were a lot more than he was prepared for and he had no idea what to grab. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was the woman "Excuse me do you want me to help? You look a bit lost…." Shizuo nods and looks back at the wall. "Do you know what you are going to make, you look like you are about to have a feast" she says while peering at his cart. 

"I don't do a lot of cooking so I don't know. I guess I want enough of this crap so that I can experiment." he grabs a small thing of salt. "I know that I'll need this." he tosses it in the cart and grabs something else in a glass bottle "The hell is saffron?" he turns to her and she chuckles.

"Here let me pick out somethings for you. If you don't know what you are doing I would definetly not get saffron, that would be a waste" She takes the small bottle from him and puts it back. "Lets just get you the basics. Garlic, pepper, parsley, oregano and how about some paprika?" she stuffs these in his cart. "Are you wanting to make sweets?" she asks.

He lights up instantly. "Can I?"

She laughs "I'll take that as a yes." she grabs Cinnamon and some vanilla extract from the side. "Here, this is as basic as it gets" Are you finished shopping? I think it's getting pretty late." 

He nods and they head to the check out. The clerk seems to have dealt with Shizuo before. He is a small teenager and the whole time he was checking them out he was trembling. Shizuo didn't pay any attention to him though. He was busy talking to the woman about Izaya and his plans. 

She covered her mouth letting out a laugh "He sounds like quite a character!" She point at the Styrofoam container "And that sounds like it will be a riot!" 

He laughs to "Yeah I can't wait!"

The clerk stutters out the total "Umm ok- ok it ummmm 425$" 

Shizuo slams his fist on the counter. "NO. I'm buying what ever she has too."

The clerk lets out a small yelp and continues ringing out adding her items to the bill. 

"Thank you mister. That was very kind of you." Outside She bows to him in thanks.

"Yeah it's no problem, and you can call me Shizuo. Let me help you load up real quick." He walks to her trunk and loads everything in. "Thanks for helping me out in there too" he says bowing himself.

She smiles "Of course. You know I have seen you shop here before and was afraid of you. You aren't a bad person though. Next time I see you we will have to swap recipes!"

He pats her on the head again "Yeah of course. It might be nice to have someone to shop with too."

They part ways and he heads back home. He gets a few strange looks from the amount of bags he is carrying. No one offers to help though. Might be the crazy look on his face he assumes. It had gotten dark while he was shopping so there weren’t as many people out now anyway.

Climbing the stairs to his apartment he drops his things by the door pulling out the phone. "He thinks I'm an idiot? I'll show you who's an idiot stupid flea." He deletes the last call he had made and puts the phone back in his pocket. Unlocking the door and backing in, he closes it with his foot. He deposits the items on the counter and goes back to the door to lock it. He slides his shoes off and leaves them by the door.

Standing in the kitchen he looks around. No sign of the flea…. He puts everything away even struggles to close some of the cabinets. His kitchen had never been so full! He freezer was bulging with meats and the fridge looked dark inside from the amount covering the light. He looks at the Styrofoam container and smiles. He carefully places it in the fridge on top of other things and goes to find Izaya. He heads to his room to unpack his pockets and is taken by surprise at a sleeping informant in his bed. 

Izaya had wrapped himself up in the sheet that Shizuo used as a blanket like a burrito and was sleeping so soundly. Shizuo gritted his teeth in irritation. Why was he in his bed when there was a perfectly blood stained couch in the living room? He could hear Izaya snoring soundly when he walked over and crouched next to his head. He couldn't believe this guy was actually betraying him, not with a face like that.

Sighing Shizuo slowly makes his way back to the dresser. He slides off his sunglasses, pulls out his phone, cigarettes and keys from his vest and quietly places them on the dresser. He fishes his wallet from his back pocket and adds that to the pile. He unbuttons the vest and shrugs it off. Letting out a massive yawn he realizes how tired he is. He slides off his shirt and replaces it with a tee. He slides off his pants and they get replaces with some sweats. 

He tosses the old clothes in a corner. He sets on the edge of the bed and pulls off his socks throwing them to the pile as well. Izaya suddenly rolled over at the rustling sound, opening his eyes, and smiled.

"Welcome home Shizu-chan." he stretched carefully as to not stretch out the stitches. "I hope you don't mind that I took your bed."

Shizuo half jumped at the voice and smiled. "Not at all. In fact I was feeling really tired from all the running around I had to do today." He walks back over to the side of the bed. He grabs the edge of the sheet and gently unrolls the informant from his makeshift burrito. 

"Wait. W-w- what are you doing?" Izaya stammers.

Shizuo smiles calmly "Getting into bed, what else? It is kinda late right?" he climbs onto the mattress and wraps up in the sheet with Izaya. "You can sleep on the couch if you want but I think us sleeping like this is better." Izaya looks lost. "Think about it. If you need something I am right here to help you."

Izaya seemed to relax at that. "I see, well in that case good night. He rolled over scooting to the edge of the bed. Shizuo smiled a wicked one of his own and pretended to fall asleep. A voice in the back of his mind was yelling at him to kick the fleas ass but why couldn't he have some fun first?

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Izaya laid there next to Shizuo confused. A few hours had gone by and he couldn't sleep at all. What had gotten into him? Could have figured out his plan to drive him insane? There was no way. Shizuo was not smart enough to figure that one out he was sure. Suddenly warm arms wrapped around him and he stiffened. His whole body started to move into Shizuo. Shizuo drug him close into a warm embrace. 

Next thing he knew he was spooning with Shizuo. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't move since Shizuo seemed to have such a tight grip on him. He whispered out loud "Ummm Shizu-chan?" but the only thing that greeted him back was the sound of Shizuo breathing. So he just laid there starring into the darkness of the room. Growing more and more tired as time passed by until his eyes were too heavy too keep open. He could not deny that he felt warm and comfortable in this position but it did make his stomach churn at the thought.

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Shizuo never fell asleep, how could he when he was literally lying with the enemy? He laid there for hours feeling nauseous at Izaya being so close. Suddenly he had an idea, it was going to be disgusting but he couldn't resist. He could tell from Izayas breathing that he had yet to fall asleep. He reached over and wrapped his arm around Izaya and pulled him in close. Sure it felt gross but he knew it would drive the informant crazy and that was worth it.

He heard Izaya whisper "Ummm Shizu-chan?" but he didn't respond. Just kept holding on and enjoying the idea that Izaya might feel trapped. The flea loved to be in control but how could he control of a sleeping monster? Izaya would have no way to escape his grasp. Unfortunately for him though Izaya did fall asleep finally.

He would never admit it but he was very comfortable. Izaya was so small and slender up against him and despite his frail body he was so warm. Shizuo couldn't help it. He snuggled his face into the back of Izayas neck and let the soft breathing against his own arms eventually lull him into his own deep sleep.

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Izaya woke to light shinning in his face from a window. He felt so rested and was really comfortable. He squinted and tried to move but panicked when he realized he was caged up. He became even more panicked when he realized the cage was moving slightly. He looked behind him and felt his heart stop when he was met with Shizuos face. He quickly looked away and noticed that he was no longer wearing a shirt, but neither was Shizuo.

The warm skin on skin contact was threatening to drag him back to sleep. He didn't want to though! He tried to move a leg but they were both tangled up with Shizuos. The sudden movement must have alerted him or so he thought. His eyes grew wide with horror as he felt Shizuos member stiffen behind him. He swallowed and tried to focus on escaping. He finally managed to get a leg free but before he could feel victorious Shizuo rolled on top of him squishing him.

"Dammit you monster get off of me." he growled into the mattress. The erection dug into the back of his thigh. He turned his head over facing Shizuo and started kicking his legs but it was to no avail. Shizuo growled low in his sleep, his breath rushed against Izayas face. Shizuo threw an arm out laying it across Izayas face and Izaya stopped struggling. He laid under the weight of Shizuo for a moment before turning back to bite the forearm of his captor. At first there was no result so he bit down harder feeling his teeth break skin. 

Shizuo suddenly woke up and pushed him self up. Izaya turned as quick as he could ending up on his back now. Shizuo growled half asleep and moved one knee between Izayas legs and pressed up against Izayas privates. Izaya thought he was climbing over him to get out of bed but to his surprise Shizuo just stayed there. He had each hand by Izayas head and just hovered over him. 

Shziuo looked over and squinted at the harsh light on his face from the window and then looked back down at the informant under him. He smiled blinking his eyes slowly and bent down kissing his forehead. Before Izaya could say a word he yawned and flopped back down on his side facing away from Izaya.

Izaya was so stunned by the action all he could do was stare at the ceiling before turning over to stare at Shizuos bare back. What was that? Shizuo was definitely asleep but what was he dreaming about? He blushed recalling the erection and felt his own tug at the sweats he was wearing. He rolled over on his side to face Shizuo. He didn't want to get out of bed now.

He reached out a hand and glided his fingers across the wide plain of Shizuos back, feeling the muscle tense under the touch. He glided his fingers all the way up to the bite mark he left the day before on his neck. Gently squeezing and digging his nails in a bit he drug himself up against Shizuo. Unsure of what he was really doing he let his senses take over. He curled down and he ran his tongue up between the shoulder blades of the beast and up across the bite mark. He breath grew hot and he started to lose control of himself.

He wrapped his arm around Shizuo letting his hand rest close to the waist. He slide his hang back up slowly dragging his nails across the flesh and nibbled on his ear a bit. Shizuo let out a small moan and Izaya smiled with the ear between his teeth. He grew more and more stiff against the sleeping beast and curiosity suddenly got the better of him. Letting go of Shizuos ear Izaya leaned up a bit on one elbow running his other hand down Shizuos front again. 

He leaned over so that he could watch the side of Shizuos face. Shizuo frowned in his sleep and let out another moan. Izaya watched his face and his hand continued on it's journey. When he reached the lining of the sweat pants he glanced down. He then let his hand invade and find it's target. Shizuo cock was so stiff it wasn't hard to grip it. He swallowed and pressed himself up against the beast and let out a soft groan of his own. He could fell his own erection dig into Shizuo. Shizuo began to let out a low growl and Izaya quickly retracted his hand. 

He curled back up against Shizuo cursing himself for losing control. What if he had woken up? How would he explain this? Suddenly his body was racked with a massive yawn and he stretched out against Shizuo. He let his stomach line Shizuos back. He realized that he was still tired. This was not like him. None of this was like him. He usually woke around the same time everyday, right before the sun revealed itself on the horizon. He would normally be up typing away on his computer and drinking his coffee by now. For some reason he just could not get himself out of this bed or away from this man. 

He gently wrapped one of his arms over Shizuo and snuggled up against the warm skin. He let is own body absorb the warmth and started to drift off to sleep once again. Ignoring the erection that was still his he let the warmth of Shizuo take him away. What would a few more hours do?

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Shizuo awoke from a dream. It was dream he dare not share with anyone and it terrified him. It was a dream that most would consider a nightmare but he held on to it for a moment. Stretching to get up he stiffened as he felt an arm around him. He reached up and grasped the arm holding on to him. He realized his shirt was missing as his fingers grazed his own chest. It did get really warm last night so he probably just removed it. He wasn't used to having anyone else sleep next to him.

He gently moved the arm off of him and rolled over to look at Izaya snoozing next to him. His face grew hot when he seen Izaya wasn't wearing a shirt either. Did Izaya know? He smiled to himself. Izaya would be disgusting to find out this information. He reached over and rubbing his head he woke Izaya up.

"Oi flea, want breakfast?" he said gently.

Izaya yawned and blinked a few times before nodding with a sly smile. "Did you have good dreams Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo sat up rather quick and turned away red faced. "Who could dream well with you next to them?"

Izaya stretched and ran a hand up Shizuos back. Shizuo shuddered at the touch "Oh Shizu-chan who couldn’t?"

Shizuo gained control and turned back to him. "Well you must have slept good and felt pretty safe next to the monster if you took off your shirt in the middle of the night."

Izaya huffed "Shut up Protozan. Your like a damn furnace!"

Shizuo got up laughing, he grabbed his shirt off the floor by the bed and stretched, padding across the room to grab his cigarettes of the dresser. He lit one up and headed to the bathroom. He shut the door and he relieved himself, flushed the cigarette butt down the toilet and then went to wash his face and brush his teeth. When he leaned over to spit he noticed the bite mark on his neck was now dotted with tiny crescents.

He rubbed it eyeing it curiously. Maybe he scratched it in his sleep? His face grew red as he recalled part of his dream. Izaya had been whispering promises into his skin, gently nibbling up his chest to his neck to his ear. He shook his head clear of the dream and walked out of the bathroom. 

Izaya was at the bar waiting. When he heard Shizuo come out he turned and waved. "What is for breakfast now?" 

Shizuo rubbed his neck and looked over at him "Did you do something to me in my sleep flea?"

Izaya smiled and cocked his head to the side. "No why? What would I do to you in your sleep? Are you hoping I might have?"

Shizuo stomped passed him grinding his teeth "Fuck off. Just though maybe you tried to kill me or something. Let me make you something to eat. Eggs?" He got a pan and placed it on the stove turning it on.

"So long as you leave the shell out this time I might try it." he chuckled. "Perhaps it's because monsters like to eat crunchy things?"

Shizuo growled into the fridge and seen the container he purchased yesterday. He pulled it out with the eggs. "Oh hey I bought you something yesterday!" He sat the box down and Izaya gleamed. He grabbed a bowel and milk. "Gonna make scrabbled eggs this time. Thought they might be easier for you to eat." he cracked some eggs into a bowl, added some milk and a pinch of salt.

Izaya started to open the box with excitement. "Scrambled is fi- What the hell!" Izaya screamed and threw the box across the kitchen falling backwards from the bar. He crashed into the floor with a loud thud and Shizuo started laughing. He was in the middle of mixing the eggs but had to stop to grab his side from laughing so hard.

"Oi flea!? What was that sound you just made?" all that responded was a miserable groan. "Flea?" Shizuo tossed a bit of butter into the pan on the stove and walked around to the other side of the bar. Izaya was on his back rubbing his head. Shizuo picked up the stool and helped Izaya up. 

Izaya glared at him "Why would you get me a dead fish!? I told you I hate them!" He climbed back onto the stool. Shizuo almost thought he could see steam coming from his ears. "Here I am, half dead, and you are screwing around! I though you were going to help me?"

Shizuo had made his way back to make the eggs. He grabbed the fish and threw it in the trash. He finished mixing the eggs and poured them into the skillet that now had melted butter in it. "Oh calm down. I though a little joke would make you feel better." Cooked the eggs and then scooped some on two plates and popped some bread in the toaster. "Toast?"

"YES. And coffee? If you can manage." Izaya eyed the eggs carefully when Shizuo set them on the bar. Shizuo poured them both some coffee and waited for the toast. Once it popped up he took the seat next to Izaya placing a piece on each of their plates.

"Hey sorry about the joke. I was just screwing around." he took a bite of the eggs thinking about his next move. He took another bite and reached a hand over to Izayas thigh. Grimacing inside at the touch but enjoying the way Izaya shot him a horrified look. Meeting his eyes he let himself bow his head a bit. "I really hope you can forgive me for all of this. I'll do everything I can to make sure you get better."

Izaya looked at the hand on his leg and back at Shizuo. He spit out some eggs and shouted "Who are you!?" he pushed the hand away and started yelling "Who the hell are you and where is my protozan!?"

Shizuo made a hurt expression and leaned his head onto Izayas shoulder. "Oh flea, I'm here, I've been here this whole time you just never realized it." he forced the smile threatening to break across his lips away. If he could make Izaya think that he felt something besides hatred for him then he was winning.

Izaya pushed him away and got up from the bar. "I need to use the bathroom…" he hobbled away and Shizuo broke character once he was in the bathroom. 

"Seriously! Fish eyes! Damn that was great. I was able to knock him over without actually hitting him!" Shizuo collected the plates and put them in the sink humming to himself. He knew his plan was working at the way Izaya was growing uncomfortable. His face said it all. He was giddy as hell over this. 

Once the kitchen was cleaned up he made them both some more coffee and sat on the couch turning the TV on. Cartoons were on and he was instantly engrossed in it. He never even heard Izaya come out of the bathroom and sit next to him. Izaya only made himself known when he chuckled at the TV. Shizuo glanced over and was surprised to see Izaya enjoying himself.

"I didn't know you enjoyed cartoons flea." he said in between laughs.

"Normally I don't but for some reason the idea of that human not being able to catch and kill that rabbit is quiet entertaining. You know I love watching humans and in a way this man with the speech issue is a human right?" Izaya laughed a little too hard at something on the screen, but Shizuo missed it because he couldn't tear his eyes away from Izaya.

He had never seen him laugh like this. There was no evil scheme behind the laugh. It was just a laugh and it rang in his ears like a song he couldn't get out of his head. He felt like he could listen to that laugh for ages even though it had belonged to the flea. He managed to look away when Izaya leaned over to get his coffee. This was not the flea he was used to. This guy seemed normal and didn't wear a mask. 

He scooted over to sit closer to Izaya and grabbed his hand to hold it. Izaya immediately stopped laughing and looked at their intertwined hands. 

"What are you doing Shizu-chan?" he tried to pull his hand away but Shizuo gripped it tighter.

"Don't." he said out loud. He didn't want Izaya to put his mask back on. Now hearing is own voice he blushed and let go himself, putting his hands in his lap in embarrassment. "Sorry I just wanted to hold your hand." That wasn't part of his plan but he was going to use it anyway. "Knowing that your brain could just fizzle out anytime makes me want to spend whatever time we have left together, closer even." 

Izaya almost spits out his coffee at that and stands up. "Shizuo! What has gotten into you!" he hobble to the kitchen to dump out his coffee having lost any appetite for the bitter liquid he was so fond of. "I don't understand you right now. Until the monster I know comes back please leave me alone." He hobbles off into the bedroom closing the door behind him. 

Shizuo shrugs and keeps watching TV. He looks back at the room after a minute and with irritated realization grumbled "Hey wait a minute. That's my room." he rolls his eyes and gets distracted again by the TV. He could yell at him later. First he needed to see if this cat would eat this bird or not.

Eventually he got up and went to the bedroom. He didn't bother knocking just walked in, it was HIS room after all. Izaya was on the edge of the mattress starring out the window. There really wasn't anything to see there but Izaya just kept starring. He didn't even turn to look at him when Shizuo sat on the bed next to him. 

"Hey you want to come back out there, sorry if I weirded you out." he said to him.

Izaya slowly turned to look at him. "Shizuo?"

"Yeah…. Wait what did you call me?" He asked. Izaya never called him by the right name…

"What time is the party?" When he asked this his eyes looked dull and lost.

"What are you talking about Flea?" he stood up and grabbed Izayas face. "Hey look at me!" 

Izayas gaze slowly rose up to Shizuos gaze and he tilted his head in his hands. Nuzzling his face into Shizuos palms "Shinra is throwing us a party for graduation tonight. I need to get ready." He moved Shizuos hands from his face smiling. He stood up and walked out leaving Shizuo to just stand there in a panic.

"What the hell. Is he faking? No way he could face a look like that right?" He walked out and Izaya was sitting on the couch watching TV as if nothing had happened. "Hey what the hell was that?"

Izaya turned and gave him a questioning look "What do you mean? I just needed some space. Goodness Shizu-chan you don't have to follow me around like that." Shizuo just stood there watching him. "What?" 

"Nothing…. Um I need to go collect the laundry from the drycleaner." he went towards the bedroom preparing to change "Do you need anything while I am out?" He leaned back out the door and Izaya shook his head no. "Alright…" After changing and getting his keys he headed out. Eager to get away for a bit and forget the lost look in Izayas eyes.

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Izaya waited until he could no longer hear the foot steps of Shizuo walking outside. He broke out into hysteric laughter. "Stupid protozan! To think be fooled that easy!" He grabbed his side in pain and he continued to shake with laughter. He had practiced that dull look for a while before Shizuo finally came to check on him. He rehearsed those lines several time to make sure he sounded completely out of it.

"Teach you to screw with me!" He grabbed the blanket from the corner of the couch and snuggled into it. Peering around the TV towards the kitchen trashcan he snuggled in deeper. Watching the cartoons and laughing to himself at the stupidity. He turned off the TV when an infomercial started to play.

He looked over at the empty seat next to him recalling the way Shizuo held his hand. He held his own hand remembering the warmth. The warmth…. He started thinking of Shizuo this morning, the warm body next to him, the taste of the skin on his tongue and then the way Shizuo hovered over him. The strong arms next to his face and the erecting that dug into him. He stretched a leg out flinching at the erection that has formed.

Cursing himself for letting his body betray his thoughts he sat up. He ran his hand over his pants across the erection. "Damn…" he looks around letting his eyes rest on the bedroom door. How long will Shizuo be gone? Probably a good while since he always got in trouble. He stood up letting the blanket pool around his feet. He walked over and locked the front door and then headed to the bedroom.

He closed the door behind him softly. He walked over and sat of the edge of the bed. He pulled off the shirt he was wearing and fell back on the mattress. He wrapped his arms around himself closing his eyes and recalling Shizuos arm around him. He let his mind wander and reached a hand down to invade his sweats. Moaning softly he grabbed his own cock. He arched his hips into the touch. 

He ran his nails across his throat letting them glide down over the bite on his collar bone, across his chest and to his thigh. He started gripping his uninjured thigh. This wasn't enough so he struggled to get his pants down to his knees and continued to stroke himself. Letting his nails dig into the flesh of his thigh. Moaning out loud at the pure thrill of jerking off in Shizuos bed.

He licked his lips and thrust his hips with the movement. Pain seared up is side but it only added to the pleasure. He closed his eyes moaning low and a bit loud but it didn't matter since he was alone. He let his hand back up his chest and dug his nails across his neck biting his lip. He started to pump harder letting his breath come out harsh and faster, faster, faster and faster.

He dared let his mind travel back to this morning. Reversing the roles it was Shizuo nibbling on his ear moaning softly into it all the ways he would break him. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Shizuo had reached a hand over and was racking his finger nails across HIS chest up to his throat. He could imagine Shizuo rolling him over and nipping from his throat down to his nipple. Pinching his nipple between two finger a loud groan escaped between his lips. "Fuck Shizu-chan right there!" 

The pumping had grown more and more intense and when Shizuo began letting the bites travel down to his side and teeth sank into his hip. Pleasure suddenly racked his body and he called out "Shizu-chan!" as his seed sputtered out into his hand. He was breathing so hard and let his hand fall down against the bed. His thighs were twitching and he could feel the sheet sticking to him underneath. He crossed the unsoiled arm over his face panting. "What the fuck." he breathed out. 

After his body calmed down he carefully leaned up to sit. He held the soiled hand out so that he wouldn’t get his mess everywhere. Looking at the mess he made a face, he needed to clean this up and rid of the evidence. He grabbed his shirt and used it to wipe himself off. He got up and grabbed the sheet to shake it out. Hopefully it would air out on it's own. Next he walked over to the window. Prying it open and then leaning out to make sure it was clear. It was just and empty alleyway. He tossed the shirt out the window and closed it. 

Hobbling over to the dresser he opened the drawer and found no shirts. "Dammit. They must all be dirty." He looked around and seen a small pile in the floor where Shizuo had changed. He grabbed the shirt the Shizuo had slept in and wriggled into it. It took some effort but he finally managed to do it. He was a little drained from his activity. 

He limped into the kitchen to fetch himself a drink. Shizuo didn't buy anything he really liked so he settled for some water from the sink. Being sure to avoid the trashcan he grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water. Being bored now he decided to grab some of the old newspapers that were in Shizuos room for a read.

He set his cup on the coffee table and went to the room. Grabbing a small pile he brought them back and scattered them on the coffee table. He starts to organize them by date. The next thing he knew he had gotten two more piles and completely organized them all by date. Eventually he has collected all of them and had them in a neat stack sorted. Shizuo would probably be irritated at this he thought pleasingly. 

Grabbing the first one he starts to read it. It's one from a two years ago. Nothing interesting really and then he sees a familiar picture. It's a broken stop sign and a small car pile up. To ordinary eyes it looks like an accident. But in the small crowd of people he sees the striking blonde head of Shizuo. He looks grim starring at the scene, frozen in time. Izaya thinks about the accident trying to remember it. 

If he remembers right from his own sources some drunk guy bumped into Shizuo causing him to lose control and rip up the stop sign giving chase to the frightened man. When Shizuo chased him a bit away the accident happened. Reading the print under the paper his heart pounded uncomfortably against his ribs. 'two women wounded, one man and three children hospitalized. The accident did not cause any casualties at this time but the man is in critical condition'.

Izaya sat the paper down and grabbed the next one. There was a similar scene but a street lamp had fallen over and crushed a car. Izaya knew this one well for he was the one who climbed the pole. Shizuo punched it causing it to fall and with Izayas cat like reflexes he had landed gracefully and took off. The caption on this one read 'A husband and wife injured in freak accident. The man has a concussion and the woman a broken arm'.

Izaya kept going through them and reading one after another. Each had a story of something Shizuo had done. Why did he keep all of these? Izaya read several feeling more and more uncomfortable. He got to one in particular and felt his heart crack in his chest. In the picture was a little girl trapped under some rubble from where the wall of a building had collapsed. It wasn't the girl that got to Izaya but in the background was Shizuo. He was standing with the crowd. Tears streaming down his face and he was shouting. Police were trying to hold him back.

Izaya also remembered this one… the girl lost her ability to walk due to her legs being crushed by the rubble. It was when he got to this story he realized with dread why Shizuo had to have kept these. He wanted a constant reminder of what he was, a real monster. He had demons that he kept in his closet and made sure to never forget them. 

Izaya sat the paper down without picking up another and wiped a tear from his face. This monster was in pain and he could feel it. Normally he would take joy in the torment of Shizuo but this was sick, even for him. All of these were accidents, just accidents. Some were his own fault and some where due to Shizuos short fuse but he never deliberately hurt anyone. Couldn't he see that? 

Izayas attention went straight to the sound of keys jingling in the door. Shizuo was back and he could tell his eyes were a bit puffy from the tears he was trying to fight. As quick as he could he wrapped the blanket around him and pretended to go to sleep. If he was lucky he could just fake being tired and Shizuo would think nothing of it.

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Shizuo walked into the cleaners and rang the bell. "Alright! I'm coming!" Morie walked out and smiled at Shizuo. "Hey there! Ready to get your crap?" he knelt down and lifted the bags from behind the counter. "Sall ready to go!" Shizuo reached out to get the bag but Morie pulled it away first. "Not so fast you got some explainin to do first!"

Shizuo sighed and went to sit back down. "Ok what do you want to know?" Morie walked around and Shizuo laughed at his bare feet. "Oi why aren’t you wearing shoes?"

Morie looked down and shrugged "I work faster without em." he took a seat next to Shizuo and pulled Izaya coat from one of the bags. "So mind telling my why you have this?" Shizuo took the coat admiring the clean job Morie did. "Yeah I know, I'm the best. Now I've known you for a while Shizuo and I can tell something is on you mind and this coat here is my proof!"

Shizuo grins "Yeah ok, your right. So the Flea, Izaya, jumped in to save my ass the other night and got real fucked up. I did everything I could to save him." Morie gasped "No it's ok, it was a close call but he pulled through." he squeezed the coat. "But I just found out that he has been lying about how bad the injury is and just staying with me to be a little shit." 

Morie laughed "Well does that really surprise you? You have told me so many stories about him so this sounds like the exact thing he would do."

"Yeah I know but…. I still pisses me off. He almost died Morie! I thought I was going to lose him…. And then when things are ok again all I want to do smash the last breath from his body. I mean he has these moments where he doesn't bug me so much but it's only short moments… usually he isn’t awake…."

Morie laughed again "Oh I remember times like that. Doris, the old lady, yeah we were the same. We drove each other crazy and when ever we tried to separate we realized we could not be with out each other."

Shizuo threw the coat to the floor "It's not like that!"

Morie leaned down to get the coat "You keep telling yourself that, you keep lying to everyone around you but just know that you can't lie to yourself, not really." he brushed to coat off and stuffed it back in the bag. "So now that you know he is faking the extremities of his injury what are you going to do?"

Shizuo smiled "Everything I can do drive him insane!" he told Morie about sleeping with him, about making him breakfast and holding his hand. Morie just gave a smile while he listened. Shizuos smile dropped when he told him about the moment where his memory had gotten strange. "I just don't know what to make of it. What if that was real and he really is fucked up?"

"You seem awfully worried about this guy for being someone you claim to hate Shizuo."

"Yeah well…. I don't know."

Morie seemed to be in deep thought and then he snapped his finger. "I've got it!" He turned to Shizuo "Tell him you have made a hospital appointment for him! Depending on how much he fights it you might get your answer on if he really is screwed up."

Shizuo though for a moment and nodded. "Yeah that just might work. If he is faking it there will be no way I can get him out of the apartment. Thanks Morie!" he stood up and went to get the bags from Morie but he didn't let go.

Morie drug him down closer "Hey Shizuo, what's that mark on your neck there?"

Shizuo instantly reached up and covered up Izaya bite. "Nothing now give me my damn laundry!"

Morie laughed like a mad man "Calm down you animal! He let go of the bags and Shizuo grumbled at him. "You sure are touchy today huh?"

Shizuo wasn't listening. "Thanks again Morie but I really gotta go!"

Morie stood up "Any time! But just know I still think you should just be honest with both him, and yourself." He gave Shizuo a wink before going back behind the counter and disappearing.

Shizuo walked out and on his way home really thought about his plans. If Izaya wasn't faking he wasn’t sure what he would do. That was a lie, he knew what he would do. He would take care of him but he'd never admit that out loud. He didn't want to admit that he would even want to take care of him. If the Flea was faking however, well, he would break his damn legs!

There was a coffee shop around the corner from the apartment building and Shizuo decided to stop by and pick up some treats. Upon entering he was greeted by several baristas. Striding to the counter he ordered two pastries. A cherry tart and a small vanilla crème cake. He wanted to get the flea a small treat just in case he was really screwed up. He smiled as he took the bag from the barista at a thought.

Getting back to the apartment Shizuo unlocked the door and called out "I'm back!" shutting the door he noticed Izaya asleep on the couch. Dropping the laundry by the door he walked over to the sleeping man and gently shook him "Oi, I brought you something."

Izaya slowly opened his eyes with a yawn. He eyes were a bit red, must be from lack of sleep last night. Shizuo smiled and then noticed the newspapers. "The fuck is this? Why were you reading these?" Shizuo slammed the treats he had purchased on the table next to them. "Hey answer me!"

Izaya looked at the papers and back at him "I was bored Shizu-chan, they were just laying in your room so I though I would organize them for you!" he went to grab the bag Shizuo slammed down. "Your apartment is so boring and I didn’t really read them. I mean why would I read some old papers? You know I am only interested in current times. Why would you keep them anyway?" 

Izaya looked so proud of himself. "I just…did no reason!" he grabbed the papers and took them back to his room. "Hey I got you something too, not fish this time I promise!" He sat the papers on the floor by the closet. He went back in the living area and sat next to Izaya who had already started to eat the cherry tart.

He rolled his eyes at Izaya "Help yourself why don't you."

"Well thank you for the treat. What is the occasion?" Izaya asked after swallowing a bite. 

"Because were celebrating your good news. You have some fruit on you face…" 

"What news?" Izaya stuck out his tongue trying to catch the fruit bit.

"Well we haven't gotten it yet but I made an appointment at the hospital for you to get a scan done! You still haven't gotten the shit on your face." Shizuo grabbed his cake and started to eat it.

Izaya looked stunned "You what? Why would you do that? I am not going to a hospital!" he tried to get the fruit again with his tongue setting the remaining tart on the table by his water.

Shizuo could not stop watching Izayas tongue slowly moving around his mouth in search of the friut and he set his cake down. "I know you hate them but after this morning what else can I do?"

"What happened this morning?" Izaya cocked his head to the side in confusion.

Shizuo ignored his question and leaned over to wipe the fruit off Izayas face. He cupped his chin with his fingers and swiped his thumb across it. He could feel Izayas saliva as his thumb glided across his face. Izaya was so stunned by the action he fell back a little and Shizuo ended up leaning on him with more weight than intended. He was going to use this to his advantage in his plan.

Pushing his head down into Izaya shoulder he spoke "Izaya. You really don't remember? You thought it was the day of our graduation party. Like in the picture." he pushed himself up and cupped Izayas chin. "I won't take no for an answer, we are going to the hospital."

Izaya swallowed and tried to push off Shizuo but he was to heavy. "I told you I am not going to the fucking hospital!"

Shizuo starred deep into his eyes and forced another sad puppy expression "But why flea? Why won't you let me take care of you?"

Izaya pushed harder wincing at the effort "I said no I don't need it!" He kicked up his right knee into Shizuos crotch. Shizuo growled in pain and fell off the couch. "You are not getting me into one of those damn machines!" He got off the couch limping over Shizuo who was curled up on the ground still growling.

"You fucking asshole! I was just trying to help! You better hope I don't catch you cause now I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!" he slowly stood up as Izaya started to limp faster to the front door. He had started to pry it open but Shizuo was too quick. He slammed his hands into it pinning Izaya between himself and the door with a loud bang.

Izaya rotated around to face Shizuo. Shizuo growled in his face "Tell me something Flea. Why the fuck are you trying to run away?" Izaya struggled against him and tried to raise his knee but Shizuo was not going to fall victim twice. He blocked it with a hand and squeezed Izayas knee cap so hard the informant gasped in pain. 

"Shizu-chan stop it that fucking hurts!" Izaya started to slid down the door taking Shizuo with him. He began to cry in panic "Please don't do this!"

Shizuo let go at the plea. They were both on the ground now with Izayas legs splayed out and his back against the door. Shizuo was on his knees straddling one of Izayas legs. "Tell me the truth you shit bag."

Izaya wiped away his face and sniffed. "I don't like not being in control of myself. Being in one of those machines you lose all control. Being in the hospital in general, they pump you full of drugs and let you lay there… No I wont fucking do it! I WONT!" He threw his head against the door tears streaming down his face. "You can't force me!"

Shizuo was at a loss for words. He had never seen Izaya like this. Could this really be fake? He reached out and brushed a tear from his cheek. No there was no way this wasn’t real. Instead of saying anything he stood up and scooped Izaya off the floor. 

"Wait Shizu-chan what are you doing!?' Izaya cried out in shock and a little in pain as he was folded up. 

Shizuo didn't say anything. His thoughts were all over the place and he needed to think. He had never seen the flea break down like that and he didn't think something like that could be faked. This man in his arms was not the same man that he had spent years chasing through the streets. 

He carried Izaya over to the couch and dumped him gently. "Hey. It's fine I wont make you go. Please don’t leave though." He wasn't really sure what he was expecting Izaya to do or say so he just turned around and went to his room. He shut the door behind him and went to sit on his bed and tried to make sense of the world.

He hated Izaya right? No. He wanted to see him being tormented right? Yes but not in the way that he had just witnessed. He was pretty sure the Flea had faked the confusion this morning. He clenched his fists at the thought. What was his next move? Should he just come right out and say it. Say it and end this whole charade? Tell him he knows that he is only staying here to fuck with him? That would mean Izaya would leave though right? He didn't want that either. He didn't know what he wanted anymore!

He balled his fists into his hair and fought a scream. What the hell did he want!? Was Morie right about everything!? He knew he didn't hate him, other wise why save him? He knew he gave a shit about him, other wise why would he let him stay here? He knew Izaya was just doing all of this to piss him off but it wasn't pissing him off anymore. It was leaving him lost and confused. He was at a war with himself and he didn't know if he wanted to win or lose. 

He fell back and shut his eyes. He remembered waking up this morning next to the warm body and he didn't even flinch. He remembered they way Izaya looked in his sleep and the way he laughed at the cartoon on the tv. He remembered Izaya stumbling out of the bathroom lost in the clothes and in need of help. He laughed out loud at that memory. He had collected so many GOOD memories of Izaya over the last two days and he didn't want to stop yet. That was something he knew.

He remembered the dream that he had. The look in Izayas eyes as he kissed his chest, peering up at him as he slowing made his way up to his lips. He could still feel the cool hands grasping his face as their lips made contact and their tongues battled it out. That may have been just a dream but it felt so real and he would never say it out loud but he enjoyed it. 

Something in his chest was hurting. It was a new emotion that he had no idea what to do with. It wasn't the rage and anger he was used to. He wasn't really sure what it was just that it was new. He let out a long sigh and wondered what Izaya was feeling. Suddenly there was a small knock on the door. Shizuo sat up quickly. "Come in" he called out. 

Izaya opened the door and limped inside. His eyes were still red from the crying. "I swear if you tell anyone about that I will destroy you." he limped over and sat next to Shizuo. "It was a small moment of weakness that I have never shared with anyone and for some reason I let it out around you."

"Yeah of course. Look I didn't know that you were afraid of something like that so I am sorry. The fish thing was on purpose but not that one." Izaya wasn't looking at him. Shizuo followed his gaze to the newspapers on the floor.

"Shizu-chan. Since you discovered something about me I think you should share something in return." he said it to Shizuo but never looked at him. "It's only fair don’t you think?"

Shizuo absent mindedly reached up and touched the bite mark on his neck growing hot. Recalling the last time the flea said something similar "What do you want to know?" he knew what Izaya wanted but he was hoping that he could avoid it. Maybe Izaya wouldn't ask but it was Izaya and he didn't tread lightly with anyone. 

"Why did you really keep those newspaper all these years?" this time Izaya turned and faced Shizuo. Even though his eyes were a tad puffy it still made Shizuo uncomfortable. His rusted eyes seemed to go all the way into Shizuos mind and he wondered for a moment if he even needed to answer. "Shizu-chan?" 

Shizuo had to look away in fear that Izaya could read his thoughts and might dig up other things he wasn't willing to share right now. "I keep them so I wont forget." 

"Forget what Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo gulped and clenched his fists in his lap "Forget the people I damaged. The people I hurt by being here."

"Why do you stay here then?" Izaya asked.

"I know that mind sound stupid. I know could always leave but where would I go?" he looked back at Izayas whos expression was unreadable. "I have been here in Ikebukuro for so long that most people know me and know to stay away." Nodding at the newspapers he kept on "But some people still get caught in the cross fires."

He flinched when Izaya spoke "Tell me about Meredith."

Shziuo felt like the room was starting to tilt. "What?" 

Izaya scooted closer to him "You know who I am talking about. Have you talked to ANYONE about it?"

Shizuo shook his head slowly. "No… People already think I am a monster…"

Izaya shook his head "You can't bottle things like this up Shizu-chan it isn't healthy."

Shizuo turned a sad glare on him "Why can't I bottle it up? It's been this way for years so why can't it stay this way?!"

Izaya cleared his throat "Fine I'll start. Meredith was a little girl who was crushed by-"

Shizuo put his hand over Izayas mouth "Please stop…" Tears were sliding down his cheek.

Izaya pulled his hand away from his face. "I can't. I need you to tell me."

Shizuo sniffed and as he spoke he felt like every word was breaking him. "I was chasing this guy who had tried to rob an elderly woman. He ran into a small building that was for sale" his voice started to shake "I chased him in and we started to brawl. He stabbed me with a knife and I slammed him into the wall. No big deal, but I didn't know the building was so weak and I-I-I- busted him right through the wall."

He was trembling and Izaya moved his hand to cross his arm over Shizuos shoulders and pull him over. "Keep going." he whispered.

He wasn't sure if he could. He shook his head no and leaned his head on Izaya trembling "I didn't mean to. I didn't know." He let out a small whimper "The wall collapsed onto the little girl crushing her legs and permanently taking away her ability to walk!" he was shaking so hard now. "I tried to help but the police wouldn't let anyone get close. No matter how much I screamed and begged they wouldn't let me help."

"Shizu-chan you have to know it was an accident. You can't fault yourself for that or anyone of those incidents" Izaya tried to calm him down but Shizuo wouldn't have it. 

"I was my fault" 

"And the police?" Izaya pressed him further. "What did they say?"

Shizuo crumbled down "That it was a freak accident and no one was at fault. The elderly lady whose purse was napped spoke on my behalf and that was it. Nothing else came of it." He pushed Izaya off and stood up facing the informant screaming as loud as he could. "TO HELL WITH THAT! IT WAS MY FAULT! ANY OTHER NORMAL HUMAN WOULDN'T HAVE BUSTED THAT WALL AND SHE WOULD BE OK!" He stood there huffing. After a moment of silence he whispered, barely loud enough for Izaya to hear. "Isn't this what you’ve been trying to tell me all along?"

Izaya stood up and reached out to grasp Shizuos face. "That you are a monster? Yes. But even monsters can cause ACCIDENTS." he said. 

"You don't understand what it's like…" he whispered out loud. "Living everyday with this anger and knowing the people you hurt would be doing fine if you weren’t around." he pulled away from Izaya "If I was never born people would be so much better off…"

Izaya shook his head "But that isn't true. You have friends and family that care about you. And what about me?"

Shizuo looked confused "You?"

"Yes me. Who would provide me with such entertainment if you weren’t around?" 

He grabbed Izayas hands from his face and moved them off. "That's fucked up…"

"You think about that Shizu-chan. Instead of thinking about the people that are better of think of those who are worse. I am going to go grab a shower now." Izaya started to the door.

"Izaya?" Shizuo called out to him.

Izaya turned around a smiled "I'm not leaving I promise. I'll be back." and then he walked out closing the door behind him. 

Shizuo stood there for a moment feeling his heart breaking in his chest. He changed out of his clothes. Not bothering with a shirt this time he grabbed the last pair of sweats from the drawer and pulled them on. He crawled under the bed sheet and curled into a ball. Why had Izaya pressed and pushed him on this? He never wanted to talk about it. Wasn't remembering it enough? This was cruel torture even for Izaya…

Maybe this time Izaya wasn't trying to torture him. Izaya looked like he actually gave a damn if that was possible. He started to cry again. He didn't deserve anyone to give a damn though. Not after the things he had done. Even having someone as shitty as the flea PRETEND to care was too much. His eyes were hurting and he felt so tired. He curled tighter into his ball. Maybe if he could just sleep he would the pain in his chest would go away.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izaya left Shizuo in his room and headed to the bathroom. He walked in and slowly took off his shirt. He slid off his sweats and climbed in the shower. He turned on the water without waiting for the water to heat up. He winced at the cold spray but he didn't move. He let it wash away the grief that was Shizuo. "Monster do cry…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we talk about how much I laughed at the though of Shizuo just throwing someones grocery cart? I realized I think I forgot to have someone put away Shizuo's medical supplies. We are going to just assume that one of them did. I also got a little too into Izaya's masterbation but I am not sorry. At all. Thanks again for staying with me and reading my story! I will try to post next week but I have a convention that weekend and it may be an extra week wait. I'll do my best to post it though!


	5. A Puzzling Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo and Izaya seem to be both having their own private battle with their emotions. Little do they know it's the same fight. The only difference is that one of them is no longer fighting with themselves over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I hope you enjoy this chapter I had a lot of fun with it! Sorry if I made it too long or if there are errors. I have so much written in advance and the proof reading takes so long and the of course I get carried away and add even more to it! I can't help it though it's my favorite ship of all time. 
> 
> Thanks again for the wonderful comments. I save all of them to look at every now and then. Your kind words keep me going.

After the water had warmed up he still just stood there. He thought and he thought. Replaying everything in his head, from his breakdown to Shizuos. He punched the wall "FUCK! It isn't supposed to be like this!" He hit the wall again. "I am supposed to hate you!" he kept telling himself that over and over just hate, hate and hate but he couldn't make himself believe it anymore. If he hated him then why would he comfort him like that?

He scrubs shampoo into his hair. Why would Shizuos breakdown be upsetting him so much? Why the fuck did he care!? He wanted the monster broken right? No. He scrubbed harder with frustration. Everything seemed to have flipped upside down. He rinsed out the soap feeling it glide down his back as he came to terms with himself over this. If he didn't want to break him then what did he want now?

He grabbed the bar of soap and started to run it over his skin. Izaya was not the type of person to lie to himself. He knew that he was slowly developing a strong emotional feel for Shizuo but he didn't know what to do with these feelings. They weren’t something he was used to having. Every time he pictured Shizuos crying face his heart burned in his chest. For the first time he didn't want to break him, he wanted to fix him.

This all felt so wrong to him. He was supposed to want to drive Shizuo mad, to break and bend him to his own will. Shziuo never did what he wanted that was true but at least he felt like he was able to control him a little bit. Now with these feeling surfacing how was he going to do that? So many questions seemed to dance in he head with so few answers pissed him off. 

He reached for the nob to turn of the water and stopped. All of the questions seemed to scatter leaving one that seemed to be clawing it's way out of his mouth. "These feelings developed so fast… how long have I really felt this way?" he said out loud. He covered his mouth horrified. 

Not just that he said this out loud but also at the answer that threatened to escape his lips. Love at first sight was a bullshit term to him. You didn't just look at someone and said "Oh I love this person" no fucking way. You spent time getting to know them first. You might think they are attractive at first and that’s ok but you don’t LOVE them right away. He tried to remember the first time he had seen Shizuo. Shit he didn't even really have to try.

He was walking down the hall way and passing the door to the principals office. Not sure what it was, the shouting, the pleading or the striking blonde hair that caught his attention. Making sure no one was watching he peered into the room to see the Principal pointing angrily at the young man who in turn was looking at the floor ashamed. 

The young man had striking blonde hair and seemed so scrawny. Upon closer but careful inspection his face was very handsome. He had dirt brown eyes that seemed filled with shame but were still laced with anger. Izaya squinted slightly at the inspection of his hands that where balled against his sides. These hands where slightly bruised yet he could still see the strength in them. 

"Mr. Heiwajima, you destroyed two lockers and shattered the door to the AP club…" the prinicpal reached up and pinched his nose. "We can't keep doing this."

The blondes face shot up "Please sir give me another chance! I'll try harder!"

"I know this has been hard for you but you have to get your anger in control. One more slip up and I will have to take more action. This could result in expulsion, do you understand that?" The blond nodded his head. "Good. Now in the mean time you are going to help fix what you broke over the next week in detention." 

Izaya cocked his head to the side in wonder. What would cause someone so much anger that they just broke things? Could this guy really destroy two lockers and a door? It was hard to imagine.

"Mr. Heiwajima what did Mr. Todoki say to you to make you so mad?" the principal asked as he handed him a red slip.

The blond looked back at the floor and muttered. "He didn’t really say anything…" The boy looked up at the principal and Izaya fought a gasp at the rage in his eyes. "He took my pudding…"

Pudding? That is what mad him so violently angry that he did those things? Izaya wanted to laugh but the rage in the guys eyes had him frozen like a statue. He had never seen so much rage in his entire existence and it made his spine tingle in such a blissful way. 

The principal looks unsurprised and instead of getting mad he laughs. "Last week you threw the vending machine through the wall of the art room because it was out of strawberry Pocky." He placed a hand on the blondes shoulder. "This is what I am talking about. I know that you have so much potential and that is why you are still here but again, we can't keep having this talk."

"I understand sir. I will do my best to not break anything." he turns to leave.

Izaya had ducked away and walked further down the wall pausing as the Blonde walked by fast with his head down. He never took notice of Izaya who just watched him disappear down around the corner to the cafeteria. He smiled to himself. What an interesting fellow.

"Ah Mr. Orihara, what brings you out from your studies?" the Principal had come up to Izaya. 

"Good afternoon sir. I was just passing through to get a snack." He beamed at the prinicpal who nodded in approval. 

"Will we be seeing you later at the math competition?" the principal asked eagerly.

Izaya looked back to the cafeteria and ignored the question. Instead he gave one of his own "What can you tell me about that Heiwajima person who just left your office?"

The prinicpal shook his head "Nothing really good. I can't even say for sure that he is a human boy but there is something I can see in him that needs to be nurtured before it consumes him…. Oh sorry Mr. Orihara I believe I have misspoken about one of my students."

Izayas smile grew wide "Oh no no it is quite alright. I apologize but I don't think I will make it to that competition today. Something just came up." 

Before the principal could say a word he skipped away. He had found a new subject to study and he was going to do everything he could to see that look again. And as the years went by that is exactly what he did. He did what ever he could, which wasn't very much, to get that look out of him and feel that sensation.

The principal had called him into his office a few weeks later to talk about it. 

"Mr. Orihara you have to stop this. I know you are enjoying yourself but I can't keep letting Mr. Heiwajima off the hook just because you are our top student. If this keeps up."

Izaya leaned forward in his chair across the desk and glared at the principal. "Stop right there. I will say this one last time. If you rid of him you rid of me. You can kiss your 'perfect' student goodbye." The principal looked a little afraid "Give him all the detention you want, give him all the chores but don't you dare send him away or that is it."

"But Mr. Orihara I am running out of excuses and reasons to keep him here. If he keeps destroying this building and costing us money like this it will no longer be up to me!"

Izaya sat back and pondered for a moment. "Fine. I will do what I can to minimize the damage to the school."

The principal seemed satisfied "That is all I ask."

He reached down to shut the water off and climbed from the tub. He glanced down at his wounds and knew they should be checked. He touched the wound in his side. It did seem to be healing well but he wanted to have it bandaged up again.

He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked out. Before he went into the bedroom he noticed his shoes by the couch. He made his way to them and took them over by the door. Here he noticed that his socks had been neatly tucked inside. Shizuo was so considerate to keep his things together. Then he noticed his ripped up shirt in the corner… well mostly considerate. 

He went into the bedroom and found Shizuo still curled up in a ball. It looks like he cried himself to sleep. Izaya opened the dresser to get some fresh clothes but all that was left was a pair of shorts. He opened the next two drawers and all that was there were some of Shizuos bartender vests and a few dress shirts. The bottom drawer was some underwear and socks. A few bow ties were rolled up in the corner. He settled for a dress shirt and the shorts, too lazy to walk back to get the clean laundry.

He sat on the edge of the bed struggling with the shorts but he managed to finally get them to his thighs before standing to pull them on fully. Even with them pulled up they hung off his hips threatening to fall down. He sat quickly and pulled on the shirt. This was much easier since he didn’t have to slid it over his head. He buttoned it up and the walked to the side of the bed where Shizuo was facing. 

He nudge the sleeping man "Hey Shizu-chan?" he called softly. Shizuo didn’t stir. Izaya sighed and knelt down slow. The stitches tugging tight but he ignored it. He brushed some golden hair from Shizuos face and then rested his head on the pillow by Shizuos head. He could feel Shizuo breathing on his face and once again his heart burned. 

It felt like static flowing through him from his chest, branching out to his hands, feet and head. He sucked in a breath and it was almost painful in his chest. "Shizu-chan I just don't know anymore maybe I'm just tired….." he lets out a massive yawn and then a light chuckled when Shizuo winced at the breath rushing against his face. "You know it's really dangerous when you make a face like that right?" he moved his face close enough that their lips are almost touching. He can feel Shizuos breath hot on his lips and he makes contact. It's a short gentle kiss, lingering just long enough for his lips to tingle. 

He pulls away and lays his head back down for a moment. Closing his eyes he lets his heart out for a brief moment. "Love…what is it really? Is it the burning sensation I get in my chest when I see you? Is it the tingling when our skin touches? What ever it is how long before I can't hide it anymore?"

Opening his eyes he stares at Shizuo closed eyes. "I've been trying to figure out how long I have felt this way. When it happened and why but I can't find the answer. The only thing I can come up with is that it had to be for a long time if over these last few days it has decided to make itself known so completely." he laughed. "I won't ever lie to myself about the way I feel. It's stupid and pointless but with you what should I do? If I told you would you simply kill me then and there?"

With a heavy sigh he gets up and limps over to the other side of the bed climbing in. He scooted close to Shizuo and wraps an arm around him. Trying to pull him close but he can't. He doesn't feel like this little bit of contact is enough. He reached between themselves and raises up the back of Shizuos shirt and then the front of his own. He presses their skin together shivering at the contact.

He nuzzles his face into Shizuos neck, breathing in his scent. "I guess this explains my need to constantly have you give chase huh?" he closes his eyes listening to Shizuos gently breaths, feeling their skin touch and move gently with the breathing he falls asleep. 

Cold. He feels so cold and it stirs him from his slumber. Reaching out for Shizuo his hand falls onto the empty bed. Groaning his opens his eye instantly throwing a hand up to shield his face from the harsh morning light from the window. He rolls over on his back and his mouth falls open at a naked Shizuo facing away from him.�  
Shizuos hair was wet and his back was glistening so he must have just taken a shower. Izaya dared not speak incase he were to startle him. Instead he just watched as Shizuo bent over the dresser to pull out some underwear. The muscles in his back moving under the skin made Izaya swallow hard. Shizuo backed into the bed to sit down. It was taking everything he had not to sit up and stroke his bare back.

Shizuo stood back up and turned around. Izaya quickly closed his eyes and heard Shizuo mumble something that didn’t really sound like words. He hear him open another drawer and curse at the lack of pants. Izaya opened his eyes again and fought a laugh as Shizuo scratched his head. This time he could not control himself.

"Sorry Shizu-chan I took the last pair of bottoms." he let a hint up pleasure mix into his voice.

Shizuo spun around and glared at Izaya "How long have you been awake flea?" 

"Long enough." he pretended to yawn and stretched out eyes falling on the bulge between Shizuos legs. He let his eyes travel up over the tight muscles and met Shizuos angry glare with a smile. 

Shizuo seemed to suddenly realize was only in his underwear and quickly snatched his towel off the floor to cover himself. "Hey what the hell are you looking at!?" 

Izaya let out a laugh and shrugged "Nothing much. Don't be mad at me though! You're the one that was naked." His smile widened as Shizuos face grew red. He rolled out of the bed and started walking over to Shizuo.

Shizuo turned to leave "Fuck you. I'm gonna go start making breakfast."

Izaya stroked Shizuos neck where he bit him and said "Ah ah ah. I am not eating your disgusting excuse for eggs again. No this time I'll make breakfast" he slid past Shizuo feeling a tingle of joy run trough him as Shizuo slammed the door behind him. Laughing out loud he walked to the kitchen. He noticed the bag of laundry by the door and smiled. Shizuo would have to come out here for it.

"Bring me the laundry!" Shizuo shouted from his room.

Izaya called back "Sorry I can't hear you Shizu-chan!" 

"You fucking bastard!" Shizuo shouted back.

Izaya walked into the kitchen and dug out a pan from the bottom cabinet. He searched for some mixing bowls and grabbed eggs, bread and butter. Placing them on the counter by the stove he set the pan on a burner, popped in some butter and flipped in on low. He turned to crack some eggs in a bowl and opened the bread. 

Shizuo strode out of the bedroom cursing up a storm. Izaya looked up from mixing the eggs and smiled. Shziuo hadn't even bothered to cover himself up. He had one of his white dress shirts on all the buttons undone. It was quite a sight. He glared at Izaya after grabbing the laundry and taking it to the couch.

"Stop fucking looking at me!" he growled.

"Once again Shizu-chan there is nothing much to look at so don't worry." he smiled from across the bar.

Shizuo threw the bag on the couch and didn't turn to face him "Keep it up and I'll make sure you have to eat that breakfast through a fucking straw."

Izaya shrugged and added cinnamon, vanilla and sugar into the mixture. Dipping in some bread he threw them on the burner with a sizzle. The smell came floating through the apartment and Shizuo perked up from the couch. He tugged on some sweats and walked over to investigate.

Izaya never looked up but asked "Would you start some coffee?"

"Sure" Shizuo replied. He filled up the pot and scooped in some coffee grounds into the filter. "What are you making? It smells good…." he walked up behind Izaya to peer over him at the stove. The smell of coffee began to mingle with the cinnamon.

"Ever hear of French toast?" he replied. He scooped a slice onto a plate and started the next one. He made several before he moved the plate to the bar. "Do you want scrambled eggs? Don't worry. They won't be crunchy."

TCH! "Yeah what ever."

Izaya poured a new egg mixture into the pan and begun scrambling eggs. Shizuo grabbed another plate and divided the French toast between them. He grabbed some syrup and two forks. He set the bar up for the to eat before moving on to get them both some coffee. He sat at the bar and went to eat but before he could stab a fork in the food Izaya slapped his hand away. "What the hell?"

"I can't believe you were going to eat with out me! I'm the one making the food!" Izaya said. He dumped eggs on each of the plates and set the pan in the sink. He walked around to take a seat next to Shizuo. "Now you can eat."

Shizuo poured syrup on the toast and growled but as soon as the food was in his mouth he instantly shut up. Mumbling around a mouthful he exclaimed "This is fucking amazing." 

Izaya slapped him on the back. "I know. Now stop talking with your mouth full and just eat." 

They both ate in silence. Shizuo finished much faster than Izaya and he wondered if he even really tasted the food. When Shizuo finished he got up and started to clean up, collecting Izayas plate when he had finished. "Um thanks for making breakfast…"

"Well I really didn't want to risk salmonella again." Izaya smirked. 

Shizuo rolled his eyes "Look, I can't cook I know. You don't have to be a prick about it."

Izaya crossed his arms "Oh I know I don't have to but it's much more fun that way!" he clapped his hands. "Now what are we doing today?"

Shizuo sighed "I don't know? You could always leave?"

Izaya looked hurt "Ouch. Oh but I do know one thing we can do! You can help me clean my injuries!" Shizuo didn’t look thrilled. "If you help me I'll teach you how to cook that steak you bought." Shizuo though about it and nodded in agreement. "Good then it's settled. Now lets go." He grabbed Shizuos hand and took him to the bathroom.

"Go ahead and take off your shirt." he order Izaya while digging under the sink for some bandages. 

Izaya smiled "Of course. But try not to stare, I have A LOT more to look at than you."

Shizuo hit his head under the sink. He got up and when to yell at Izaya but couldn’t because Izaya was smiling and letting out little giggles. "Stop smiling!" Shizuo grumbled with his facing turning another shade of red.

Izaya loved the anger that he could pry out of Shizuo with just a look. He started to unbutton the shirt he was wearing and shrugged it off. He sat down on the toilet seat and twisted to look at his side. Shizuo placed his hands around the wound and leaned in to look at it. Izaya started to feel hot under his gaze and his skin tingled under his fingers.

"Wow this actually looks like it is healing up really well. I don't really think we need to do anything with it. I mean you've been with out the bandages and seem to do just fine." He said. He moved up and looked at Izayas chest where the needle was. He brushed a finger over the small cut "Hey, have you had any trouble breathing since we took that needle out?"

Izaya could hear fear in his voice and replied "No. Stop worrying about it. You need to check my leg now." He pushed Shizuos hand off his chest feeling his own face turning a new shade of color. His heart felt like is was trying to escape from his chest. 

"Fine take off your shorts for me." Shizuo stood up.

Izaya went to take off his shorts. "Ummmm don't look" he grabbed a towel from the rack and placed it on his lap. He let the shorts fall off and then said "Ok you can look…"

Shizuo knelt down and began to look at the stitch job here. He lifted the towel up to uncover the leg wound. "You know I've seen you naked plenty of times this week?" Izaya hit him on the head "Calm down! Hey this wound looks ok too. You sure you're a human yourself?" When he looked up Izaya looked away. 

"The only one who might not be human here is you!" he grumbled. Shizuo stood up to leave. "Hey. Thanks for checking them for me." 

"Yeah what ever." Shizuo closed the door leaving. 

Izaya moved the towel and got redressed. He hadn't fainted since that first day but right now he felt like the room was wobbly. All he could think about was Shizuos hands on his body. The heat that seemed to still linger on him was too much. He went for the door knob pausing as he could hear Shziuo talking on the phone. Pressing his ear to the door he tried to listen.

"Yeah Tom I know I'm sorry. I need a few more days off though. What? Yeah I seen it on the news. No nothing is wrong." there was long pause and Izaya thought maybe he hung up. "No I'm not in trouble or anything. I just had something to take care of." Izaya felt his heart stutter at the lie. "It's nothing important really I just need a few more days that's all and then things can go back to normal."

Normal….. Izaya wondered what that was. Was there a normal that he himself could return to? He didn't think so anymore but apparently Shizuo had a normal that HE could go back to. "I see. So it's just me that is battling with himself here…." he murmured. He listened for a little longer while Shizuo went on to talk about the Groundhog.

"Yeah it pissed me off at first to think that I was just being used but knowing that piece of shit is off the streets is a little better." Izaya didn't care anymore. He opened the door and Shizuo looked at him holding up a finger as if to say "I'll just be a moment." but Izaya didn't care. He walked to the bedroom and shut the door a little harder than needed.

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Shizuo hung up the phone shortly after Izaya had gone into the bedroom. Why did he slam the door? Shizuo walked to the front door and grabbed his keys that were hanging. He walked out and got on the elevator to go to the lobby. A burly looking woman in a red bell hop dress was behind the counter. She was very large and had ginger hair. Her hair looked like she was put upside down in a blender, patches here and there missing and bits were sticking out. She eyes him suspiciously as he walked by to the row of mailboxes on the wall.

He popped a key in and open the box. Inside were a few letters and bills. He shut the little door and walked back to the elevator not bothering to look at the attendant. He paused at the elevator when he found a postcard from Kasuka. Looks like he had been traveling to America for a movie. The post card was from Tennessee, there was a picture of bears on the front. One was brown the other black and they were fighting. He chuckled because they reminded him of himself and Izaya. The card read 'Seen this and it made me think of you. Hope you are doing well brother.' So simple, so Kasuka.

He made his way back to the apartment and when he walked in Izaya was still shut up in the room. He placed the mail on the bar with his keys and went to the bedroom. He didn't knock but just let himself in. Izaya was laying on the bed starring up at the ceiling. When Shizuo walked in he didn't bother looking up just spoke out loud. "What do you think normal is Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo didn't really know what to say so he just sat down and starting rambling what ever came into his head. "Normal? Is there really such a thing?" Izaya didn't respond so he just continued. "I guess normal for me is collecting money from strangers and breaking things all while trying to kick you ass." 

Izaya sat up and curled his legs into his chest. He rested his cheek on he knees looking at Shizuo. Shizuo moved to sit next to him against the wall. Izaya didn't really look at him but said "I guess that is it then huh?" he murmured. 

"What do you mean flea?" but Izaya wouldn't look at him. He nudged him a little to try to get his attention and was greeted back with a hard punch to the gut "Oi what the fuck!?" He growled. He grabbed Izayas arm and held him up. "Talk to me!" he yelled at him. Izaya glared at him. "I can't understand why you are upset if you won't talk to me flea."

Izaya tried to pull away but Shizuo had a good grasp. "Nothing is wrong protozan!" When Shizuo still wasn't letting go he tried to hit him with his other hand but Shizuo caught this one and held it up so that he was holding both of Izayas arms up. Izaya tried to kick this time. "Let me go! I said there is nothing wrong!"

"Obviously there is otherwise you wouldn't have slammed the door and wouldn't be trying to hit me!" Izaya was not talking but instead turned away. "Izaya…." all that came from Izaya was a loud exaggerated huff. "Fine don't fucking talk to me!" He dropped Izayas arms and went to get up. 

Suddenly thin arms grabbed him around the waist and he looked back. Izaya had buried his head in his back. "Don't go." he said into his back. Shizuo positioned himself back up against the wall. Izaya shuffled to let his head rest in Shizuos lap while still holding onto him. "I just… I just don't feel well right now. Ok?" 

Shizuo wasn't sure what to do so he just ran his hand through the crow feather hair. He relaxed a little at the confession of not feeling well and then started to wonder if this was a trick. "What's wrong? Is it your head again or something else?" 

"I don't know. I just want to lay here for a little bit please." Izaya said. 

Shizuo shrugged. If Izaya was screwing with him what could this hurt if he was aware of it? He started to rub the informants back and Izaya let out a soft moan. He decided to take it a step further. He could screw with Izaya this way too. "Hey flea, since you don't feel good let me rub your back."

Izaya let go of Shizuo and sat up peering into his eyes. "Rub my back? Like a massage?" Shizuo nodded. Izaya tilted his head in wonder. "Can you do that?"

Shizuo banged his head into the wall "If your asking 'can a monster massage someone without cracking their spine' then yes I can." He stood up and went to the pile of junk by the closet. He knelt down and started rummaging. "Hey take off your shirt." he found a bottle of lotion on the floor, it was a Cherry Blossom scent. Izayas eyes widened when he turned around with it. "Oh relax it's just lotion. Would you trust me for once."

Izaya sat up and began to fumble with the buttons on his shirt. Shizuo sat back down on the bed next to him. It looked like Izayas hands were shaking so he grabbed them. "Here let me do it. You don't feel well and it's making your hands shake to much." He grasped the top button between his fingers and gently pried it free. He did this with all of the next few feeling Izayas gaze on him. "Calm down your heart is racing flea."

"Sorry." he mumbled.

Shizuo went to push the shirt off and Izayas skin started to heat up. "You sure you're ok? You're awfully warm." he murmured as the shirt fell off Izayas arms. He grabbed it and discarded it on the side of the bed.

"Yeah. Must be a fever or something." Izaya said. His breath hot on Shizuos neck from being so close. 

Shziuo fought a shudder that threatened to rack his body. He quickly moved away to give Izaya some more room on the bed. "Ok lay down on your stomach. If it's too much let me know and be careful of the stitches." he grabbed the lotion and squirted some in his hand rubbing his hands together to warm it up a bit. Izaya slowly lowered himself on his stomach. He grabbed a pillow and used it to rest his head on while tucking his arms beneath it.

Shziuo got on his knees on the bed and placed a hand on each shoulder blade and began to gently work his hands into the muscles. Izaya let a low groan escape his mouth and he clenched the sheets under the pillow. "You ok?" Izaya nodded and he kept going. He worked his thumbs in gentle but firm circles all the way down to Izayas lower back. His fingers grazed the lining of the shorts and he then worked them back up along Izayas spine spreading his hands apart to grip the shoulders. 

Izaya moaned "Fuck Shizu-chan that's amazing. Where did you learn to do that?"

Shizuo stopped and grabbed the lotion. "No where. I guess I'm just really good with my hands." He grinned a big grin. 

"Ha ha I guess SOOO!" he squealed as Shizuo dripped some more lotion on his back. "Cold!" 

Shizuo laughed "Sorry". He kept going, moving his hands up and down in a firm lazy motion. He used his fingers to rub knots from Izaya neck. He could feel the muscles give away to the touch. He let his hands glide back down this time letting his nails graze the skin. Another groan came from Izaya and Shizuo felt his own skin start to grow hot.

He wasn't until he shifted that he noticed he was hard. Hot with embarrassment he asked. "Turn your head over away from me so I can get the other side of you neck better." Izaya did as he was told and Shizuo worked the muscle here. He let his mouth open a bit and struggled not to make his quite pants of air audible. 

He continued to let his nail glide up and down Izayas back. Stopping every few moments to rub the muscle. He worked his fingers to Izayas spine. He felt Izaya tense when he started to gently rubs across it. 

"Relax. If I wanted to break you I would have already." he said.

"Yeah I guess so. That really does feel great though. I feel like I am melting into this bed here. Maybe you should quit your day job?"

Shizuo snorted a laugh. "Yeah I can see the sign now 'Come get a massage from the beast of Ikebukuro!'"

"You would be surprised Shizu-chan. There are a lot of people out there that would jump at the chance to have you ravish their bodies." 

Shizuo shook his head a little embarrassed. I wasn't going to respond in case Izaya realized it was kind of a compliment to him. Instead he focused on the back beneath his fingers. Working them up the tender spine and down. The skin was so soft and as he starred at Izayas neck he realized he was slowly leaning down. His breathing was beginning to come out harsher as his nails started to graze the skin again.

"Shizu-chan?" he asked. "Are you ok?" Izaya turned his head to face him. 

Shizuo couldn't stand it anymore. "Yeah. I'm done." He rotated away from Izaya to hopefully hide his erection. He stood up and tossed the bottle of lotion back into the junk pile. "Feeling better?".

Izaya rolled over on his side and Shizuo turned away quickly. Izaya had also grown hard and this was something Shizuo did not know how to comprehend. Was his massage that great? 

Izaya stood up and collected the shirt from the floor. He smiled as shrugged it on. "That was wonderful Shizu-chan I do feel much better thank you. Can I make one more request?" he started to button it up.

Shizuo was grabbing his cigarettes and looked back "Yeah what's up?" he really needed a fucking smoke right now.

"I don't want to cook tonight. Can you pick us up Russian Sushi?" he pleaded. His eyes looked like they grew twice their size. So he couldn’t really say no. How was he able to make such a cute face?

"Sure" he said. "It's around 2 so I'll call an order in and go get it. Ummm in the mean time anything you want to do?" 

Izaya shrugged "Well what can we do?"

Shizuo shrugged back. "Ummm I don't have much but I do have a few puzzles. Some of the pieces might be missing though."

Izaya stood up and laughed. "I can't see you working a puzzle so this will be fun!" he looked to the junk pile "Where are they?"

Shizuo shook his head. "I'll get one. You go sit down and I'll dig it out." He opened the door and began to look in the hall closet to see if he could find one. 

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Izaya walked past Shziuo from the bedroom and took as seat on the couch. He pulled to coffee table up some so he could reach it better. He could hear Shizuo digging in the closet and chuckled at the curses he was spewing. Seems he was having a hard time finding one. He rotated his shoulders and felt so relaxed.

That massage was fantastic. Who knew Shizuo could do something like that! He then frowned, why would he do something like that? He didn't know what really brought it on and he wasn't sure he cared. The fact that Shizuo touched him like that was something incredible. It still felt like his skin was tingling from the touch.

He had been highly aroused by it too. Especially when Shizuo starting to use his nails! What could he do to get more of the gentle yet rough handling? Hopefully Shizuo didn't notice his arousal if he did he didn’t say anything. He began to wonder when he heard Shizuo shout in triumph. He must have found the puzzle.

He glanced up as Shizuo walked into the room with a puzzle in his hand. He set it on the table. "I'm gonna grab a smoke you dump it." with out waiting for a reply he disappeared out the door. 

Izaya picked up the box and almost died laughing. It was a picture of two puppies playing tug of war with a rope toy. It was only 100 pieces. He could do this in a few minutes but what about Shizuo. He wiped a tear from his eye at the though of Shizuo struggling to put it together. Grabbing his sides in a fit of laughter he fell onto the couch. 

Sighing he held up his hands and gazed at them. "What would you do if I touched you like that?" he said out loud. No longer laughing he rested his hands on his chest. "Would you feel the same way or still wish to go back to 'normal'?" he continued to let his thoughts run away. He had grabbed Shizuo when he tried to leave because he wanted to tell him how he felt but he chickened out. If Shizuo didn't return the feelings then he didn't want to deal with it. He would rather stay hear, pretending to be sick than having Shizuo reject him. At least this way he felt like he could still be in control. Sure it was pathetic but he didn't really care. 

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Shizuo stood on the roof gazing out over the city. "Shit" he growled. He sucked in a deep drag and let it spew out his nose like a dragon. "Why the fuck did I go that far?" He turned away leaning against the fence that bordered the edge of the roof. 

He had tired so many times in the past to murder the flea. Just a few minutes ago he had his spine LITERALLY beneath his hands and could have crushed him then and there. However, in that moment all he wanted to do was make him feel good. Originally he planed to just make the flea think he was trying to help but then he got into his.

He raised his hands to stare at them. The feeling of Izayas skin beneath them was so good. He wanted more. He wanted to dig his nails into the flesh harder he wanted to use more than just his hands too. It took a lot not to lean all the way over and let his tongue and teeth get in on the action. 

"Fuck!" he shouted. He gripped the fencing behind him feeling it rip apart in his hands. He needed to calm the fuck down. He took another deep drag and looked up at the sky. The clouds where running away letting the sun beat down on his face. He growled "Ass hole."

He threw the cigarette on the ground smashing it with his foot. He looked back over the city recalling 'normal' as chasing Izaya all around the city causing destruction. He sighed, was that really a normal he wanted to go back to? And what was with Izaya then?! He grabbed the fencing gripping it again in confusion. There was 100% something going on there, he hugged him and laid in his lap for Christs sake! That was not the Flea. 

Letting out another deep sigh he turned to head back down. This normal, the one that he had created here with Izaya, was one that he wanted to hold onto for a while. Even if it meant going insane himself he didn't care. He didn't want Izaya to leave yet. He was going to go back down and work that puzzle with him hopefully act somewhat normal and make it like nothing had ever happened. Hopefully that was enough for now.

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The door clicked open and Shizuo stepped inside. Izaya was still on the couch waiting for his return. "Ok, lets get to it. I will warn you this puzzle is hard and might take a while." at that Izaya covered his mouth. If he started to laugh then Shizuo might not want to work it. "Hey why are you covering your mouth?"

Izaya removed his hand forcing back the laugh and replied "I just thought I was going to sneeze. It's gone now."

Shizuo looked unconvinced but sat down on the other side of the table anyway. Izaya was going to enjoy this to the fullest. He helped spread out the pieces and tried to be slow with it so Shizuo had a chance. Normally he would start with the border, then he would separate the colors and patterns out. Not Shizuo.

Shizuo grabbed up a piece and studied it. He grabbed another and held them together, when he decided it was not the right piece he kept going. He did this for a good while before Izaya couldn't take it. "Ok so I will make the border for us while you keep trying to find pieces that fit." Shizuo nodded with determination and it almost knocked Izaya off the couch. He was so precious.

He shook his head in amazement that Shizuo could be so adorable. He would have never though of him this way if he hadn't slammed a piece down in frustration and he grabbed another. It was like watching a child! He started to make the bordered and when he almost finished he realized Shizuo was starring at him.

"Shizu-chan what is it?" he asked.

"How did you do that so fast?" he asked in amazement. 

Izaya had to cover his mouth again. "Sorry had another tickle." Shizuo kept looking at him waiting for an answer. "Um well I just collected any piece with a flat edge and similar color, then I found the ones that fit and kept adding to it."

Shizuo looked shocked "You don't look at the groves at all?" he glared at the puzzle as if it had just spit on him. "Damn, I didn't think about doing it that way…."

Izaya leaned over and cocked an eyebrow. "Well how do you normally do a puzzle Shizu-chan?"

He was in no way shape or form ready for the answer that Shizuo gave. "Ummm, I usually just try to find the pieces that fit and then when two fit I pick the next grove and find its match…. Half the time the picture is wrong though. I think my fingers are too strong and most of the pieces aren't meant to go together."

Izaya lost it this time, he fell back on the couch cackling like bird "Oh my god Shizu-chan that is the greatest thing I have ever heard!" 

Shizuo growled "Why is that so funny!"

"Because! You force them to fit when they don't! It's adorable!" He continues laughing.

"Flea?" Shizuo growls in a low dark voice.

Izaya sniffles and wipes his eyes "Yeah?"

"Did you just call me adorable?" he growls.

Izaya immediately stops laughing and turns his head at Shizuo. He didn't even catch that his thought formed into words. Shizuo looked pissed but not like Izaya was used to seeing. Shizuo was smiling at him, the rage in his face looking more playful than anything. Suddenly Izaya felt the urge to run from this version of Shizuo, mainly because he didn't know what to expect.

He sat up and tried to get off the couch but Shizuo was faster. He leapt on the table causing the puzzle to scatter all over the floor. He looked like a cat about to pounce on prey all while smiling something vicious. It was so thrilling. Izaya tried to slide under the table to escape. Once he crawled out from the other side Shizuo tired to drop on him. 

Izaya rolled out of the way, laughing, quickly getting to his feet and he ran into the kitchen. Ignoring the burning in his side and leg. This was far too much fun to let the injury bother him. His heart was beating in his ears as Shizuo strode over to the kitchen entrance and crossed his arms. He looked really pleased with himself as if he had caught the flea. Izaya was not finished yet though.

When Shizuo stormed past the threshold Izaya leapt with a shout of victory on the bar and hopped off onto the other side knocking over one of the bar stools. He began to run towards the bedroom but his injury had slowed down the time it took to get over the bar. Two arms grabbed him under his arms "Gotcha!" and he squealed. They both froze and Shizuo breathed into his ear with a devilish laugh. 

"Are you ticklish flea?"

Izaya gulped "no?" The heat in Shizuos voice against his ear sent shivers down his spine.

But it was too late. Shizuo knew now and there was no escape. Shizuo held him still with one arm and used the other to stroke up his side to his underarm. Izaya struggled with everything he had not to laugh but when Shizuo started to dig in his fingers he lost himself. 

"Fuck hahahaahah ok ha p-p-p-please s-s-top hahahaha!" he screamed. He tried to twist away but only managed to face Shizuo who began walking forwards.

"NO WAY FLEA!" Shizuo was not letting this one go. He kept tickling and walked them both to the wall. Izaya didn't know they were even moving. He had tears streaming down his face from the assault and the next thing he knew his back was against the wall and both of Shizuos hands were attacking him relentlessly. 

"I cant! I can't take it! Ahahah Please Sh-Sh-Shizu-chan!" Izaya was howling at this point.

"Hell no this is way too fun!" Shziuo growled playfully in his face. He worked his hands in turn under Izayas shirt to get directly to his skin. Izaya started to laugh even more but was also panicing. "What's wrong Flea? Never though I'd catch you like this did you!"

"Shizu-chan s-s-stop m-my shorts are s-sliding off-f!" he screamed in between the laughter. "I'll do an-anything bahahah! Just s-stop!" and at this Shizuo stopped his attack. 

Izaya was panting and holding up his oversized shorts. Shizuo was smiling ear to ear. "Anything you say?" 

Izaya looked up wide eyed. Fuck why did he say that? "No I mean-" he started and Shizuos fingers threated to wiggle again. "fine what ever you want!" He was smiling too now. "Just nothing weird ok?"

"Weird?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah. Sorry but I don't really feel like being your sex slave or anything." Izaya sneered.

Shizuos face went so red Izaya though he would explode "What the fuck! I would never even say that!"

Izaya pushed away from the wall satisfied that he had thrown Shizuo through a loop "Yep so anything else would be ok."

Shizuo thought for a moment and shrugged "I want you to fold and put away the laundry."

Izaya was still smiling "That all? You could have anything you want from me and that is it?" he laughed "and you say I am crazy."

Shizuo put and hand to his chin "Well what would you have me do if the roles were reversed?"

Izaya laughed "Get another massage!" 

Shizuo dropped his hand. "HA like your tiny hands could do anything." he walked away back to the couch and grabbed his phone. "What do you want for dinner? I'm gonna call it in."

Izaya stood there half scowling half smiling "My usual. Just tell them that and they will know. Unless you are too afraid to tell them Izaya is with you!" he walked over and took the seat next to Shizuo. "And you would be lucky to have my 'tiny' hands on you."

Shizuo stopped smiling "It's not that I am afraid just… People would get the wrong idea. Also no thanks."

"And what idea would that be?" Izaya asked. He leaned against Shizuo plucking the phone from him and walked away. When Shizuo tried to get the phone he held up a hand and dialed. 

"Yeah this is Orihara Izaya. I'd like to order my usual! Ok… Yes. Can you add what ever Hewajima Shizuo usually gets too? Uh-hu ok yeah. Oh no don't worry about it put it on my tab you know I'm good for it. Naw I just want to poison him. You know me and my evil schemes. Thanks!" he hangs up the phones and Shizuo looks pissed. The normal pissed.

"What the hell!?" Shizuo yelled. "What are they gonna think?"

"Relax and who cares." Izaya responded. 

"I do! I live in this city!" Shizuo grumbled and stormed into his room. "This whole think is going to be awkward now thanks to you."

Izaya shrugged. "Oh well I am sure you'll think of some great excuse Shizu-chan."

Shizuo came out with a change of clothes. "Put away the laundry and clean up the puzzle before I get back." he walked out slamming the door shut. 

Izaya stared at the door for a long time. He already missed the big idiot. He looked over at the puzzle pieces scattered on the wall and then to the knocked over stool. "Just like old times eh?" he said out loud. He looked at the wall where Shizuo ravaged him and he blushed. Almost like old times. He is fairly certain non of their chases ended in a tickle fight. He sighed out loud "Why are you teasing me Shizu-chan?".

He stood up and grabbed the bag of laundry from the floor. He walked into the bedroom and dumped it on the bed. Falling from the bottom of the bag was a receipt that read 'Mories Dry Cleaning' the bill was 300$ "What the hell!?" he gripped at the price. He threw the bill on the floor and picked up his jacket. It looked brand new. He hugged it and hung on the door. 

He started folding the shirts one after another. They were all white and exactly the same. He made a neat pile of them and folded the pants. There weren’t as many pants as he expected. He folded a few sweats, tees and then two vests. One bow tie was left and he just threw that in the drawer with the rest. 

He neatly put the clothes in their proper places in the drawer and turned back to fold up the underwear left on the bed. He put those away and proceeded to match the socks and put those away. Once all of the laundry was done he went back out to the living room to clean up the puzzle. They hadn't even gotten to finish it. Izaya laughed out loud "I can't believe you are so bad at puzzles!"

He left the box on the table just incase Shizuo wanted to try again later and then he picked up the bar stool. Once finished he walked over to the bookshelf behind to couch and picked up the dirtiest one there. It was Moby Dick. Izaya flipped it over a few times in his hands before opened the cover. Written inside said 'Property of Heiwajima Shizuo' and after making sure this was a real book and not something hollowed out for treasures he sat down with it.

"Now why would you have this book. I would think it was a little too complex for you." He began to read and decided he would ask Shizuo about it when he got back. The book didn't have a book mark so maybe Shizuo just kept it for looks. 

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Shizuo was cursing in the elevator on the way down "Damn flea, calling Russian Sushi like that. How the Hell am I going to explain this one to Simon? Ugh stupid fuck head." he stomped out of the elevator nodding at the burly woman behind the counter who was giving another suspicious look. 

Once on the street he shoved his hands in his pockets and stormed down the sidewalk. No one dared try to talk to him because he looked really pissed off. People would swear he was crazy and the way he kept grumbling to himself. He made it a few blocks before running into some familiar faces. 

"Hey Shizuo! What are you doing here I thought you were busy?" Tom said. The woman next to him was Verona and she just starred at Shizuo. "So spill it what are you doing?"

Tom was a dark skinned man with dread locks and glasses. He wore a black suit and seemed to have just finished a job. Verona was in her normal white short sleeved buttoned up shirt and red shorts. Her long white boots were a bit scuffed up further proving that they had been working. She was the other muscle behind the debt collecting.

Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly "Would you believe me if I said I had Orihara Izaya cooped up in my apartment?"

Tom laughed out loud making Verona jump back a bit "Hell if you don't want to tell me that's cool. We all have our secrets I guess."

"Senpi? Are you feeling well?" Verona asked.

"Huh?" Shizuo replied.

"The look on your face is that of trouble" She responded.

Tom just looked from one to the other and shrugged. "Hey if you guys want to talk in some code I am out. Verona I'll meet you at the next location." he waved at them and headed off.

Shizuo looked back at Verona "Yeah I am fine. I just have…. Actually no can I ask you something?"

"Yes." she nodded as well as replied.

"If you had your most hated enemy living with you do you think you could…um…begin to like them?" he scuffled a foot. "I mean this is just hypothetical."

Verona didn't even think about it "Illogical, most hated enemy would be dead. Could not live with me if dead."

Shizuo sighed "Right…. But do you think you or said enemy could have a change of heart?"

Verona thought for a single second and shook her head. "Senpi, question does not work. If enemy has change of heart then they are no longer enemy."

Shizuo grumbled "This isn't helping. I can't make sense of my situation like this."

"Shizuo?" 

"Yeah?"

She went to kick him in the head and made contact. He felt right to the ground. "What the hell was that for?"

"Knocking sense into you yes?" she said.

Shizuo laughed from the ground and she helped him up. "Yeah actually that kinda helped. Thanks Verona."

"I will always kick you in face if needed." she replied.

They waved and parted ways and he continued walking. Suddenly he couldn't stop smiling. The kick to the head made him think of chasing the flea which turned into chasing him around his apartment. The laugh coming from Izaya was so childish. It reminded him of watching cartoons with him. Izayas laughter was a like a drug that he was slowly becoming addicted to and he wanted more.

A few more blocks walked and he was thinking about what to do when he got home. The puzzle was out of the question. It may have led to some fun but not before it made a fool out of him. That damn thing was going straight in the trash when he got back. Maybe they could watch a movie? Yeah he would stop by a video store on the way back. He didn't have a VCR though, but he did have Izayas credit card…

Standing outside of Russian Sushi he took a deep breath before walking in. "OI SHIZUO!" Simon, a big black Russian man, greeted him. "Welcome back to Russian Sushi!" he walked right up to him and patted him on the back. It knocked Shizuos glasses right off. 

He bent down to pick them up while talking "Hey Simon how is it going?" he put the glasses back on and Simon was eyeing him strangely. "What?"

Simon smiled "We make deal yes?"

"Ummm ok?"

"I beat you in arm wrestle you tell me truth about order with Izaya?" his smile broadened when Shizuos face went red. "I wish to know about new friendship!"

"Shut up Simon! There is no friendship!" he hushed him when looking at curious faces seated around them.

"HAHAHA Shizuo no fool Simon. Come lets do deal." he went and sat down.

Shizuo sat across from him and held out an arm. "Ok Simon but when I win you forget about any of this. Deal?"

"Deal." he boomed and before Shizuo could do anything Simon threw down his arm. 

"Hey wait I wasn’t ready!" he yelled.

"No countdown needed. I go when I go and you lose. Now tell me things about friendship." he beamed.

Shizuo slammed his fists down. "Fine but this is between you and me!" He told the story after Simon agreed. About how Izaya and saved him and how he had to stitch him up. Of course he left out all of the details of Izaya and him sleeping together but that wasn't important. The point of him just trying to pay Izaya back was all that he wanted to get across.

Simon looked very thoughtful and then nodded. "Understood Shizuo. Now I get you food and you go." he got up and came back moments later with the order. "You have good night Shizuo and call if need more sushi!"

Shizuo took the bags from Simon rolling his eyes. "Quit looking at me like that!"

"Kak tsvety vse sdelany slashche Solntse I rosa, tak eso staryy Mir stal varche ot zhizni Lyudey, kak ty." he spoke in Russian.

"The fuck does that even mean Simon?" Shizuo asked.

"If two people could change this much. The world should see it and learn from it." he smiled.

"Yeah right no one is fucking changing." he growled back.

Simon put a hand on his shoulder. "Lying to self is useless. You know what you voice is lie."

Shizuo thanked him and left before the talk grew more uncomfortable than it already had. He quickly stopped by the video store and picked out a very gory looking movie and a cheap DVD player. He enjoyed watching violent movies mostly because they were so absurd. He loved yelling at the TV when people went into rooms they shouldn’t or when people summon ancients spirits like fucking idiots. 

The sun had started to fall by the time he got back. Walking into the lobby the burly woman finally stopped him. "Heiwajima!" he froze almost jumping out of his skin. He turned to look around the bundle in his arms and she was glaring at him. "We have a lot of noise complaints lately from you. HUSH!" she shouted and tapped her fingers on the desk. 

"Sorry ma'am…." he replied. Stifling a laugh at the thought that he could keep quiet staying with the flea. He called back to her as he got on the elevator. "I will try my best to keep it down ma'am." She pointed angrily at him while the doors close. He is pretty sure she is crazy…. 

He props a knee up against the wall to help balance the things he is carrying. He gets his keys out and he wiggles the keys in the lock and enters the apartment. Izaya was on the couch reading a book and seemed oblivious to his entrance. He closed the door with his foot making sure to slam it a bit. Izaya startled and looked up. 

"Oh Shizu-chan! Welcome back, what is that?" he asked while looking at the DVD player.

Shizuo set it on the coffee table and stood back excitedly. I got a DVD player!" Izaya didn't look impressed. "For movies. I got us a movie to watch tonight!"

Izaya set the book on the table and gave him questioningly stare. "And who might I ask paid for said movie watching device?"

Shizuo didn't even care "You. Consider it payment for staying here."

Izaya sighed. "So all of the groceries were because??"

Shizuo began to install the DVD player. He had tossed the manual off to the side and was starring at the cords in confusion. "You have to eat right?" He grabbed another cord and plugged it into the wall. When the lights came on he was excited. He grabbed the movie and shoved it in starring at the TV. When nothing happened he grabbed the other cord and turned it around a few times in his hands.

Izaya got up and knelt next to him. "You have to put this one in the back of the tv to make the connection." Izaya walked behind the TV and asked Shizuo to fish it to him. Once plugged in the title appeared on the screen. Shizuo quickly pressed play and sat on the couch passing the food out. Izaya made his way back but grabbed the movie box first. "Blade Face?" he glanced at Shizuo who had already begun to stuff his face.

"Yeah. I haven't watched this one yet but I was supposed to be really gross!" he shoved a whole piece of sushi into his mouth and patted the seat next to him. "Come on! Yur gonna mish the beginin!" 

"Calm down, you’re gonna choke!" Izaya sat next to him collecting his food and beginning to eat. 

After they had finished eating Shizuo crossed his legs on the couch and Izaya collected the blanket and wrapped up in it. 

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Izaya watched the movie with wide eyes. There was a woman fidgeting with what looked like a metal puzzle box and Shizuo shouted "Don’t' play with that! Can't you tell it's evil?!" he was throwing his hands up at the TV. Suddenly hooks shot from the box and attached themselves into her face ripping the flesh apart. It was so grotesque! He almost flew off the couch when Shizuo lightly punched him. "I told her not to open it!"

"Dammit!" he glared at Shizuo who didn’t seem to notice. "You know they can't hear you right?"

He turned his attention back to the TV. Now there were three monsters standing in a room surrounding a man. One monster was very bloated and had puss seeping from gashes all over his flesh. One had no skin at all and was nothing put bleeding muscle. The most startling was the one that seemed to be the leader. His face was shredded to pieces and had knives growing from his face. 

The leader leaned over the man and in a terrifying voice spoke. "Dr. Akana, you have solved the puzzle and now you will come with us." Izaya leaned forward straining to listen to the man on the screen who let out a whimper and the monster slowly reached out a hand. The hand got closer and closer to the mans face and upon contact a razor blade shot out of his flesh and into the mans cheek. 

Shziuo roared at the TV "This idiot thinking he could trust them!" he looked at Izaya who wasn't even watching anymore now he was watching Shizuo. He went to say something but the TV took his attention. 

A scream erupted from the TV and Shizuo quickly became lost in the blood bath again. Izaya was no longer watching the movie now he was watching Shizuo. Shizuo looked like he was having the time of his life and Izaya couldn't help but smile. It felt like someone had reached in his chest and was squeezing his heart. 

He shuffled closer to Shizuo and leaned into him. Shizuo startled at the touch and looked down. Izaya didn't make eye contact. Instead he pretended to watch the TV intently. Shziuo reached his arm around Izaya forcing him to look up. Shziuo was starring at the TV smiling. Izaya couldn't even focus on the movie at all anymore. All he could think about was the warm cage, that was Shizuo, trapping him. He snuggled deeper into Shizuo side.

He enjoyed hearing Shizuo shout at the TV even though it was pointless. The roaring laughter that erupted from him made him laugh as well. He didn't even know what was happening with the movie anymore but hearing Shizuo having so much fun with it made him happy. Shizuo almost vibrated him off the couch a few times but that didn't matter. 

After the movie was over Shizuo clicked off the TV. "Damn that was good. Who knew that guy was in hell the whole time!? What a mind fuck!"

Izaya yawned. "Yeah, who knew." he peered up at Shizuo who was looking down on him. As if he suddenly realized how close they were he shot up off the couch causing Izaya to fall over. 

"I'm going to get ready for bed." before Izaya could get a word out he had made his way into the bedroom. Izaya laid there giving Shizuo time to change before making his way into the room. He leaned against the door frame. Shizuo was already in bed, the sheet draped over him, he was facing away. 

Izaya crawled under the sheets and whispered "Hey Shizu-chan?"

"Yeah flea?" a quiet voice whispered back.

"Can I sleep in here again?" 

"If you want to…"

Izaya scooted closer and wrapped an arm over Shizuo. Shizuo stiffened but didn’t push him away. He did the last thing Izaya expected. He grabbed his arm and hugged it into his chest. Neither one of them said a word. After what felt like a millennium Shizuo broke the silence.

"Hey, can we make spaghetti tomorrow for dinner?"

Izaya laughed into Shizuo back "Sure, why spaghetti?"

"It's cheap and when you leave it'll be something I can afford to make."

Izaya pulled his arm away "Oh of course." he rolled over away from Shizuo who didn't give chase. "Yeah we can make it tomorrow for dinner…" Izaya curled up in a ball forcing the pain away inside his chest. He knew now for certain that Shizuo was expecting him to leave. Why wouldn't he? He was Izaya and this was Shizuo. It didn't matter that Izaya was falling for him, Shizuo would never feel the same. 

He wasn't sure what disturbed his sleep this time. It was still pitch black outside but there was a sound coming from behind him. He gently rolled over and Shziuo was having a fitful sleep. He was whimpering and on his back. Izaya sat up and tired to make sense of the whimpering. They were definetly words and Izaya tried to shake Shizuo awake.

"Shizu-chan, wake up. You seem to be having a nightmare."

Shizuo shook his head. Tears started falling down his cheeks. Izaya could now make out the words "No let me help her! Her legs are stuck let me help!" he started screaming and when Izaya shook harder Shizuo snatched his wristed, shooting up and shoved him down into the bed. He pinned Izaya down under him and his eyes were wide and wild.

"Shizu-chan calm down! It's just me!" he shouted. Shizuo still didn't seem to register that he was awake. Shizuo growled so low that Izaya was starting to panic. "Shizuo! Wake up!" he screamed.

Shizuo squeezed his wrists so tight Izaya thought the veins below the skin would burst. "Izaya… I broke her! I broke her!" Izaya rolled his head back in pain. He tired to kick but Shizuo has his legs pinned too. He didn't know what to do. Shizuo just kept screaming and crying over him. "I broke her I broke her!"

"SHIZUO! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Izaya shot his head up and clipped Shizuo chin. 

Shizuo fell over grabbing his chin in pain "What the fuck!?" he sat up rubbing tears from his eyes. "What's going on!?"

Izaya sat up gasping. "You were having a nightmare! I thought you were going to kill me!"

Shizuo, still panting, sat up on the edge of the bed. "Sorry… I haven't dreamt like that in a while…" he turned back at Izaya with sadness swimming in his eyes. He looked down at Izayas wrists, there were red finger nail marks dug into them. "Did I hurt you?"

Izaya rubbed a wrist. "No." Shizuo turned away and Izaya crawled over to him. "You didn't hurt me I'm fine Shizu-chan."

Shizuo pushed him away "Don't. Please?" he sniffled and got up. "I'm going to sleep on the couch now ok?" Izaya tried to protest but Shizuo got up anyway. 

Izaya felt so cold. He had never felt like this before, his heart was breaking and he had to do something. He got up and snatched Shizuos phone off the dresser. He dialed a number and waited for someone to answer. "Hey, sorry to call so late but I need a favor, nothing too big I just need you to look up some information for me. Yeah I would do it myself by I don't have a computer right now. Ok, thanks."

After Izaya got what he needed he went out to the living room where Shizuo was curled up asleep on the couch. Izaya couldn't sleep now, even if he wanted to. He flipped on a light and he grabbed the book from the coffee table. He sat down in the floor against the couch by Shizuos head and started to read. 

Shziuo stretched out and hit Izaya on the back of his head. He turned around and Shizuo was blinking away sleep. "Morning Shizu-chan." 

Shizuo blinked some more trying to focus on Izaya. "Did you sleep at all?"

Izaya shrugged "Not really, I figured I could read a bit but the story was too exciting." he held up the book to show Shizuo that he was over half way through it. "Why do you have this book?"

Shizuo sat up and scratched his shoulder "I don't know I like that one I guess."

Izaya smiled facing away again "What do you like about it?"

Shizuo stood up and walked to the bathroom "I guess I like the way that man always hunts a monster but never catches it, not really…" He closed the bathroom door and Izaya turned the book back to the date Shizuo had gotten it. He smiled when he realized it was a book he had gotten from their high school library. 

Setting the book down he stood up and went to the bedroom to change. He changed out the shorts for pants and then did the same with the shirt for a tee. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Hey Shizu-chan I am going to go out for a bit."

He heard fumbling and the door opened. Shizuo starred at him with a worried look and a toothbrush hanging from his mouth "Where are you going?"

Izaya pressed a finger up to Shizuos lips "Shhhh it's a secret!" when Shizuo looked like he was about to keep speaking he hushed him again. "Don't worry I will be fine. I'll be back by lunch! I just need to meet up with a friend for work." he walked over to the front door and grabbed his shoes and socks. He sat down first putting on the socks and then sliding on the shoes. 

Shizuo finished brushing his teeth and had grabbed his coat from the bedroom and brought it to Izaya "Here, just be careful. I know I can't force you to stay here or make you come back even but if I seen on the news where you had been killed or passed out then I… Well it'll be my fault or something." 

Izaya stood up and shrugged the coat on. He zipped up the front and stretched up to pat Shizuo on the head. "Don't worry Shizu-chan I can take care of myself!" He reached into his coat pocket "Wait where is my knife?"

Shizuo laughed and went to collect it from the kitchen. "You stabbed me the other night so I confiscated it."

"Oh right, still not sorry" Izaya winked. "Now don't lock me out, I promised to help you make spaghetti!"

Shizuo opened the door. "That is right! You did, so don't think you can back out of that deal so easy."

Izaya nodded taking the blade from Shizuo. "I wouldn't dream of it!" he left and Shizuo shut the door. 

On the way down the elevator he wondered if what he was doing was right or not. He didn't want to share his feelings with Shizuo out loud but maybe with this he could show him? He noticed the burly woman at the counter in the lobby stare at him. He smiled and strode over to here. "Good morning beautiful human."

She blushed and spoke "Good morning yourself. Be careful out there today, the dogs are barking." 

Izaya nodded as if he understood "Sure, but do make sure to keep the mashed potatoes in the oven?"

The woman busted out laughing "You are my kinda guy!"

"Oh let me ask you something too. The beast on the 3rd floor. Mr. Heiwajima. If you could take pay for the next months rent on my card for him. I kinda owe him a big favor." he handed her his card. 

She took the card from him and rolled her eyes. "Mr. Noise maker is more like it. Are you staying with him?"

Izaya leaned on the counter watching her type in his info "Yeah kinda. You see those barking dogs bit me and he has been patching me up."

Once finished she handed him back the card. "Well Mr. Milkman I hope he calms down up there. The complaints are piling up. By the way. What are you doing for dinner?" She leaned over and rubbed his arm with a smile. 

Izaya back away and laced his fingers behind his head and laughed at the ceiling "Sorry but I'm spoken for!" he smiled at that words leaving his mouth. 

"Is it serious?" she asked.

He looked back at her never letting the smile leave "Yeah, but he doesn't feel the same way…."

"Then he is a fool!"

"No ma'am, you have it wrong." he backed away and started to leave. "I am the fool…"


	6. From Monster to Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya has left and Shizuo is driving himself mad with his own thought. When Izaya comes back Shizuo is ready to talk but Izaya did not come back alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while because I wanted it to be perfect before I posted it and dammit do I think it is perfect! I think it is a little shorter than what I usually post but I am on vacation and wanted to give you guys something great. Please enjoy!

Shizuo needed something to keep distracted. Izaya being out on the streets bothered him. What if he got hurt again? Was he safer here though, those bruises on his wrists did not escape his vision this morning. He knew he did that and Izaya would say it was another one of his accidents. Accident…

His nightmare was so fresh in his mind… The little girl being crushed and the police keeping him back. It was like he had relived it once again. He could still hear her mothers screams as she tried to get to her child under the rubble. He shuddered trying to forget but he couldn’t. This was something that he would never be able to forget.

He sat on the couch with his face in his hands. His mind suddenly drifted in another direction. He looked at the book on the table. He grabbed it and smiled. Izaya really had read a lot of it so he had to have stayed up with him all night. He pulled it open, running his fingers on the page that Izaya had marked. He started to feel a bit guilty about it, Izaya couldn't have gotten any sleep but he felt so relieved waking up by him.

When he woke up that morning he was still afraid but when he glanced at the back of Izayas head he instantly felt at peace. When did this guy ever make him feel better? He set the book back on the table and chuckled out loud when his eyes rested on the puzzle. Remembering Izayas laughter as he chased him. He opened the box and dumped it. Maybe this would be a good distraction.

He remembered what Izaya said about doing the border first and he set to work. Once he had collected all of the pieces with a flat side he started to form them together. It wasn't easy, his finger were too strong and when he thought he had it all done he noticed that he forgot a few pieces…. He went back and tried to figure out where he missed them.

Once the border was done he started to work his way around trying to focus on colors instead of just the groves. This was also difficult but the next thing he knew he was clicking the final piece in place. He smiled and shouted "HA I did it!" when he stood up his smile fell. One of the puppies had his eyes crooked so he looked deformed.

"Damn, close enough I guess." he said. He looked over at the clock and realized he had been working on this for too long… He was starting to get hungry now. Surely Izaya would get his own lunch right? He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, a spoon and his cereal. He ripped open the cereal and dumped some in his bowl. Tossing the box on the counter he grabbed milk from the fridge and added it in. He took his bowl to the couch and flipped on the TV. Nothing was on so he restarted his movie and just watched it again.

It was past lunch now and the credits to his movie were rolling on the screen. He was starting to get worried. "That's it, he's been gone too long!" He stood up and went to change into his bartender attire. "I have to go find him, he promised to cook with me." there was a small voice in the back of his head that was shouting at him.

"It's not just the cooking that you want!" the voice screamed.

Shizuo walked out of the room and looked at the door "What am I doing? If he wanted to be here he would come back. What right do I have to go get him?" he sat on the couch fighting with himself. "Izaya can do whatever he wants." he glanced at the door "He doesn’t want this, it's all just a fucking game." 

He picked up his empty bowl from his cereal to take into the kitchen. He stood up with it and felt the ground move. He was so sad and so lonely and this was something he had never felt. Yeah he had been alone for a long time but he had grown used to it. This was a new kind of loneliness.

He wanted Izaya to come back so bad and he was finally understanding this. When Izaya did come back he was going to make sure he showed him this. He was going to come clean with everything. If Izaya decided to leave after that he had no right to stop him. He couldn't lie like this anymore though.

It was time. It was time to tell him that he knew he was faking the extremities of his injury. That he was just trying to fuck with his head like Izaya always did to him but that this time it backfired. By doing this he fucked with his own head and slowly fell, dare he think it, in love. He fell in love with Izaya Orihara, the man he would have sworn on his own grave that he hated.

"Son of a bitch…." he said out loud. 

He did love him. He loved the way he smelled, the way he laughed and the way he got so pissed off over the dumbest shit. Fuck he even loved the way Izaya smiled when he was up to no good. He loved the way he looked when he cooked, like he was preforming some kind of artistic dance or the way he tries to put logic into cartoons but still enjoys them. Most of all he loved the way Izaya made him feel. Like he was normal… like he was another person that someone could be around with out being afraid of him.

He looked around and let his shoulders sag a little. He felt so alone in his own place. Izaya hadn't been there long but with out him now it was too dark. What would he do if Izaya really didn't come back? Would he be able to sleep in his own bed? Would he be able to fix breakfast? What about watching cartoons!? Suddenly he felt that his own life would stop moving if Izaya didn't come through that door. Like he himself would no longer exist. 

As if he heard him the door knob wiggled and suddenly Izaya walked in. He smiled at Shizuo but there was something off about it. It wasn't a 'Hey I am back' smile. No this was the smile that was always laced with trouble… Trouble was the wrong word to use here. Shizuo stood up to investigate but before he could take a step Izaya held up a hand.

"Wait Shizuo. I brought someone here…" he said. The smile never left his face but it did fall a bit.

"Who? Namie?" Shizuo asked.

"Not quite…" Izaya said. He turned around and spoke to someone "It's ok you can come in. Do you need help?" After a moment Izaya stepped aside. Shizuo frowned at the manila envelope that Izaya was clenching. Suddenly there was the sound of squeaking metal and two wheels appears at the entrance.

"What. The. Fuck…" Shizuo said. When the wheels turned into a full on wheel chair he dropped the bowl in his hand. It shattered when it hit the floor and Shizuo fell down with it. He screamed at Izaya who stood motionless by the door. "Why the fuck did you do this!?"

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Izaya shut the door and locked it. He walked over to Shziuo and knelt down infront of him. He called out to him softly "Please listen Shizu-chan…"

Shizuo smacked his hand away. "Get the fuck out." he said. His voice was barely a whisper now.

"Shizu-chan please-"

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" Shizuo cut him off screaming.

Suddenly the chair rolled up next to them. Shizuo looked up with tears falling down his face. Izaya followed his gaze to the young girl in the chair. "Shizuo" she said softly "Do you know who I am?"

Izaya could see Shizuo was struggling. He wasn't sure if it was fear, rage or sadness. When Shizuo turned his gaze back to him he felt the whole world shift at the betrayal in it. He stood up and reached a hand out not at all surprised when Shizuo ignored it and stood up on his own. What surprised him was the bar stools that greeted him after Shizuo punched him in the face. 

He lay there, blood pooling around his shirt where the side stitches tore a bit. He peered up at Shizuo who had stood over him. Shizuo reached down and lifted him up by his shirt collar. Izaya didn't even bother to fight back. He shut his eyes instead. Fighting back wasn't an option because he knew Shizuo had to let go in order to open up.

"Mr. Shizuo wait I am sorry!" he opened his eyes to see the girl had rolled over to them. "Please don't hurt Mr. Izaya! I came here to talk to YOU!" Izaya fell to the floor when Shizuo dropped him. 

Shizuo turned his attention to the girl "Meredith… Why are you apologizing…?" 

Meredith looked up at Shizuo with tears in her eyes "Because you have been suffering for so long over me and I had no idea!" 

Shizuo stood there stunned and flinched when Izaya tugged at his sleeve. "You.. Have… to listen to.. her" he said between breaths. Izaya used Shizuos stunned form to drag himself up to his feet. Izayas cheek was swelling from where Shizuo punched him and blood was dripping from his lip. He still managed to drag Shizuo to the couch gripping his sleeved and holding his own side with the other hand. They both sat down. 

 

Izaya didn’t sit too close to Shizuo incase he got angrier. Shizuo was too stunned to say anything it seemed but he didn't want to risk setting him off. Meredith rolled back with them and sat across from the coffee table. 

She handed Izaya the folder he was carrying. She must have picked it up when Shizuo knocked him across the room. His head was still spinning a little bit but he was able to focus more now. "Shizu-chan. If you want me to leave then I will. Not until you sit here and listen to her though. Only afterwards will I do what you say." 

Shizuo turned to look at him nodding slowly the anger not as strong in his eyes but the hurt that laced them made Izaya flinch slightly. The betrayal was still in his face and then he looked back to Meredith. Fresh tears began to fall down his face as he looked at her. Izaya didn't dare try to comfort him. Izaya looked at Meredith and nodded. She returned the nod and looked back to Shizuo.

"Shizuo I want to tell you that what happened to me was not your fault, but mine…" she began. "You see that day when you ran into that building I had broken away from my mothers hand. I had seen the building, the bright yellow caution tape, and some big pigeons. I loved birds so when I seen them I just had to chase them. I crossed right though that caution tape and a series of events took place. A man stole a purse, a woman screamed for help, another man gave pursuit and a girl chased pigeons. All of these things within moments of each other."

Shizuos tears were overflowing from his eyes as he listened. Shizuo made no sounds but Izaya could tell he was breaking apart inside from the way his face was twisted. Izaya felt like his own heart was going to explode in his chest and he couldn't stop himself. He reached over and grasped Shizuos hand. Shizuo never looked at him but squeezed his hand in return. Izaya winced and was prepared for his bones to be crushed when he reached out. The crush never came and Shizuo never let go.

Meredith continued "I was a stupid child that ignored a dangerous place to chase some stupid birds. You yourself were a brave man who chased a very VERY bad man into a broken building. You did nothing wrong! You had no way to know how bad that building was damaged or that I would run up to it." Meredith was crying now.

Shizuo squeezed Izayas hand a little harder but still not enough to hurt. Izaya looked at his face that was still twisted with so much pain. The tears that were falling never ceased and were soaking to his lap. A tear slid down Izayas cheek at the sight and he used a hand to quickly banish it.

"Shizuo if I had known that you had been suffering over this the whole time I would have come sooner. I didn't know who the bears and flowers came from. My mother refused to tell me. I didn't even know that you were even there. Even knowing now doesn't change anything though. I still don't blame you!"

A few moments of silence passed between the three of them and finally Shizuo cleared his throat. "If- If I hadn't chased that man… You would be walking right now…." he stammered.

Izaya was not going to let him continue destroying himself "Shizu-chan no. If you hadn't chased that man others would be in worse condition."

Shizuo turned to him confused "What?"

Meredith grabbed his attention. "Shizuo did you know anything about the man you chased?"

Shizuo shook his head slowly "No…"

Izaya took the hand the Shziuo was holding. He reached over and opened the folder. He laid a few pictures out on the table. Shizuo grimaced at them. There was a picture of a woman who had be badly beaten, one of a small boy with a broken arm and busted lip and one of an infant child that was clearly malnourished.

Shziuo sniffled "The hell are these…" Shizuo murmured as he starred at the pictures.

Meredith spoke "This is Makimi Rejia and her two little boys Rukri and Zakri" She placed a hand over each one in turn. 

Shizuo looked up at her the tears finally stopped "Who are they…?"

"They are that mans family. He had beaten his wife severely so much that when he was arrested no one knew who she was. The youngest child was near death when the police got to him and the other child suffered from a broken arm. After he was arrested for the robbery the police found a note in his pocket with plans to kill his family and leave."

Izaya added to the story "Yes. He had been watching that elderly woman for weeks. He knew her routine and had planned everything."

"Routine?" Shizuo echoed back questiongly.

"Yes" Izaya said "She ran a small business and three times a week she would take money from her business and deposited it in her bank account. He knew this and after so much planning he was going to steal the money, murder his family, and leave the country."

Meredith could still see Shizuo wasn't understanding "Shizuo you saved them! If you hadn't have stopped him from taking that money and letting the police get him then those two little boys would be dead! Yes I have lost my legs but I didn't lose my life!" Meredith leaned over and grasped Shizuos face forcing him to look at her. "You saved that whole family!"

"Saved…" he echoed.

Izaya scooted closer and gently spoke. "When questioned why he didn't kill them first… he said it was because he wanted to make sure that he had the money to run. If you didn't stop him that would have been it."

Shizuo reached up and grasped Meredith's hands that were still on his face. The tears started again in full force. The ran across her knuckles and she smiled. "I… saved someone….." he chocked out. 

Meredith nodded and smiled "You did so you can finally let go and be free." she took her hands away.

Shizuo then turned to Izaya, the tears never ceasing "Izaya… I saved someone…."

Izaya reached his arm around Shizuo dragging him into his chest. "Yes Shizu-chan you did."

Shizuo threw his head into Izayas chest crying and repeating that line over and over "I saved someone. I saved someone" he sobbed and Izaya just held him there running his hand over his back. He could feel the front of his shirt become soaked from Shizuos tears. 

"Yes Shizu-chan… you can forgive yourself now." Shizuo just nodded and continued to cry into his chest. He reached his arms around Izaya hugging him tight. Izaya felt like he was being crushed but there was no way he was going to move. After a long few moments Izaya felt Shizuos grip loosen and he gently moved him. He carefully laid Shizuos head in his lap. He had cried himself to sleep again. 

Meredith had been silently watching them with a warm smile. "You really love him don't you Mr. Izaya?" 

Izaya didn't return the warm smile back to her. Instead he rested it on Shizuos swollen face. "Yes I do Meredith…"

Meredith rolled over to Izaya and placed a hand on his shoulder "But he doesn't know does he?"

Izaya slowly shook his head letting sadness edge his voice "No. How can I possibly tell him? I didn't know it myself until recently and he hates me…" he looked up at her and tears started to fall down his cheeks and splashed onto Shizuos swollen face. "I can handle him hating me forever but I can't handle him never talking to me again. At least this way I can still be near him. Even if it's him trying to chase me around the city to murder me I don't care." He moved hair out of Shizuos face while brushing away a few wet tears that remained. "As long as he is chasing me I am fine."

Meredith shook her head squeezing his shoulder slightly "How can you possible say that Mr. Izaya? How can you be happy with just that? I can see it in your face and hear it in your voice that this isn't enough for you. If you keep this up it will break you!"

Izaya moved her hand from his shoulder. He gave her a piercing look. "I don't expect you to understand Merideth… I know it isn't all happiness that I am getting from it. I know there is so much pain and suffering that I am going to put myself through." She tried to protest but he cut her off "I am ALREADY broken Meredith!"

She didn't argue anymore. How could she when he made that face. The face of someone who was barley hanging on to what he had. Love, sanity and life. "Very well. I am sorry if I have upset you."

"No you didn't. Like I said, I don't expect you to understand me. I am fine with suffering as long as I can get just a single slice of happiness from it." he looked back down at Shizuo "If my suffering will bring him joy then so be it." he looked back up at her with a big smile "I have never once lied to myself about the way I feel. If this feeling of love is for him then I will do what ever I can to keep it."

She smiled back and nodded "I may not agree or truly understand but love is complicated anyway. I do hope that some day you share it with him though…." She began to wheel herself to the door. He started to get up to help her but she refused. "No it is ok. I know how to get out myself. Just because I am in a wheel chair doesn't make me helpless." She smiled at him as she opened the door and rolled out. Before she closed it she called out "Thank you Mr. Izaya".

Izaya gently wriggled from under Shizuo leaving him on the couch. He grabbed the blanket from the other side and draped it over Shizuo. He then picked up the barstools wincing as he bent over to get them. He glanced at his shirt to see the blood that soaked through. He shrugged out of his coat and hung it on the bar stool. Leaning over a little bit he pulled off the shirt. It was still a struggle but he managed to get it off. He twisted to look at the wound relived to see it wasn't bleeding now. 

He went to the skink to get a wash cloths and clean it off a bit. The stitches didn't look too rough and it seems to have dried up pretty well. He tossed the cloth in the sink and went to collect some bandages from the bathroom. He stuck some gauze pads over it and taped it down. He walked back into the living room sighing at the broken bowl in the floor. 

He grabbed a dish towel to clean up the little bits of liquid. He then shook the towel out over the trash can to get off any bits of ceramic that might have been stuck in it. He tossed that in the sink and hunted for a broom. He couldn’t find one so he settled for some old newspapers. Once he had the mess cleaned up and in the trashed he sat on the couch next to Shizuos sleeping face, lifting it so that he could place his head back in his lap. 

He leaned over and put the pictures back into the folder and grabbed the book he had been reading. Laughing slightly at the terrible puzzle on the table. At least Shizuo kind of finished it.

"Oh yes. It was getting pretty good I think they were building a coffin?" he murmured as he sat back with the book. He looks down at Shizuo and lets a soft smile cross his face. He leans over, ignoring the pain in his side and kisses Shizuo ever so softly on the head. Pulling back up he strokes his face. "I wonder what my coffin will be made out of?" 

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Shizuo is laying on a grassy hill. The sun is beating down hard but he isn't hot just warm. He feels so happy and when he looks down Izaya is laying on his chest dozing under the warmth. He reaches out a hand to stroke his face and Izaya stirs. He stretches and smiled up at him. "Are you ok Shizu-chan?" he asked. Sleep still in his eyes.

Shizuo lays his head back. "Yeah I was just thinking."

"About what?" Izaya pulls himself up and rolls over so they are laying side by side and their heads are touching. Izaya reaches down and grasps Shizuos hand. 

Shizuo rolls his head over and smiles at Izaya "I was thinking about how happy I am with you."

Izaya pulls their hands together up to his lips and gently kisses Shizuos hand. "Yeah?"

Shizuo pulls his hand away and places it on Izayas cheek. "Yeah. Some might say I love you." 

Izaya smiles. His rusted eyes are so warm that Shizuo can't help but lean into them. Their lips touch and Izayas hands come up to take hold of Shizuos face. Their mouths move slow and tender against each other. Izaya whispers against his lips with a smile "I love you too."

Shizuo eyes shoot open. He is laying in his living room, it is dark out and the place is quiet. He doesn't remember falling asleep but then his head starts to pound and his eyes are stinging. He remembers now… Meredith, Izaya and that family… He realizes there is something warm under his head. He rolls his head back to see that he is in Izayas lap. 

Groaning his pushes himself up slowly. Izaya is asleep, his hands are at his sides and the book he had been reading was on his bare chest. His mouth was hanging open, gentle snoring flowing from it. Shizuo laughed softly. He gently picked up the book and folded the place were Izaya had left off. He leaned over and placed it on the table. He felt like shit but when he looked at Izaya it melted away.

Izaya had done so much for him. More than anyone ever had. Why did he do it though? Shizuo leaned over to stare at Izayas sleeping face letting the dream wash over his mind. If Izaya woke up, and he told him that he loved him, would he return those feelings? Probably not but he needed to try and see. The worst case scenario is that his world comes crashing down and he is left with nothing. Best case scenario… well that was up to Izaya.

He placed a hand gently on Izayas chest and leaned further over. He brushed his lips against Izayas cheek, letting his face rest against the others for a moment. This is what he wanted, he knew that now but he wasn't sure what to do to get it, to keep it at that. Pulling his face away he ran his hand from Izayas chest around his side and rested his head against his chest now.

Izayas skin was cool against his face. He stayed there for several moments just listened to Izayas heart beating. The same heart of the man who up until a few days ago had spent every waking moment of his life trying to kill him. He felt like his own heart was on fire. He let out a small chuckle. "Where do we go from here flea?"

He stood up as quietly as possible, taking care not to wake Izaya up. He grabbed the blanket and put it over Izaya. At the warmth of the blanket Izaya turned his head and snuggled deeper into it. Shizuo stifled a laugh. Izaya was so damn cute when he slept, this never seemed to surprise him. His crow hair was messy, mouth slowly falling back open and the way his face twitched every now and then. Dammit why couldn't he be this way all of the time? 

Then he noticed the swollen cheek and busted lip. His guilt almost knocking him to the floor. He hit Izaya because he thought bringing Meredith here was part of the 'game' he was playing. He didn't think that anymore though. The way Izaya had looked at him during Meredith's story told a story of their own. A story of feelings he couldn’t even begin to try and evaluate. Izaya made a small squeak sound and Shizuo thought his heart was going to leap out of his chest.

He better get away quick before he acted on this. He walked into the bathroom turning the knob as he closed the door so that it wouldn't be too loud. He turned on the sink and washed his face. He looked like shit too. His eyes looked swollen and his cheeks were red. If someone seen him like this they would probably think he got the shit beat out of him. After relieving himself he opened the door. 

Izaya hadn't moved from his sleeping spot. Shizuo thought about waking him up but he didn't feel it was necessary. His stomach began to growl and he realized he hadn't eaten yet. It was too late for him cook so he decided to just eat another bowl of cereal. He wasn’t too upset since he really did like cereal. 

He poured himself a bowl and sat at the bar eating quietly. The crunching of the cereal made him feel at ease. He thought about the events that took place early in the day. About the story that Meredith had told him. He thought about the dream he had too. He can't remember the last time he didn't have a nightmare. Usually when he slept his dreams where haunted by people screaming or he just didn't dream. He dropped his spoon letting it clatter to the ground when he remembered that wasn't true. He had a dream about Izaya the first time they slept in the bed together. Shit.

Izaya yawned really loud from the couch causing Shizuo to jump. He turned around to see Izaya rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Shit you startled me. Um you want something to eat?"

Izaya looked over at him and stood. He winced and Shizuo got up to meet him. "I'm fine Shizu-chan. The stitches tore a bit but it's ok. I bandaged it already. He twisted around to look at the bandage. "Sorry I didn't wake you. I got really into that damn book and fell asleep myself I guess."

Shizuo bent over to look at the bandage. "Do you need me to take a look at it? And it's fine, if you had tried to wake me up I might have bit you or something"

Izaya shook his head no but he did laugh. "I can't promise I wouldn’t have bitten back though." He stood up raising his arms to stretch. He winced but before Shizuo could say anything about it he took a step forward and fell into Shizuo. "Sorry."

Shizuo caught him and stood back up trying to steady him. "Hey what's wrong?" Shizuo grabbed his shoulders and looked in his eyes. His eyes looked sleepy still. "You should sit down. I'll fix you something to eat." He guided Izaya back to the couch.

"Sorry I think I'm just really tired." Izaya yawned again now sitting back on the couch. He looked up at Shizuo who was still waiting for an answer. "What?"

"Do you want some cereal? I can cook you something if you really want me to but it's pretty late."

"Oh yeah, no cereal is fine. Nothing sweet though, I don't know what your obsession with sugar is but I plan to outlive you." he smiled as Shizuo rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry flea, I got you the most boring cereal on the planet. Bran flakes."

Izaya clapped his hands together. "Oh yes that will do quite nicely!"

Shizuo shook his head. "I figured as much." he went back to the kitchen to start fixing him a bowl. He called out "So do you really like that book?"

Izaya picked up the book and nodded "Oh yes. I haven't read it since I was a kid. Now it seems to have a whole new meaning!"

"Wait as a kid?" Shizuo looked up from his pouring. He spilled some milk on the counter. "Dammit"

"Well Shizu-chan some of us are a little more advanced than others." he giggled at the glare Shizuo gave him.

Shizuo cleaned up his mess and walked back to the couch with the cereal. "Why do you always have to be such a dick?"

Izaya took a bite and after slowly chewing and swallowing looked back over at Shizuo who had taken a seat next to him "Well I find it is more fun that way. You aren't a saint yourself you know."

"Never claimed to be but I ain't an asshole 100% of the time though." Shizuo let out a yawn. "I am going to go to bed. Do you want me to wait for you to finish your cereal?"

Izaya looked up at him confused "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you wait for me?" he asked. 

Shizuos though he could see something else in his gaze. "I don’t know… I just though you being by yourself wasn't the best idea."

Izayas gaze turned from confused to irritated in mere seconds. "I'm not helpless. I don't need a babysitter."

Shizuo fought back a growl "Fine. I'll just go to bed." He got up and left Izaya on the couch. Before disappearing into the room he called back "If you need anything let me know…" He was too irritated to say anything else. His confessions were going to have to wait until they were both awake and in a better mood.

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Izaya sat on the couch with his bowl of cereal. He felt so tired but he was really hungry. His head still felt fuzzy from where Shizuo had hit him. After he finished the cereal he set the bowl on the table and glanced to Shizuos room. The door was still open. He was really happy when Shizuo offered to wait up for him but he didn't appreciate being treated like a helpless child.

He reached a hand to his face and winced at the bruised cheek. He was feeling even more tired now but he didn't think he could just go to sleep like this. Would Shizuo still let him in the bed even though he had snapped at him? One way to find out. He stood up and made his way over to Shizuos room. The lights were all off but he could just make out the shape in the bed. Shizuo was on his back and all the way to one side of the bed. 

He leaned against the door just starring at the shape in the bed. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to just climb in the bed and be kicked to the floor. Shizuo was awfully close to the edge though as if he was inviting him to come it. He didn't want to sleep on the couch though so he was going to risk it.

Izaya stepped in quietly and Shizuo called out of the darkness "You ok?"

Izaya stopped "Yeah. Just can't really sleep." Shizuo had startled him a little bit. 

He heard Shizuo rustle the sheet around. "Here."

Izaya slowly walked over and sat on the bed "I didn't come to sleep next to you so don't get the wrong idea. I though drawing on your face would be fun."

Shizuo snorted "Then get the fuck out."

Izaya smiled and dug himself under the sheet. The mattress felt cool against his skin causing the heat from Shizuo to be more intense. He laid on his back and rolled his head towards Shizuo "No." he said out loud.

Shizuo rolled over to face him "Then go to fucking sleep."

Izaya smiled and rolled his head back over. "Yes Shizu-chan" he said softly. He shut his eyes to go to sleep.

"Hey flea?" Shizuo spoke quietly.

Izaya rolled his head back over to meet his gaze. Shizuo was still laying on his side. "Yes?"

Shizuo ran one of his hands through his own hair "So ummmmm. Sorry for hitting you…"

Izaya didn't really know what to say. Has Shizuo ever apologized for hitting him before? He rolled his head back up to stare at the ceiling. Letting out a long sigh he smiled and looked back over at Shizuo. 

"Well I'm sure I had it coming. Always do in some way or another."

Shizuo rolled back over on his back and shuffled a little closer to Izaya. "Yeah but… not this time and not from me."

Izaya felt his skin growing warmer at how close Shizuo was to him. His stomach was doing back flips and his heart started beating quicker. He bit his bottom lip and gathered a little courage. He shuffled over a little to closer to Shizuo who let out a sound of surprise. 

"You ok flea?" he titled his head down a little to see the top of Izayas head. 

"Yeah… just a little cold…" Izaya murmured. He was so close that Shizuo felt his words on his skin. 

"Oh." the room was quiet for a while before Shizuo spoke again. "Is there anything I can do?"

Izaya swallowed feeling the bed shift as Shizuo got even closer. Their arms and sides were now touching. Izaya realized that Shizuo wasn't wearing a shirt either and this made his skin even warmer. He was frozen to the mattress now. Afraid that any sudden movement was going to make Shizuo move and he most certainly didn't want that. 

"No you are doing plenty." he half whispered. 

"Huh?" Shizuo sounded a bit confused.

"Nothing Shizu-chan just go to sleep." he muttered. Cursing himself for saying that out loud.

"Ok flea." 

Izaya thought that he could hear a hint of hurt in Shizuos voice. He also thought he felt his heart cracking a bit. He closed his eyes again and tried let the gentle sound of Shizuos breathing lull him into a deep sleep. The last thing he felt was Shizuo roll back over and his heart aching.

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He could tell Izaya had fallen asleep because when Izaya finally rolled over onto his side the gentle snores he was used to were making themselves known to him. He rolled over as well to face Izaya. His mouth was open slightly and he had curled into a ball. Shizuo reached out to touch the bruise on his face. He felt like shit about it. What if he hurt him real bad?

He scooted closer to him letting their foreheads touch. He whispered to him softly "I really am sorry I hit you flea. I just assumed that you were screwing with me again but you weren’t." he moved down and nuzzled into Izayas bare chest. He curled himself into a ball and breathed in his scent. "Is this still just a game to you?"

Izaya mumbled in his sleep something that was most definetly gibberish "Mmmmm Shtay out my room fish" he batted his hand through the air like he was trying to slap something away. He rolled over, Shizuo moved over to let Izaya roll over, facing away from him sighing in his sleep "I'm not sick now." 

Shizuo chuckled to himself. Izaya was so fucking adorable in his sleep. If he told him that it would be sudden death he was sure. He scooted back up to hold Izaya in his arms and his heart started racing as their skin melted together. He leaned his face into the crook of Izayas shoulder and gently kissed his neck. "Thank you flea." he squeezed him a bit tighter, snuggling his face into the back of his neck and let himself be pulled into sleep. 

When he woke up they were still spooning. Izaya was still snoring softly and Shizuo ran his hand from Izayas shoulder to his hand. He didn't know what time it was but the light shinning through the window was telling him it was at least after 6am. He hadn't slept that good in ages, he didn't even dream. He gently released Izaya who stirred from the movement.

"Sorry flea. I didn't mean to wake you." he said.

Izaya uncurled himself in a big stretch and rolled over on his other side to look at Shizuo. His eyes were so tired it looked like he couldn't even keep them open. His smiled slightly "Why the hell do I have to be the little spoon?"

Shizuo propped himself up with one arm and felt his face flush slightly. "Because you're so fucking small you idiot."

Izayas smile only grew wider with a big yawn. "Oh are you embarrassed? You should be after snuggling with the enemy."

Shizuo growled. "Keep it up you little shit."

Izaya seemed to take that as a challenge and laughter danced in his eyes "What do you think you are going to do? We are in your bed so please don't get any ideas!"

Shizuo didn't appreciate the joke but was going to seize this opportunity. He sat up and Izayas eyes followed him. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Izaya gulped at the look in his eyes. He had seen this once before. "What are you doin-" he was cut off.

Shizuo grabbed both of his hand and forced them into the bed above his head. He then straddled him on the bed and held him down. He leaned forward, his eyes menacing but he could see Izayas face relax realizing he wasn't really angry. "Did you forget what happened the last time I caught you flea?" 

Izayas face suddenly went pale. "Don't you fucking dare."

"Oh I dare." he replied. He quickly grasped Izayas arms next to his sides and shifted slightly so that he didn't have his full weight on the helpless informant below him. Izaya tried to break free but he squeezed his arms tighter. "What's wrong flea?"

"Get the fuck off of me you Protozan!" he shouted. Shizuo threw both of his hands up and pinned them down above his head. "Stop it!" he tried to kick but Shizuo made sure that his own feet held down his legs. Izayas eyes grew wide when he realized he couldn’t escape.

Shizuo beamed with joy at how helpless Izaya was beneath him. He forced Izayas hands into one of his and raised his other hand threateningly above Izaya side. He let his fingers graze Izayas skin up to his under arm and then wiggle threatening above it. Izaya moaned causing Shizuo to look up and suddenly he couldn’t breath. When he looked at Izayas face the informant had squeezed his eyes shut and was biting his lip in preparation for the assault. 

He was so fucking cute… So fucking helpless… and all Shizuo wanted to do was lean over and pry that lip free with his own teeth. It didn't help that Izaya was still shirtless and the pants he was wearing were hanging off his side exposing his hip bones slightly. Shizuo started to break out into insane laughter thinking that was the only way to calm himself down. He released Izayas hands. Izaya glared up at him and tried to push him off but Shizuo barely noticed in his fit of laughter. 

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya said out loud. 

The way his voice came out, a bit scared, caused Shizuo to stop laughing and look down at him. Shizuo followed Izayas gaze and felt the world shift as he discovered that he was starring at his crotch.

"Are you aroused?" Izaya asked.

Shizuo threw himself off and crashed to the floor. He laid there starring up and Izaya peered at him over the edge of the mattress. A wicked smile danced on his face and Shizuo gulped. 

"Tell you what Shizu-chan. If you promise never to assault me again with those monster hands of yours I won't spread this all over the city. Can you imagine? 'The great Beast of Ikebukeru has a hard on for the best Informant around!' The news would spread like wild fire!"

Shizuo stared at him wide eyes from the floor. He rolled over and stood up over Izaya who was still smiling as if he had won. "Like anyone would believe you."

"Oh but who wouldn’t? I'm the best informant around truly! My reputation speaks for itself you know."

"Flea?" he asked. He looked away to avoid Izayas gaze "Thank you for yesterday…"

"Whatever. It wasn't a big deal." he cocked his head to the side. 

"I know why you did it…" he said back.

Izaya sat up so fast in a panic. He looked away and muttered "I don't know what you mean."

Shizuo put a hand on his head and murmured. "Yeah you do… If you aren't the one breaking me then you won't be happy right? It's a little fucked up but still. Thanks." He noticed Izayas shoulders relax but he wouldn't meet Shizuos gaze.

"Yeah. That's it" he stood up and Shizuo stepped back to let him past. "Breaking you is all I care about" this time he did turn meet his gaze and the smile on his face looks so forced Shizuo thought he might need to slap him.

"Hey what gives?" he walked towards him.

Izaya shrugged "Nothing really I just can't believe you figured that one out." he turned to leave but Shizuo grabbed his wrist. "Let me go please."

"Not until you face me and explain that stupid look on your face." he growled. Izaya wouldn't turn but didn't fight to leave. Shizuo yanked him hard forcing him to look back. The pain in his eyes took him by surprise. "Izaya…." 

Izaya looked away "Please don’t…"

Shizuo didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say and suddenly that dream swept over his mind and he knew what he WANTED to do. Still holding onto Izayas arm he pulled him again, harder to cause Izaya to fully face him. He grabbed the back of Izayas hair with the other and forced their faces together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That cliff hanger is going to get me a lot of words from some people but I ain't sorry.


	7. Tearing Out the Stitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me forever to get it how I wanted it. I hope you love it as much as I did!

Izaya let out a small sound of surprise at the contact but didn't try to run. Instead he reached up and curled his fists into the front of Shizuos shirt. He felt as if this very kiss was his new life force and if broken that would be the end of his very existence. 

Shizuo didn't break the kiss but he carefully turned them both and pushed Izaya down into the bed. He went down with him and only when he felt like he couldn’t breath anymore did he pull up and gasp for air. Izaya was also gasping as he looked up at Shizuo. Afraid Izaya would start talking he bent down and kissed him again this time letting a soft moan escape into Izayas mouth.

Izayas lips moved against Shizuos but not in kiss. He was trying to speak now but Shizuo just shook his head against him. He didn't want to talk or listen. He wasn't really sure what he was doing right now at all. All he was sure of was that the dream he woke from the other night he would do almost anything to get it, and keep it.

Izaya pushed up and gasped "Shizuo stop. Please stop!"

Shizuo growled and started scraping his teeth across Izayas neck. "Why?" He began to work little nips down to Izayas shoulder where he bit a little harder.

Izaya arched into him moaning louder than intended. He tried to speak but the voice that came out was small and shaky "Because. I'm Izaya… and you're Shizuo…" Shizuo glided his tongue over to his collar bone and sinking his teeth in. Izaya let out a louder gasp "Fuck." 

Shizuo forced a knee between Izayas legs and began to run his hands up his sides. He whispered into his skin as he let his lips make their way back up his neck to his ear. "Don't fucking care." His hands continued up his body and wound themselves into his hair. He leaned back as he griped his hair smiling just slightly at the way Izaya winced. He leaned his face back down to continue assaulting his lips.

Izaya stopped fighting and let his own hands grasp Shizuos waist. He let his hands glide up his back digging his nails into his flesh. Shizuo groaned and pushed away again. They were both panting as Shizuo sat up. He shifted himself to fully straddle Izaya. He then leaned back down for more feeling Izaya arch his hips upward. 

He forced Izaya lips apart with his tongue and began to invade his mouth. Izayas tongue battled his for a bit before Shizuo retreated. He gently bit Izayas bottom lip and felt Izaya arch into him again. He could feel Izaya erection digging into his own and he growled with frustration. He gave Izaya another deep kiss, running his tongue over his bottom lip and pulled away again. 

He looked down at their middles touching and dug his own erection into Izayas this time. Izaya groaned and rolled his head back into the bed. The sounds he was making was driving Shizuo mad and he didn't know how much longer he was going to last before he completely destroyed Izaya. 

He placed a hand on Izayas chest and let his nails glide down to his waist, taking great care not to go over the stitches. He got to the edge of Izayas pants. He ran his fingers over the lining ready to invade. He leaned down to kiss Izayas chest as he let his fingers begin to work their way under the pants. 

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya whispered.

Shizuo looked back up from where he was on Izayas chest. Izaya had tears in his eyes now. He sat up retreating his hand and hovered over Izayas face. He placed a hand on each side of Izayas head and looked into his eyes. "Izaya?"

Izaya covered his face with his arm turning away from Shizuos gaze. "What are we doing?"

Shizuo moved his arm away, forcing Izaya to look up again, and gazed into Izayas eyes. They were full of emotion but he wasn't sure what emotion this time. He gently wiped away a tear that had formed and was sliding down his face. "I don't know anymore… Izaya… I just don't know. All I know right now is that I fucking want YOU. I don't understand it or how any of this really happened but I do." Izaya had a worried look on his face "What do you want?"

Izaya sniffed and sat up forcing Shizuo to sit back and they just sat across from each other. Shizuo tried to catch his gaze but Izaya buried his face into his knees. After a moment of silence Shizuo reached out and grasped Izaya shoulder.

Izaya looked up with a new face. No more tears just a fight in his eyes that he didn't understand. He leaned into Shizuo to kiss him. Shizuo closed his eyes with relief expecting it to keep going but it was just a light kiss. Shizuo opened his eyes and Izaya was looking past him. 

"Shizuo… I need to think."

He watched in silence as Izaya walked got up and walked out of the room. "Son of a bitch" he breathed and fell back into the bed. His mind was running wild at this point. Did Izaya not want this? What was he thinking about? Why did he cry? "Damn it. DAMN it. DAMN IT." he growled at himself. Did he fuck this up already, before he even had the balls to tell Izaya how he really felt? 

He got up and walked over to his dresser grab his cigarettes and lit one up. Sucking hard on the cancer stick he turned to sit back down. Taking a deep drag he blew it out slowly. If Izaya came back and told him he didn't want this he didn't know what he would do. He couldn't just pretend non of this had happened, it would be too much.

"Fuck it. I'm done with this shit." he stood up and put out his cigarette. He was going to march out there and just fucking tell Izaya the truth. That he loved him and that he wanted to be with him. If Izaya didn't return those feeling at least he could stop these fucking head games and try to figure his shit out. He reached for the door knob but was stopped but the sudden buzzing of his phone on the dresser.

He picked it up but didn't recognize the number. He didn't really want to answer it but for some reason he did. 

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hello, Is Izaya available?" asked the voice.

"The hell is this?" Shizuo asked. He didn't know this voice.

"This is Shiki. Can you just tell him Shiki is calling." the man replied.

Shiki… that name sounded familiar. "How the hell did you get my number?" he growled.

"This is Shizuo right? That doesn't matter. I need Izaya for a job." 

Shizuo pulled the phone away running that sentence in his head a few times before talking. "A job?"

"Yes. Now is he available?" Shiki was started to sound impatient.

"Let me ask you something Shiki. Does he often do jobs for you?" Shizuo asked. His voice was starting to shake and the gears in his head were spinning out of control.

Shiki sighed into the phone "I don't know why you need to know that. Just have him call me. Have a good day Shizuo. Oh and remind that informant that he owes me a favor when you talk to him." Shiki hung up.

Shizuo closed the phone and stood there for a moment. He felt his blood slowly begin to bubble. Shiki. That was the man that gave Tom the Groundhog assignment… Izaya owed this man a favor… And then things started to click into place in his head. 

Hopefully no one else needed to get a hold of him. He broke the phone in his hand. He got up and threw his door open. He stomped into the living room and glared at Izaya on the couch. Izaya looked up shocked and went to say something but Shizuo spoke before a word could be said.

"Get. Out." he said. He was trying, trying with everything he had, not to break the man on his couch. The man that minutes before he had pinned to his bed. The man that moments before he was going to confess his love for. The man that had broken him in a way that no one ever has.

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Izaya was sitting on the couch. He was trying to decide what to do next. Just a few minutes ago he was under Shizuo who was kissing him. Shizuo had confessed that he wanted him. Never in a million years did he expect that to happen. Izaya put his hand on his chest trying to calm himself down. Shizuo wanted HIM! He wanted him too but was that enough? With their past was wanting each other enough to erase it?

It had to be he decided. Yesterday he was perfectly content with never revealing his feelings to Shizuo and forever admiring from afar. Now that he knew Shizuo wanted something different he knew that he couldn't do that anymore. He was going to go back in there and tell him the truth. Tell him that he loves him and he DID want him. What ever Shizuo felt he was going to find out and it was either going to destroy them both or reconstruct them into something new. Either way was terrifying but he wasn't going to back down.

Suddenly the bedroom door flew open and Shizuo stomped in. Shizuo glared at him with such fierceness Izaya felt his pulse cease to exist. He opened his mouth to speak but the look Shizuo gave him stole his voice. 

"Get. Out." he said.

Izaya starred up at him in shock. "What?"

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" he screamed. 

Izaya stood up and started to reach out for him. "Shizu-chan what-" Shizuo slapped his hand away causing a shooting pain to race up his arm.

"Don’t fucking touch me! Was it all really just a sick fucking game to you!?" he shouted. His words full of so much pain that it felt like darts piercing Izayas skin. "I can’t believe I actually fell for it! You aren't capable of caring about anyone but yourself!"

The room had started to wobble "I don't understand! What are you talking about!" Izaya tried desperately to understand.

Shizuo threw the remains of his phone at him so hard that it grazed his ear shattering completely into the wall. Izaya cringed as he felt blood slide down his neck from it. "Shiki just fucking called about the 'favor' you owe him!"

Izaya looked lost and felt afraid "And?"

"Don't fucking 'and' me! I know! I know everything now!" he screamed back.

"Again I don't know what you are talking about!" he cried. Tears began to spill from his eyes. "Just please calm down and let's talk!"

Shizuo stepped forward grabbing his throat. "Stop fucking lying for once in your pathetic life. I know that this whole thing was a set up! From the Groundhog, to you saving me all the way to you faking that shit about permeant damage!" He threw Izaya down. "I can't believe you would use Merideth in this fucking game. That's low even for you."

Izaya starred up from the floor in disbelief "You think I had anything to do with that night?"

Shizuo stood over him and grabbed him by the hair. He started to drag him across the apartment "I know you did! It all makes sense! That's why we ran into each other that night. What did you do? Pay those guys to 'almost' kill you? I have to admit you are so fucking great at this shit but no more!" He tossed Izaya at the door. "IM FUCKING DONE!"

Izaya slammed into the door slid down the door groaning. "Shizuo you have it wrong…" the wound in his side opened again and blood was welling up around it. "Please just calm down…. Please"

Shizuo knelt down and growled into his face. "Then tell me the truth! What is right Izaya?!" His eyes looked desperate and Izaya looked away. 

"I can't tell you… Not like this…" He wanted more than anything to tell Shizuo that he loved him. But if he told him here and now he was afraid that he wouldn't believe him. He was afraid that Shizuo would just think it was an excuse to get away. He needed to explain that he had nothing to do with the Groundhog thing first. That Shiki looked up Meredith and that was the favor he owed. So he just repeated what he said hoping that it would calm him down and get through to him. "You have it all wrong Shizuo. Just calm down and then we can talk." He winced as Shizuo slammed his hands on the door by his face.

"No. You have it wrong. Jokes on you, you piece of shit. I talked to Namie when I went out that fucking day. She told me everything. That you were fine and were just staying here to drive me crazy!"

Izaya was shocked. The tears that were streaming down his face stopped immediately. "Then why did you let me stay?"

Shizuo smiled wickedly. "To drive you crazy first. You think I actually wanted to cuddle you at night? I knew you were awake that first night. Holding your hand on the couch? Yeah right!" he started to laugh "And from the way you gave into me kissing you back there I'd say it fucking worked."

Izaya swallowed hard. Shizuo knew… He was playing all along… Just a few minutes ago in the room…. He stood up against the door leaving Shizuo on the ground "I see…" He placed his hands on Shizuos head gently and with as much force as he could muster he kneed him in the face. "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU PROTOZAN YOU DAMM MONSTER!" 

Shizuo fell back and blood was welling from his nose. He screeched and tackled Izayas legs causing him to fall over his shoulder. Izaya balled up his fists and starting slamming them across Shizuos back. It only angered him even more. Shizuo stood up with Izaya slung over his shoulder. Izaya kept flailing trying to get free. He bit Shizuo back in a desperate attempt to get free. Shizuo tore him off and threw him across the room at the couch.

Izaya landed with a hard thud and rolled into the floor. The blood was coming more from his side and he felt his leg tear. His eyes darting around the room trying to come up with a plan. Shizuo seemed to be stalking his prey as he walked slowly over to him. Izaya could see his own blood on Shizuo where his side had bled on him. Izaya spotted his coat hanging on the bar stool. Shizuo started to get closer and Izaya tried to crawl over to it. Ever muscle in his body screaming. A scream escaped from his throat as Shizuo stepped on his hand.

"Where are you going Flea?" Shizuo looked over at Izayas coat. "What? Do you think you're going to make it over there to cut me?" 

Izaya glared up "Yeah I do!" He grabbed Shizuos leg with his free hand and drug himself to it. He bit down as hard as he could. Shizuo screamed in pain before trying to shake him off. When he moved his foot from Izayas hand Izaya grabbed onto his leg and refused to let go.

"Get the fuck off!" Shizuo dropped down and wiggled his fingers into Izayas mouth forcing him to release. 

Izayas gazed up as Shziuo dug his hands into his mouth. Letting out a growl he released and grinned up hatefully. "Why? You didn't complain when I left that bite on your neck last time." He spit blood up into Shizuo face.

"You bastard!" Shizuo yelled. 

Izaya seized his moment and rolled away from Shizuo moments before his fist slammed through the floor where his face was. He got up and limped quickly over to his coat retrieving his knife. He flicked it out and pointed it right at Shizuo. Shizuo had already collected himself and was half way to him when the blade flew out. 

"You know something. I can't believe I actually though you were someone else." Shizuo growled.

Izaya took a slow step forward. "Then you are a real fucking moron" he took another step. He winced at the step from his leg wound. Blood was soaking through the pants now.

"Me?" Shizuo reached out a hand so fast Izaya didn't even see it happen. He grasped Izayas hand and forced him back into the bar with his own body weight. Izayas spine hit the corner of the bar and he cried out. He slammed Izayas hand repeatedly into the edge of the bar causing him to drop the knife. "You're the one who thought he could stab me in my own home." 

Izaya couldn’t break his hand free. He went to bite Shizuo again but Shizuo saw it coming and head butted him right in the face. He cried out in pain and started to see stars but Shizuo didn't stop there. He reached his hand down and griped Izayas side. Izaya gasped in pain as he squeezed. 

"Why did I even bother with these stitches?" he growled. He squeezed harder causing Izaya start screaming in pain. "If I would have let you fucking die non of this would have happened!"

"YOU FUCKING MONSTER!"

"Maybe I should rip them out?" He dung a finger under the stitches.

"Shizuo stop! Fucking stop it!" he screamed at Shizuo. "I swear I'll fucking kill you!"

Shizuo glanced at him "Kill me?" he growled. He retracted his hand from the stitches and placed it on Izayas throat. Blood was all over his throat now from where Shizuo had collected it from his side. Izaya started choking as he squeezed. He added his other hand and Izaya started to go limp.

Izayas tried to reach up and pry the hands away but couldn't. This was it. Everything was over but despite everything that had just happened his heart was still breaking. He looked into Shizuo cold eyes and choked out with a twisted smile "Do. It." 

Shizuo squeezed harder and he was sure his neck was going to snap. Izaya closed his eyes ready to die when Shizuo let go suddenly. Izaya dropped to the floor choking. Shizuo walked over to the door and opened it. "Get the fuck out… I never want to see you again."

Izaya was gasping on the floor. Shizuo threw his jacket in his face. He pulled it on with great effort and stood up. Izaya spoke grimly "Don't worry… You never will…" He stepped past Shizuo. He walked out slamming the door behind him. Only when the door shut did he let himself break. Tears streaming down his face hot. He looked back at the door and let the saddest smile show "This is it huh? I didn't even fucking do anything this time…" 

He limped to the elevator. When he pressed the button blood remained on the down arrow. He smeared more on the first floor icon inside and rode it down to the lobby. The tears were falling on his bare feet. He didn't even grab shoes when he left, all he grabbed was this stupid jacket. He stepped out of the elevator and tried to make his way to the exit quickly. A voice stopped him before he got too far.

"Milk man!" it was the burly woman from the desk. When she seen his face she got up and ran to him. He looked like shit, bloodied and bruised up. "What is it!?"

He looked up at her and shrugged trying to hide the pain. "He didn't feel the same way…"

She starred for a moment and growled like a rabid animal "Then he is wrong!"

He shook his head sadly "No he is right. I am an idiot to think that he could ever feel the same. After all the shit that I put him through I can't blame him. Now he is gone forever…" she looked him up and down taking a step closer. "Please don't. I just need to go now…" Tears were streaming down his face again. "I don't want to be anywhere near here…"

She reached her hands up to hold his face causing him to wince from pain "Love is complicated. Do not let anyone tell you it is easy because you have to fight for it."

He grabbed her hands while more tears were starting "I did fight for it. I just lost."

She wiped tears from his eyes with her thumbs. "Did you tell him that you loved him?"

He looked at her "No… what's the point? He wouldn't believe me even if I did."

She shook her head determined. "Make him."

"You don't understand… There is no making that man do anything." he pushed her away. "It's over, I am alone and he is alone. That is how it should be anyway" he started to limp to the exit. "I told you before that I was a fool. I should've kept my heart closed. It's easier that way." he exited the building.

She looked at the elevator with anger now "This is not finished."

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Shizuo walked over to the couch to sit but the rage was so strong he had to get it out. He picked up his coffee table and hurled it across the room. It hit the bar stools splintering them into several pieces. The puzzle flew all over the place and the pictures Izaya had gathered floated to the floor. He sunk into the couch and started to sob.

Why did he fall for it!? Why did he let himself ever think that Izaya could be someone else!? Why did he let himself completely fall in love with him!? He noticed the book on the floor by his feet and picked it up. He screamed "Fuck!" he tore it in half throwing it at the front door. Then there was a loud knock.

He walked over flinging it open to see the owner standing there. She pushed past him into the apartment and stood looking around. Her hands on her hips and he could see that she was pissed. He was in such a rage that he didn't give a damn.

"Look I'm sorry about the noise. I'll keep it down but right now I need you to fucking leave." he growled.

She turned on him and pushed a sharp finger into his chest "That man is in love with you!"

"What are you talking about!?" he moved past her to sit on the couch. "Just leave me alone dammit!"

"Not until you hear what I have to say you dumb man!" she yelled. She walked over to him and spoke. "He loves you and you beat the shit out of him? Why?! The milkman doesn't deserve that!"

"If you're talking about Izaya that bastard loves no one!" he shouted. "And you're right he doesn't deserve that! I deserves so much worse. All he cares abou-" 

She slapped him hard across the face stunning him. "Fool! He does love you!" he starred at her in shock. "He might be the only person that can love someone like you." she walked over to the door. "Did you even look into his eyes when you were trying to kill him? If you did then maybe you would have see it there!"

"If he loved me he wouldn't have betrayed me!" he yelled. 

She stopped and glared back such a glare that Shizuo felt the whole room disappear. "They only one he betrayed was himself by falling in love with a monster like you." she slammed the door shut and left. Those words seemed to float around the room digging there way into his brain.

Shizuo starred after her. He fell back onto the couch and just sat and he starred. There was no way that she was right. If Izaya loved him then he would have said something from the start. Shizuo hunched over and watched tears form little puddles on the floor. He couldn't stop crying and now he felt like his heart was trying to tear itself out of his chest. The owners final words just kept screams in his head.

"Why dammit!" he shouted. "Why did you do it!?" he punched his leg in anger. "Why do you make me feel this way Izaya!" He continued to punch his leg until the pain was stronger than the ache in his heart. "Why did you finally break me?"

After a while of drowning in himself he stood up and limped to the kitchen. His foot kicked Izayas blade on the floor. He bent down to pick it up. Feeling even more pain in his chest.

He walked over and threw it in the trash can. 

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Izaya managed to find someone to lend them a phone. He called Shiki first when he was outside the building.

"Hello?" Shiki answered.

"I heard you needed me?" he asked quietly. 

There was a long pause before Shiki responded. "Izaya. You don't sound right. I need you for a job but only if you can do it with a clear head."

Izaya laughed into the phone "Has my head ever really been clear Shiki?"

"Does this have to do with Shizuo?"

Izaya almost threw the phone "Did you know he actually thought I came up with a plan to have the Groundhogs men almost kill me? He wouldn't even let me explain anything!"

Shiki didn't laugh "Why would he think that?"

"Because apparently you were the one who gave that job. So all of the pieces of his shitty puzzle clicked together. Fucking idot… He can't even do a puzzle…" This time Izayas voice cracked. 

Shiki remained collected "Izaya I think that I will get that favor from you at a later date. I can't have you broken like this trying to preform a job."

"Yeah. Thanks a fuck ton." he hung up on Shiki. 

Next he called Namie for a ride home. She just sounded annoyed as ever and agreed to come pick him up. He tossed the phone back to the stranger he had borrowed it from and sat on the side walk waiting until Namie pulled up. He limped forward and climbed in the passenger seat. Winced as he leaned back into it.

After they pulled out he just watched the apartment disappear through the window. It felt like some shitty music video. Namies voice broke his thoughts. 

"Not that I give a shit but do you want to talk?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the road.

Izaya crossed his arms and tried to shrink into the seat. "Nothing to talk about. I fucked him over, he found out, end of story."

Namie sighed "Yeah sure…"

The rest of the car ride was in silence. When they pulled up to his apartment he turned to Namie "Thanks. Do you want to come in?"

Namie looked out the window up at the door. "Not really, I'm on vacation and now I have blood to clean out of my car."

Izaya chuckled a bit. "Yeah that sounds about right. Sorry."

He got out of the car and limped up to his door. He grabbed a key from a plant next to the steps and made his way inside. The apartment was very big, clean and very empty. He limped over to his couch and plopped down. He needed a fucking nap. He felt like his whole body and been thrown through meat grinder. 

He rolled into the couch and curled himself into a tight ball. The pain he felt all over his body was no where near as strong as the pain in his chest. He didn't even feel the tears coming but here they were soaking through his fine leather couch. He started crying and couldn’t stop. It was fine though. Once he let it all out maybe he could move on and put everything behind him. 

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A black car pulled up to a run down apartment building. The driver got out and walked to the back door to open it for the passenger. A tall man in a white suit stepped out. A few men tried to follow but he waved them back "No I'll be fine. Just wait here."

The man entered the lobby and a burly woman from the counter starred accusingly. He strode over "Excuse me miss. Can you tell me what apartment Mr. Shizuo Heiwajima lives in?"

The woman squinted her eyes at him "Why?"

"Because I owe him an explanation." he said matter of fact. 

She continued eyeing him with suspicion but shrugged. "That man is trouble but he is in apartment 3F. Be carful he might break your pretty face."

The man nodded and bowed "Thank you."

As he walked away to the elevator she leaned over the counter to watch him. "That is one nice piece of pie." she cooed.

He rode the elevator up to the third floor taking notice of the blood on the buttons. He made his way down the hall. He knocked on the door and waited a few moments. When no one answered he found it unlocked and let himself in. The apartment looked like a tornado had raged through. He stepped over broken furniture and closed the door behind him. 

There was a man lying on the couch. He had a nasty bite mark on his back and a few bruises. All seemed to be fresh. When he walked closer the man slowly rolled over. His face was red and eyes were swollen. He looked like shit. His eyes grew wide and angry and he sat up.

"Oi, who the hell are you?" he asked.

"Excuse the intrusion. I did knock but there was no answer. Shizuo Heiwajima I presume?"

"Yeah. Now who the fuck are you?" he growled.

"Shiki." he replied.

Shizuo shot up off the couch and took a threatening step towards him. Shiki didn't even flinch. "I wouldn't do that if I were you Shizuo. I have a dozen men outside who really wouldn't like seeing me scuffed up. I know how strong you are but I don't think you would survive the ray of bullets."

Shizuo stopped and glared. "Then get the fuck out so we don't have to upset them."

Shiki walked around him and took a seat. Shizuo must have guessed he wasn't leaving and sat next to him angrily.

"You see Shizuo I feel like I need to explain some things to you. Once I have said my piece I will leave here and you can do what ever you want." Shiki said.

"What ever. Spit your shit out so you can leave." Shizuo growled.

Shiki sighed. "You see Izaya is indeed an acquaintance of mine. But that's just it. I need information and he gets it to me." 

"Don't care. Get out." Shizuo growled.

Shiki chuckled "I'll make this quick I promise. Izaya can't work for me if his mind is broken."

Shizuo looked confused but still irritated. "Broken? The concussion thing was well over exaggerated. Did he fool you too with it?" 

Shiki waved a hand dismissively. "I am not talking about a physical injury. I am talking about his emotions. You see he has informed me that you think he staged the whole Groundhog thing with me. I am here to assure you that is not the case."

Shizuo growled "Why should I believe you?"

Shiki smiled "Because I am an honest man who honestly doesn't have time to clean up this kind of mess."

"You better start making sense now before I get even more pissed off."

Shiki laughed a little at the threat. "You think that Izaya did everything on purpose right?" Shizuo just looked away and Shiki continued. "I can guarantee that he didn't. In all the years that I have known him he has never once called ME for help at someone else's expense. That Meredith girl?" Shizuos gaze darted to him at the name. "I gave him the intel on where to find her. That is it nothing more. That is the favor he owes me for."

Shizuo thought hard "So then… What you're telling me is that he didn't know about the Groundhog…"

Shiki shook his head "Not a thing. Of course as an informant I am sure he knew he existed. However, I never asked him to help on that matter. I just used you to take care of it for me. You're employer Tom said he was sure you could handle a rough job."

Shizuo stomped his foot "FUCK! So then…. Izaya had nothing to do with almost dying and… him ending up in my apartment was just a fluke"

Shiki stood up and brushed off his pant legs. "I think you finally understand. Would you like to use my phone to contact Izaya?"

Shizuo shook his head angrily. Fresh tears had begun streaming down his face. "I'm sure I am the last person he wants to talk to right now…I did some things… fuck I said some things that I can't take back."

Shiki walked over to the door. "You never know. He could be in just as bad shape as you right now."

Shizuo clenched his fists in his lap with rage and Shiki left. On his way back down he sighed "The heart is a real screwed up thing."

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Shizuo sat on the couch still clenching his fists in anger. Was it true? Did Izaya really have nothing to do with it? If that was the case then what else was true? He reached a hand to his lips. Those kisses? The pain in his eyes? The childish laughter? Was all of it real? Shizuo stood up and kicked the couch. "Why didn't I fucking listen!?" He kept kicking over and over until it smashed the book shelf behind it. It splintered into a thousand pieces. He dropped to his knees "Why did I let my anger take over again and push him away!"

He was shaking now, tears falling and collecting on his thighs. If he had just shut up and listened maybe Izaya would still be here. Now it's all fucked up. Mories words echoed in his head "Be honest with him and yourself" He hunched over letting the tears and sadness take over.

He had no idea how long he had stayed in the floor like this. He was hungry but didn't feel like eating. His eyes burned and he was exhausted now. 

He got up and walked to the bedroom. He stood at the door starring at the empty bed. He walked over and crawled in feeling ice cold. He didn't know how he was going to fall asleep. He had only slept here with Izaya a few times before but now with out him here it was just so cold and empty. He rolled over and ran his hand across the empty mattress. 

"I'm sorry flea. Maybe it really is better this way. I am just a monster who can only cause destruction. If we did try this who knows how many times I would have hurt you." he rolled back over on his back. He laid there starring at the ceiling. He wanted to sleep but he couldn’t. All he could think about was Izaya. Izayas eyes, Izayas laugh, Izayas smile, fuck just Izaya. All of him he just thought about all of him. 

He growled and got back up. He needed a shower. Maybe if the water was hot enough he could wash it all away?

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Izaya had cried and laid on the couch for hours. He felt so empty now, empty and dead inside. He finally got up and walked over to his desk and sat in his computer chair. Gazing across his empty apartment he didn't feel anything anymore. 

His apartment was one of the nicest ones in Shinjuku. His living room was the size of Shizuos entire apartment. He had very modern black furniture and bookcases everywhere filled with marvelous knickknacks and old books. His desk sat infront of a HUGE window that over looked the city. Perfect for his people watching. He had an entire upstairs where his own bedroom was located.

He spun around in his chair hoping to cheer himself up but it was useless. He went back to his computer and he stared at the 'enter password' screen. He didn't feel like checking his emails or even the chatrooms he was used to prowling for information or just entertainment. He decided to just go to bed instead but he needed a shower first. 

He went upstairs to his room that felt cold. His room was full of character, his character. Black and sleek with a small desk in the corner for late night work. He even had a vanity that fit up against the wall. He made his way into the master bath which was the size of Shizuos entire living room. 

He flicked a light on and smiled at the ridiculous size of his bathroom. He had a full walk in shower, a double sink with large mirror and huge linen closet. Nothing at all like Shizuos. He turned on the water and slowly undressed. He shrugged his jacket to the floor and let the pants fall.

He sat on the toilet and looked at the stitches on his leg. They seemed a little angry still but the blood had dried up. He ran a hand over them squeezing his leg gently to feel the pain. 

This pain was easier to feel than what was threatening his heart again. He punched the sink ledge to banish his feelings. He cried out from the pain. His hand was really bruised from where Shizuo had banged it into the counter. Nothing seemed broken since he could move it but it hurt like a son of a bitch. 

He looked in the mirror at the stitches on his side. Would this leave a scar? Of course it would and it would be a constant reminder of Shizuo Hewajima. The stitches in his side were crusted with dried blood from where they had fought. A few of the stitches were loose now too. Would this wound ever even heal?

He starred at his busted up face and his eyes traveled to his neck where there were small marks from not only Shizuos hands but also his teeth. He turned away angrily trying not to think about the moment Shizuo made those damn marks. With any luck they would heal fast and he wouldn't have to think about that ever again.

He stepped into the shower and flinched as the scalding water hit his skin. It burned but he didn't bother to turn it cooler. He wanted to feel the burn, wanted to feel the pain of something else. He was going to be doing a lot of this for a while. He dropped down to the shower floor and sat there. He didn't feel like standing anymore and he hunched over letting the water beat down on his head. 

He watched as blood and water swirled around in the drain. He reached over after a few minutes and grabbed his shampoo and squirted some in his palm. He sniffed it and let out a small chuckle "This smells nothing like yours." he ran it through his hair slowly. He then lent back slightly letting it all rinse out. He starred as the bubbles made their way to the drain and he just watched them swirl until they were no more. Why couldn't these feeling wash away so easy?

He let himself sit for a while more and then got up. He grabbed his soap and started to scrub his body. He laughed slightly at the memory of fighting in the bathroom with Shizuo. He started to get mad that he was still thinking about him and scrubbed harder. He grazed the would in his side and dropped the soap. He kicked the wall of the shower and shut off the water. "Dammit!"

He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waste. He went to the linen closet to grab some fresh bandages to put on his wounds. He collected some supplies and limped to his bedroom. He had a king sized bed that was fully loaded with sheets, pillows and a huge comforter. He dropped his towel and sat on the edge spreading the bandages next to him.

He first rubbed some ointment on his leg and taped some gauze on it. He did this with his side next. He then stood knocking the rest of the supplies to the floor. He'd clean it up later. He walked over to the side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He didn't even bother to dress himself. He didn't really care. His wet hair cold against his face and pillow. He curled into a ball under the covers and tried to go to sleep but the images of Shizuo kept jumping in his mind. He rolled over on his stomach and buried his face into his pillow. 

He woke up the next morning with a start. He rolled over to curl into Shizuo and realized he was at home, alone, in his own bed. The day before wasn't just a nightmare. He sat up shivering. He scolded himself for not getting dressed after his shower. He threw off the covers and went to his walk in closet. Flicking on the light he was greeted with rows of black clothing. 

He grabbed a shirt and pants from some hangers. He opened a few drawers to collect a belt, underwear and socks. He tossed everything on the bed and grabbed a comb from atop his vanity. He combed his hair out real good before getting dressed. He sat on the bed and pulled on his underwear and then his pants. He stood up and shrugged on his shirt and tucked it into to his pants before zipping them up.

He worked his belt through the loops and fastened it. He sat back down and worked his socks on. He felt like such a robot. Every movement felt so fake. He needed a change of scenery. He walked back to the vanity and put his silver rings on. God he missed these rings, he couldn't remember why he wasn't wearing them before. He went downstairs, collected his coat and decided to go for a walk. Admiring his humans was sure to make him feel better right?

He walked a few blocks letting the wind from the breezy day ruffle his hair. He smiled at the smell of the city. Everything felt like it was slowly starting to move again. He stopped and took another deep breath "Now then. Where to go from here?" He shoved his hands in his coat pocket and felt for his knife in one pocket. He cursed as he realized he left it on Shizuos floor. But in the other pocket his hand gripped a piece of paper.

He pulled it out to examine it. It was a drycleaner receipt. He crumbled it in his hand and threw it on the ground. He started to walk again when someone shouted at him "Hey you can't do that!"

He turned around to see and officer storming over to him. He knelt down and picked up the receipt. He thrust it into Izaya chest. "Do that again and you will receive a hefty fine."

Izaya rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Yes officer. Now be a good police man and catch that man about to rob that convenient store please. I'd hate to think that he might hurt one of my precious humans."

The officer looked confused when an alarm went off behind him. He turned to see a man running out with a woman behind him screaming "Catch that man!" the officer looked back at Izaya who just shrugged. "I know how to watch people that’s all."

Izaya walked away before the officer could say anything. He looked at the receipt with irritation he started to crumble it up again when he noticed writing on it. He stopped and unfolded it to read. 'Be honest with him and you'll be surprised where that will take you both.' Izaya felt his whole world shift. 

What did this mean? Why would the dry cleaner leave a note like this? His heart felt like is was pounding loud enough to shake the ground. There was a small, very small voice yelling at him in his mind. Suddenly his body and voice moved on it's own. He looked around and spotted the officer arresting the robber of the store. He ran over to him.

"Officer can I use your phone please!?" he called out.

The officer glared at him "What?"

Izaya stopped and repeated himself "Let me use your phone please it is an emergency."

The officer huffed and dug out his phone. "Make it quick."

"Thank you." Izaya plucked it from his hand and called Namie. "Hello Namie I need a ride. Sorry to interrupt your time with your brother. FINE. Finish and pick me up. I'll pay you a whole extra three days." He hung up and handed it back to the officer. "Thank you good man."

The officer rolled his eyes and took the phone. "Yeah what ever. Get out here before I find a reason to arrest you."

Izaya smiled and put his hands up "Yes sir. But do keep a watch on that man. Seems he has a knife in his boot."

The officer turned just in time to see the man trying to go for the knife and kicked him in the legs. He turned back to say something to Izaya but he was gone.

Izaya was running down the street. He was now on a time crunch. He had to make a stop before going back to his apartment and waiting for Namie.

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Shizuo had already gotten up. He didn't bother changing out of his sweats and tee. He had no plans to go anywhere today. He made himself a nice plate of crunchy eggs and decided to rewatch the movie he had rented for the third time. Watching stupid people die seemed like a good idea. He got about half way through the movie when he remembered Izaya snuggling up to him during the film. 

He smiled to himself sadly knowing that would never happen again. He curled up into the side of the couch seeking just a little bit of warmth resembling the flea. He knew it was pathetic but he felt so alone now. He frowned, why did he have to feel so alone. After making it through the night without him he knew he could do it. He could go back to the way things were. He had no choice he had to go back to the way things were. 

There was a knock at the door. Shizuo looked up and rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to answer it, the door was locked and he didn't feel like talking. The knock came again. He sat up and watched the door. Hopefully whoever it was would assume he wasn't home and go away. There was a strange sound now, it wasn't knocking but something was moving against the door. 

He slowly stood up and tiptoed to the door. When he got up to it a folded piece of paper slide under the door. He quietly knelt down to pick it up. He unfolded it and felt his heart leap out of his chest 'Can we still make spaghetti?' He threw the door open with no more hesitation and a familiar beat up man in a fur trimmed coat stood there starring up at him.

Before Izaya could say a word he grabbed him and hugged him tight. Izaya wrapped his arms around him in turn. He heard something fall to the ground but didn't bother looking. He didn’t care. He felt Izaya bury his face in his chest as his hands gripped his back. They stood in the door like this for several moments.

Shizuo rested his head on top of Izayas and murmured softly "I'm so sorry Flea…I'm a monster…"

Izaya shook his head against Shizuos chest. "No I'm sorry."

Shizuo pulled them both into the apartment and used his back to close the door. He was afraid to let go incase Izaya disappeared. He gripped him tighter feeling his heart swell. He then noticed the front of his shirt was wet. Izaya must be crying now. He gathered the courage and pushed up away a little bit to look at his face. Izaya gazed up and was indeed crying. 

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"I don't know… because I don't want to go again…" Izaya smiled through his tears. 

Shizuo felt his face glow red. Izaya was so fucking cute right now. Even with his busted lip and now black eye. Those puffy eyes were enough to punch Shizuo right in his damn soul. He forced him back into his chest and whispered into his head "You idiot. Do you think I am ever going to let you go again?"

Izaya vibrated under Shizuos head. He was laughing. "I guess you always did chase after me huh?"

Shizuo smiled "Yeah. But you always ran."

He felt Izaya grip tighter again "Why didn't you shut the door on me after everything" Izaya asked. Shizuo could hear just the smallest hint of fear in his voice. He turned his head so that his ear was on Shizuos chest.

Shizuo sighed. "Well, the crazy landlord lady talked to me, as did Shiki…"

Izaya pushed back quickly and looked up "Shiki?"

"Yeah I guess he needs you in top shape to do that work you do for him. He explained a few things to me as well. What about you? Why did you come back after I almost killed you?"

Izaya rested his head back on his chest. "There was a note in my pocket from the dry cleaner you took my jacket too. Told me to be honest."

Shizuo chuckled. "Morie huh? Yeah he told me the same thing. Why do we bother lying Izaya?"

He felt Izaya take a deep breath "Not anymore." 

"What?" Shizuo felt Izaya push away and fought himself not to tighten his grip. Izaya pushed back and looked up at him with a smile that took away his breath. Even though he was all beat to hell and his eyes were a little red the look in his eyes was something he had only ever seen once. He felt like he was going to drown in that gaze.

"Not anymore Shizu-chan. My feelings made themselves known to me a while ago. I didn't want to say it before because I didn't know how you felt and I didn't want to say it during our last fight incase you didn't believe me." He stood back a bit and reached both hands to hold Shizuos face. "Shizuo Heiwajima. I love you."  
�Shizuo was stunned.…He went to say something but Izayas lips crashed into his and the words were lost. Izaya pushed him up against the door and Shizuo thought Izaya was going to suck his lips off his face with intensity of the kiss. He ran his hands up Izayas back, past the furred hood and through his hair. Izaya groaned as he made fists into his hair. 

Shizuo pushed him back and they were both gasping. He swallowed trying to calm down. "Izaya wait. Calm down." Izaya tried to pull Shizuo back down but Shziuo grabbed his hands and forced them away holding them tight. "CALM down"

Izaya gave a panicked face . "Why?"

Shizuo smiled "Because I already told you I ain't letting you go again so you don't need to be so desperate."

Izaya gave him an angry look "Desperate? You're the one who dragged me in here" Izaya turned and looked around. For the first time he seemed to notice the broken apartment. "I like what you've done with the place by the way."

Shizuo growled "Yeah well. I was a little pissed off yesterday."

Izaya smiled up at him "OH? Couldn't handle me not being here."

Shizuo growled and gently kissed him "Something like that" he said against his lips. He was almost hesitant to do so incase Izaya tried to murder his face again. But the kiss was gentle.

He felt like time was no longer moving. Like if it was raining the rain would have just stopped for them to walk around. With great effort he pulled away and walked over to the couch. "I was watching that movie again… Do you want to watch it with me?" He sat down picking up the remote to restart the film.

Izaya smiled and nodded. He opened the front door and Shizuo shot up off the couch in a panic "Calm down Shizu-chan. I just need to get my bags that I dropped out here."

Shizuo sat down slowly and watched him with worry. "Oh…"

Izaya came back in with two grocery bags. Shizuo looked questiongly at them. "I didn't think you had gotten the right stuff to make decent spaghetti so I stopped by the store on my way over." 

Shizuo sat back down slowly. "Well thanks…"

Izaya set everything on the counter and stepped over the broken bar stools back to the door where he took off his shoes and socks. He shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the broken bar stools since there really wasn’t a good place to hang it anymore. He shrugged and stepped over the coffee tablet to get to the couch. "Goodness. You really tore the place up a bit!"

Shizuo crossed his arms huffing "I told you I was pissed."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shizuo had already restarted the movie when Izaya sat on the couch. He sat close to Shizuo but apparently that wasn't close enough. Shizuo shifted so that his back was against the arm of the couch and he pulled Izaya in. Izaya didn't protest even though it aggravated his injuries. He turned and let Shizuos strong arms wrap around him dragging him up between his legs. He let his back rest against Shizuos chest. Once he was settled he grabbed Shizuos arms and held onto them.

Shizuo had one leg on the couch and the other over the edge on the floor. Izaya leaned his head back into Shizuos neck. He could feel his heart beating against his back and he smiled. The screams from the TV caught his attention. He turned his head to watch. It was the same scene he has seen last time. A box, blood and deformed demons. He squeezed Shizuos arms tighter and felt Shizuo move. 

Shizuo pulled an arm away and bushed his hair back. He kissed the top of his head and murmured "You ok?" 

Izaya felt his heart squeezing in his chest. He sat up slightly and turned his head to look at Shizuo. When their eyes met it was as if an electric current shot straight through his chest. His breath hitched as Shizuo tilted his head with a warm smile that reached his eyes. Izaya felt like he was about to drown in that gaze when Shizuo cupped his chin and tilted his head back for a gentle kiss.

Izaya gave in completely turning and reaching a hand up to grip Shizuos hair. He pulled so that the kiss was deepened. Shizuo grunted at the pull making Izaya smile against his lips. He always loved making Shizuo grunt or growl. He rotated dragging his hand from Shizuos hair down his neck and curling both fists into the front of his shirt. He pulled so that he could fully turn. He was now turned over using his hands on Shizuos chest to support him. 

Shizuos arms were left digging into his back. Suddenly Shizuo started to sit up surprising Izaya and taking him with him. Shizuo moved them to the other end of the couch so that he was on top of Izaya. Izaya was pinned to the couch and Shizuo pulled away slowly leaving Izaya confused and hungry for more. 

Shizuo gazed down at him with a sly smile "Was this part of your plan flea?"

Izaya felt a small panic burst in his chest "What do you mean?"

Shizuo leaned down to kiss his neck. He rolled his head back as Shizuo trailed soft kissed up and back to his lips. "Causing me to become addicted to you like this." he pulled away again to stare at Izaya.

Izaya felt his panic melt away so fast. He reached up and pulled Shizuo back down to whisper in his ear before gently biting it "I could ask the same of you Shizu-chan."

Shizuo groaned pulling away and pushed Izaya back down into the couch with his face. There lips fought each other for a bit before Izaya pulled Shizuos bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a gentle lick. Shizuo ran his hand to the bottom of Izayas shirt and invaded it. His hands ran up his sides making Izayas body arch to the touch. Shizuos hand gently brushed the stitches but it only brought more pleasure to Izaya. At this point Izaya found himself hoping that these wounds would never heal and Shizuo would always be a part of him. Izaya gasped slightly when Shizuo tongue invaded his mouth. 

The movie was long forgotten. Neither one of them heard the screams of terror for they were lost in each other. Shizuos hands ended up gripping Izayas hips and Izaya moaned. The flea had been burning him for too long now and he was losing his grip. 

Shziuo pulled his face away slightly and growled gently "Izaya I don't know how much longer I can control myself."

Izaya felt a shudder run through his spine at the thought of Shizuo losing it. He then noticed the TV screen was blue. "Well I guess it's a good thing the movie has ended huh?"

Shizuo turned to look at the screen and then back to Izaya. Izaya felt his heart leap at the new look in his eyes. "I can always replay it if you want."

Izaya swallowed hard and shook his head. "No I think we should get started on dinner."

Shizuo looked a tad dejected but nodded slowly. Before he moved himself off of Izaya he leaned back over and growled harshly into his ear. "Fine but this isn't finished."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for sticking around and your wonderful comments. I absolutely love you guys!


	8. The Spaghetti Massacre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I have envisioned since the beginning! I had no idea how I was going to get from an almost dead Izaya to this but I did and I it's perfect! ENJOY!

Izaya felt the shudder again at Shizuos hot breath against his ear. Shizuo pulled away and got up. He didn't wait, just headed straight into the kitchen. Izaya got up and followed after he caught his breath. Who the hell was this man now and where did Shizuo go?

Shizuo stood in the kitchen waiting patiently for Izaya to tell him what to do. 

"Ok well take these" he hands Shizuo some tomatoes "And mash them up really good into a small pot"

Shizuo looks at the tomatoes with an excited grin "Oh I can do that."

Izaya fishes out a large pot and fills it with water. He places it on the stove turning it on to get the water to boil. He adds in a box of noodles and a pinch of salt. He turns to check on the tomatoes and lets out a laugh. Shizuo had them smashed to a pulp and his hands where covered in it. 

"That looks great. You really are good at smashing things." he grinned. 

Shizuo gave him an irritated look "Yeah"

Izaya shook his head "Oh please. If I didn't tease you a little you would be worried something was wrong." he shook some seasoning into the pot. "We will add garlic, oregano and basil in here for taste. Now lets get it heated up over here. This is pretty basic so even you should be able to do this on your own." 

Shizuo growled "Oi watch it."

Izaya didn't bother looking at him as he took the pot to the stove. He just laughed as he began to heat up the sauce. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water and added some to the mix. Shizuo handed him a spoon and watched as Izaya slightly stirred it. After a few minutes he turned it off and moved it to a back burner to let it sit. He put a lid on it to keep it warm. 

"What about the noodles?" Shizuo asked.

"Well to see if they are done I'll show you a fun trick!" Izaya winked at him. He reached over and used a spoon to fish out a noodle. He then threw it past Shizuo at the wall. 

"What the hell!?" Shizuo yelled at him. 

Izaya walked over to the wall expecting Shizuo to follow so he could explain that when a noodle sticks that means they are done. This was stuck really well. "You see Shiz-" When he turned around to explain a wad of warm noodles hit him in the face. He just stood there starring at Shizuo while they slowly slid off.

Looking down at the floor and back up at Shizuo who seemed to be stifling a laugh he took a deep breath. "Shizu-chan… why did you just throw a wad of noodles at me?"

While Izaya had moved to check the noodle Shizuo had dumped the rest of them in the sink not even using a strainer. Now Shizuo couldn't even answer. He was busy fully laughing now at the angry look on Izayas face. He hunched over gripping his sides and tried to speak "you. You threw one at me f-f-f first! Damn it!" his laughter was stopped as Izaya shoved some noodles in his face.

Shizuo grabbed his hand and glared at him. He spit out some of the noodles on the floor and growled "Hey what the hell. You started this!"

Izaya was seething at his stupidity "You idiot! I was throwing it past you at the wall!" He moved to grab the sauce from the stove. 

"Don't call me an idiot!" Shizuo turned to grab more noodles but when he swung his arm up he accidentally hooked Izayas arm the with the sauce and flung it up. He froze with wide eyes at what seemed to happen in slow motion, the sauce pot flew up and went all over the front of Izaya. No one said a word as the pot and lid clattered to the ground in a red velvet mess. 

Shizuo dropped the noodles he was holding and turned to grab a towel "Sorry Fle-"

"You Protozan!" Izaya flung himself at Shizuo knocking him into the counter and started to hit him with his fists. 

"You shitty Flea it was an accident!" Shizuo tried to grab Izayas wrists and push him off but his foot slipped on the noodles he had just dropped and they both went crashing to the floor in a mess of the red sauce. 

Izaya laid panting on Shizuos chest. He pushed himself up to yell at Shizuo but before he could say anything Shizuo licked his face. "Tastes pretty good actually" 

Izayas face went red not just from the sauce. "You are a damn idiot." he tried to get up slipping himself and fell into Shizuos face. 

Shizuo smiled and went to lick more sauce from Izayas face. "Seriously. Mixed with flea it tastes pretty fucking great."

Izayas anger burned into his face and he tried to get up again "Damn it all of it is ruined!"

"Hey you got some here too." Shizuo was ignoring the fuming Izaya and sat up. He leaned on Izaya running his tongue across his throat, pressing him into the lower cabinet on the other side of the kitchen. Izaya felt his throat vibrate from Shizuo words "Some here too." he let his tongue continue to drag down and beneath Izayas shirt collar. 

"nnnnng stop Shizu-chan" Izaya began to protest. 

Shizuo wasn't in the mood for listening to the small whining coming from Izaya. He grabbed the back of Izayas head and pulled him in kissing him hard. Izayas breath stopped as he tasted more sauce from Shizuos lips. Shizuo pulled away and smiled a very seductive smile at Izaya. 

"Shizu-chan…?" he tried to stop Shizuo with words but realized too late that was going to get nowhere. 

Shizuo kissed Izayas chest over the shirt and traveled down, down and further down. Izayas legs sprawled out and his head fell back with a groan. Shizuo got to the bottom of the shirt and lifted it up letting his mouth follow his hands and he guided the shirt up revealing Izayas chest. Izaya felt like it was getting too hot in the apartment and tried to say something but his mouth was muffled as Shizuo pulled the shirt over his face tossing it to the side with a wet plop.

"Might have some sauce here too." Shizuo whispered into Izayas chest. He pushed Izaya down onto the floor and worked a knee between the others legs. "We sure did make a mess here." he began to slowly kiss Izayas stomach and let his lips work over to his side and down to his hip where he bit. Izayas hips jerk up and he groaned. 

Izaya could feel the cooling sauce on his bare back. He looked down to see Shizuos blood hair as he continued towards Izayas chest. "Fuck Shizuo stop" He reached down to pull Shizuo away and Shizuo sat up grabbing Izayas wrists and forcing them to his side. His hands slid outward from the sauce with Shizuo never letting up his grip. "Shizuo-"

"Why are you calling me that now I-ZAY-A?" he gave a devils grin and leaned back down to bite Izayas ear who only moaned in response. He then whispered harshly into it "You destroy my kitchen, ruin my clothes and then dare call me that name?" He bit down again tugging gently on his ear.

"But that is your name Shi-" Shizuo smashed his lips back into Izayas. Izaya tried to squirm only managing to get his head free. There was no escape from this beast. Shizuo still had a firm grip on his wrists. "What about dinner?"

Shizuo pushed to hover over Izaya letting that devils grin chill Izaya to the bone. He slid their hands up just a little above Izayas head. "I think I have an appetite for something else now." He leaned back down and ran his tongue from Izayas throat, to the middle of Izayas chest and over to one of his nipples. Izaya threw his head back to the floor. 

"Shit!" Izaya cried out. He arched upwards wincing as his crotch was greeted with Shizuos knee. He was completely trapped. "Fuck Shizu-chan let-let me up" Shizuo just shook his head no and pressed his knee harder into Izaya. He gently tugged Izayas nipple with his teeth causing Izaya to throw his head back with another moan. Shizuo seemed very pleased and worked his way over to the other side. 

"Izaya I told you earlier that I wasn't finished." he gently growled into his skin.

"Yes but now? You hate me remember or something?" he cried out. 

Shizuo kissed his way back up to Izayas face. "Something." he let Izayas arms free and began to kiss him again. Moving one hand up and under Izayas head to grip his hair wet hair. He moved his knee away letting his other hand take it's place. "Something" he said again against Izayas lips as he squeezed Izayas crotch gently.

Izaya took this moment and bit Shizuos lip, harder than before, causing Shizuo to jolt back and put his hand to his mouth. Izaya then attempted to roll away but with all of the sauce on the ground he couldn't find traction and just slide to the side a little bit. He decided that if he couldn't escape his captor he was going to at least fight back for some control. 

"Damn it Izaya I think you drew blood!" Shizuo growled. 

Izaya kicked up with a leg causing Shizuo to slip and fall on his back with an OOMPF! Sauce splattered on the cabinets and Izaya jumped on top to straddle him. He leaned down and whispered into Shizuos ear "Why do you get to be the dominate one?" 

Shizuo laid there surprised for just a second. He then let his hands fall to his side and gave a threatening smile. "Isn't this my home?"

Izaya smiled back and reached into his back pocket pulling out his blade. He flicked it open never taking his eyes off of Shizuo beneath him. He leaned forward pressing the blade to Shizuos throat. "Careful Shizu-chan. Then moment you feel like you can control me is the moment you die."

Shizuo growled back something that didn't seem like words and grabbed Izayas hips. He sat up slightly, not moving Izaya off. He pressed his feet into the cabinet on the other side to push his back to the ones behind him. He ignored the blade that threatened to pierce his skin and ran his hands up Izayas side the sauce causing is hands to glide effortlessly. He pulled Izaya to him enough to reach and kissed his neck, licking a little more sauce off.

Izaya slowly let the blade glide down off Shizuos throat and titled his head moaning softly to give Shizuo better access. Shizuo smiled against his neck, reaching down and grabbing the hand holding the knife. He drug it up to his face and kissed each one of Izayas knuckles, sucking off some sauce here and there. The knife clattered to the floor.

Shizuo looked into Izayas rusted eyes that were almost rolling back. "Careful Flea, once you think you have the upper hand the beast will strike."

Izaya drew his hands to the hem of Shizuos shirt and began to work it off. They broke apart to let Izaya pull Shizuos shirt over his head. He threw it to the side where his shirt was. He pushed on Shizuos chest to knock him back down kissing him from his neck to his chest on the fall. They slid once again to the floor.

Once Shizuo was on the ground under him he decided to try and use Shizuos moves against him. He forced his knee between Shizuos legs and rubbed it roughly against the erection that had taken complete form. Shizuo moaned letting his head fall back as Izaya trailed bites from his chest to his side where he took a bite. 

"Fuck!" Shizuo groaned. 

Izaya grinned wickedly and took it further. He ran his tongue just barley beneath the lining of Shizuos pants. He ran his tongue dangerously slow from one end to the other. When he looked back up Shizuo was looking at the ceiling wide eyed and biting his own lip. Smiling with satisfaction he went back up and whispered seductively into Shizuos ear "Now now Shizu-chan. Let me hear some more of the monstrous sounds you like to make."

Shizuo rolled his head up to meet Izayas gaze and rushed his face up to kiss him but Izaya pulled away at the last moment. Shizuo fell back looked confused by the action. Izaya however looked very pleased. "Careful Shizu-chan. You might overdose."

Shizuo growled "Dammit that’s it!" Shizuo let his hands glide up Izayas back sitting all the way up. He ran kisses up his chest to his neck. Izaya held onto Shizuos neck with one arm reaching back down with the other to grip Shizuos thigh. He rolled his head back moaning. Shizuo grasped his belt buckle. His hands were too slippery to remove it properly so he settled for ripping it.

"Oh you'll pay for that" Izaya spoke down to Shizuo. 

Shizuo looked up at him with a smile "Yeah?" he started to undo Izayas pants and shoved his hand in them below the underwear. He grasped Izayas cock firmly and gave it a single stroke. Izaya thrust slightly into the touch. 

"Damn it Shizu-chan" he went to move down to pay Shizuo back while dragging his tongue down his chest but slipped and fell on his side. Shizuo grinned and rolled facing him. He clashed their lips together and forced Izayas mouth open. He didn't argue, instead took it in hungrily while working his own hands down to Shizuos middle.

Shizuo moved his hands down and hooked his thumbs into Izayas belt loops and started to work his jeans down. They were both sliding in the floor lost completely in their own ecstasy. Never breaking their lips apart Izaya glided his hands down Shizuo and began to tug off his pants. 

Izaya pulled back his tongue and his face slightly to grin into Shizuos eyes. They were slightly glazed over and hungry. Never looking away he reached his hand down again to grasp Shizuo and watched his expression. Shizuo let out the lowest groan he had ever heard and felt him thrust into his hand. Leaning back into him he dug his tongue back into his mouth moaning into it "That’s the sound I want to hear."

Shizuo just kept moaning and thrusting into Izayas hand. Izaya wasn't even paying attention to wear Shizuos hands were. It wasn't until he felt him grab onto his own cock that he groaned Shizuos name into his mouth. 

This time Shizuo pulled back. He grinned like the damn devil and started slowly stroking Izaya. He looked down at their middles and back up. "Let me fucking hear it flea." Izaya let out a loud groan. Shizuo forced them back into the kiss and they both began stroking the other. 

Izaya pulled away and started to slide himself down forcing Shizuo to let go. He ran kisses down Shizuos throat, chest, stomach and finally made his way down to his cock. He looked up to meet Shizuos gaze and licked his lips cause Shizuo to let out a small gasp. Izaya slowly ran his tongue from the base to the tip and rejoiced in the way Shizuo moaned.

He pushed Shizuo over onto his back and scooted between his legs for easier access. He went to take Shziuo fully into his mouth and let out a deep groan of his own. Shizuo was very well endowed and Izaya almost thought he would choke but he couldn't stop himself. Suddenly he felt Shizuos hands in his hair and that just added to the moment. He began to bob his head up and down slowly at first. 

"Damn it Izaya, Shit" Shizuo groaned louder. 

Every now and then Izaya would trace his tongue over the head of his cock and each time Shziuo would give a little jerk. Izaya got faster and faster. He dug a hand into Shizuos thigh. Shizuos hands gripped tighter into his hair.

"If you keep that shit up I'm gonna fucking cum!" Shizuo threw his head against the floor.

Izaya popped off of him licking his lips. He pulled himself back over Shizuo and bent down to kiss him. "Fucking cum then." and with that he began to stroke his cock harder with his hand pumping faster and faster. He groaned himself when he felt Shizuo grabbed him in return and they were stroking together in the same rhythm. 

Suddenly Shizuo called out "Shit Izaya!" He head slammed back into the floor and he came all over his stomach. Shizuo laid there twitching for a second and Izaya smiled with satisfaction. He started to stand up but Shizuo pulled him back down and flipped him over one his back. "Where the FUCK do you think you're going?"

He didn't wait for Izaya to answer. He moved quick and scooted down to take Izaya into his own mouth. "Fuck" Izaya called out. Shizuos monstrous strength had no limits to where it could be found. He sucked on his cock hard and slow. Izaya felt like he was going to die from the pure pleasure of it. He reached down and grabbed Shizuos hair and started fucking his mouth keeping up with Shizuos painfully slow rhythm. 

They started to go faster and faster and Izaya called out "Shizuo, wait Shizuo!" he tried to pull on Shizuos hair but Shizuo wouldn't move. He kept going faster and faster until Izaya jerked his hips hard into his mouth as he came harder than he ever had before. "Shizuo!" he cried out. 

Shizuo swallowed him up and slowly pulled off. He grinned up at Izaya who was lost for words. "Is that good pay back?"

Shizuo started to stand while stepping out of his pants. He pulled his boxer up and then reached a hand down to help Izaya up. Izaya slipped a little but eventually managed to steady himself. Shizuo bent down to help Izaya pull on his pants. When he got them up to his hips he went to fasten them but Izaya stopped him. 

"No no. I need to go take a shower. I'm a little bit of a mess." he grinned down at Shizuo.

Shizuo stood up and nodded. "Yeah we did make a little bit of a mess didn't we."

"No thanks to you Shizu-chan" he said as he started towards the bathroom. 

Shizuo grabbed his hand and pulled him backwards into his bare chest. "Why is it my fault? You're the one who threw that noodle at me" he kisses Izayas shoulder to his neck.

Izaya leaned his head back on Shizuos shoulder smiling "Hey now, you grabbed my noodle first."

Shizuo laughed into the crook of his neck "You’re a fucking idiot."

Izaya smiled at him and turned around wrapping his hands around his neck. "Yeah but I think I'm your idiot now."

Shizuo looked into his eyes and smiled giving him a gentle kiss. "Yeah, I guess I'm stuck with you huh?"

Izaya stretched up to kiss his cheek "Yep, weather you like it or not I don't plan to go anywhere anytime soon." Izaya turned to leave but Shizuo stopped him again. 

"What makes you think I would let you go?" Shizuo smirked at him.

Izaya cocked his head to the side "Well it would be hard with that monstrous strength of yours. Once my injuries are completely healed don't think Ill go easy on you." 

Shizuo pulled him into another embrace. "Hey flea?"

"hmm?" Izaya snuggled into his chest.

Shizuo kissed the top of his head and then titled his chin up to gaze into his eyes. "I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter I post will be an optional read. But if you want to read the smutty goodness then that's where you will find it. I will warn you I had to get up and leave the PC a few times in the middle of it to take a break because it was so, just, gaaaaaahhhh! I hope you like them and if you don't want to read that then thank you for reading up to this point!


	9. Shizuo Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as the title says. This is Shizuo top and it is beautiful.

Shizuo gazed down into Izayas speechless eyes. "Shizu-chan? What did you just say?"

Shziuo grinned and repeated himself "I said I love you Izaya". He leaned down to kiss Izaya again. When he pulled away Izaya wrapped his arms completely around him and hugged him tight. He wrapped his arms around him in return "You ok flea?"

He looked back up smiling "Yes, I just… this feeling is just something new to me."

"love?" Shizuo smiled down at him.

Izaya shook his head "No. Not wanting to kill you."

Shizuo gently head butted him and let their foreheads rest together. "Keep it up Flea."

Izaya glared up at him "I swear Shizu-chan if you try to tickle me I will fucking end you."

Shizuo was laughing inside but kept a stone face as he glared at Izaya "Who said anything about tickling you?"

Izaya eyed him suspiciously "Then wha-" he was cut off.

Shizuo lifted him up buy his hips while holding onto his bottom with one hand. He grinned at Izayas surprise. Izaya wrapped his legs around him and he started to carry him to the bathroom. "You wanted to shower right?"

Izaya looked at him with surprise turned glee "Oh I see" 

Shizuo kicked the bathroom door open with his foot and sat Izaya on the sink. He turned around and started the shower. Coming back to Izaya he started to tug off his jeans. He pulled them off slow and steady taking the informants underwear with them. He looked up at Izaya who was watching him with a steamy gaze.

Once he dropped Izayas jeans and all to the floor he pulled off his underwear. He then pressed himself up between Izayas legs and kissed him hard and deep. He felt Izayas erection dig into his waist and his hands dig into his back. He lifted Izaya up again and shoved him into the shower. Izaya hissed between the kisses as the water rained down on them. 

"You ready for round two flea?" He smirked at him.

Izaya smirked back and leaned his head against the shower wall. "Only if you think you can handle me."

Shizuo smirked and kissed his neck "Yeah right. The only thing I'm worried about is breaking your little body"

"Fuck off" Izaya grumbled.

"Oh I'm gonna fuck something." Shizuo pulled back and Izaya looked just a little frightened. 

"What a filthy mouth you have there Shizu-chan. I better shut you up" Izaya forced Shizuo into more kissing.

Shizuo dropped Izayas legs down and turned him around forcing him up against the shower wall. He raked his nails down Izayas back, over his ass and to the inside of his thighs. On his way back up he let his tongue glide up his spine as he stood up over Izaya, reaching between his legs to gently begin to stroke him. 

Izaya threw his wet head back against Shizuo "Fuck.. Oh fuck…"

Shizuo grinned "Who has a filthy mouth now?"

Izaya was panting now "Shut. The. Hell. Up." 

Shizuo used his other hand and grazed it up Izayas thigh never breaking the stroke. He leaned forward and nipped Izayas ear while letting his first finger graze over Izayas entrance. "I really wanna hear you moan a little more Flea."

Izaya groaned from the touch, heat and breath on his ear.

Shizuo smirked and gently inserted his finger. "C'mon Flea. Let me hear you." He thrust his finger deeper and deeper matching to the strokes. 

"Fucking shit!" Izaya threw his head back against Shizuo shoulder as Shziuo inserted a second finger working them in and out with the stroking of his cock. "Shizuo… I can't handle it…" Shizuo spread his fingers apart to stretch him a little and grazed his prostate. "SHIT SHIZUO!" he continued this rhythm for a bit relishing in the helpless voice of Izaya. 

After he was satisfied he spun him back around pushing Izaya down. Izaya went with ease and immediately wrapped his mouth around Shizuo grabbing his backside. Shizuo leaned his head back in the spray moaning and he rocked his hips into Izayas mouth. He grabbed Izayas air and pulled him back up.

Izaya was panting but Shizuo wasn't going to let him catch a break. He grabbed each of Izayas legs and hoisted him up wrapping his legs around his waist. He leaned his head into Izaya shoulder smiling. The warm water racing down his back. "Izaya…"

Izaya was still panting but managed to speak between pants "Yeah?"

"You sure you can handle this?" he asked.

Izaya grabbed his hair and forced him back. "Shizu-chan. If you don't fuck me right now YOU won't be able to handle ME."

Shizuo laughed. He grabbed his member and traced it over Izaya entrance. "Last chance to run flea."

"Shizu-chan if wanted to run I would ha-"

Shizuo thrust himself in. Not to rough but enough that Izaya slammed his head into the wall grabbing Shizuo wet shoulders and shouting "Oh fuck!"

Shizuo groaned as he worked himself deeper. He leaned his head back to look at Izaya who had his eyes closed and was biting his lip. It was like the moment when he had him pinned to his bed. He smiled slightly and leaned forward. He took Izayas lip with his teeth and gazed into his eyes. They shot open and gazed back into his. There was only one expression that he could see here. It wasn't pain, hurt, anger or confusion. This was love and he knew he was returning that same gaze when Izaya smiled at him.

Shizuo looked down at their middles, pulled back and thrust back into him. Izaya wrapped his arms around his neck as Shizuo did this a few more times. He was fully in now. He looked down at himself inside of the other and slowly let his gaze travel back up to his face. Izaya was fucking hot like this and Shizuo couldn't hold it in anymore. He snuck his hand back behind Izayas head and gripped his hair fucking him harder.

Izaya kept calling out his name "Shizuo. Fuck I can't hold on much longer!"

Shizuo didn't slow the pace as he growled back "Yeah well me neither so if you're gonna cum them just fucking cum!"

Shizuo could feel it building up, higher and higher. He took one more look at Izayas face that was full of pure bliss and he released. "Fuck Izaya!" He slammed into him one last time throwing his hands on the shower wall infront of him. 

"Fuck!" Izaya called out and Shizuo felt warmth spreading over his stomach. 

He rested his fore head on Izayas shoulder and pulled out. He helped Izayas legs fall down and they both stood there under the shower. Izaya pressed their bodies together and nuzzled into Shizuo chest still panting. "Told you. I could handle it. Shizu-chan."

Shizuo chuckled "Yeah ok. Lets wash up now"

Shizuo reach around and grabbed the shampoo. He squirted some in his hand and rubbed it into Izayas hair. He let Izaya rotate himself away from the spray and he began to massage it in. 

"mmmmmm I still can't figure out why you are so good with your hands Shizu-chan." Izaya leaned into Shizuos touch. 

They switched spots and Izaya rinsed off. Izaya grabbed a bar of soap and started to run it over Shizuos back in large lazy circled. "That feels pretty great flea." he began to shampoo his own hair during this process.

"I think I owe you a back massage Shizu-chan"

They rotated again so Shizuo could rinse while Izaya washed his own body. "Why do you say that?"

Izaya turned to him "Because you said my little hands couldn't do shit or something like that."

Shizuo snorted "Yeah I do recall saying something similar."

They rotated for the final time to let Izaya rinse off and then he turned off the shower. "Well Shizu-chan. Let's go."

Shziuo dried himself off and threw the towel over Izayas head. He scrubbed his hair dry and pulled it away to reveal and angry flea. He couldn't help but laugh "Don't make that face at me!"

"It's not funny. I can dry myself off you know!?" he griped at him and wrapped the towel around his waist. He stormed out shutting the door behind him.

"Crazy son of a bitch." Shizuo laughed to himself. He grabbed another towel, wrapped it around his waste and followed Izaya to the room. 

When he got in the room Izaya was standing by the bed with the lotion in his hand waiting. "Ok now lay down, give me your towel first."

Shizuo stepped back "Why do I need to give you my towel?"

"Really? Did we not just fuck in the shower?" Izaya rolled his eyes.

"Fine" Shizuo threw the towel at him and got on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated putting Izaya top in here as well but I decided to make them into two separate chapters. Sorry I know it is a little short but this will give me time to work on my next story.


	10. Izaya top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. I made this one a little violent because that is how I felt Izaya would be in this situation. This is also the last chapter! I can't believe it! Enjoy it please and if you don't enjoy it that is ok too!

Shizuo laid on the bed on his stomach. Izaya handed him a pillow to use for his head and he draped the towel over his lower half. He straddled over Shizuo with his own towel still wrapped around him. He squirted some of the lotion in his hands and rubbed them together.

"OK Shizu-chan, prepare yourself." he said gleefully.

Shizuo sounded a little annoyed "Just get on with it!"

"Hmmpf! You won't be saying that for long I can assure you that." he grinned. 

He laid each hand on Shizuos shoulders and started to work the muscles. He felt Shizuo tense up at first and after a few seconds it felt as if he was melting beneath his hands. He used his thumbs to dig in and work out the kinks here. Shizuo let out a low groan and let his hands work down his back.

Shizuos muscles were so strong it was still incredible even after Izaya had touched them several times already. "I don't think I could ever get enough of this…" he spoke out loud but to himself.

"huh?" Shizuo tried to roll his head over.

"Nothing. Stay still" Izaya forced his head back into place. 

He guided his hands back from Shizuos lower back to the center of his spine. He worked his thumbs in firm but gentle circles all the way up his spine. Shizuos skin was so smooth and now Izaya could feel his erection coming back again. He leaned forward and kissed the back of Shizuos neck.

"Hey…" Shizuo groaned out.

"Sorry Shizu-chan. I just can't help myself…" he scooted back a little to sit on the back of Shizuo thighs. He continues to work his hands on Shizuos back.

"Ok flea. I have to admit that feels pretty great…" Shizuo mumbled out.

Izaya barely heard him. His hands were splayed across Shizuos upper back and here is where he began to lose control. His let his nails glide back down and could feel Shizuo shift under him. He let out a soft groan. He gently began to pull the towel away from Shizuo.

"Flea what the hell." Shizuo tried to turn over but Izaya laid himself over him and hushed him.

"Shhhhhhhh Shizu-chan. Just relax." he reached a hand over the side of the mattress. Shizuos warm back against his stomach and chest were driving him wild. He ran his tongue up Shizuo neck. 

"Hey come on. You better stop that shit." Shizuo growled. "Hey what the fuck are you doi- SHIT!" he growled out louder.

Izaya had yanked his head back by his hair hard and had his blade pressed to his throat. He leaned his head over and bit Shizuos shoulder letting out a soft moan. When he pulled away he could feel Shizuo breathing harder. He ran his blade slowly from his throat to the side of his neck. He didn't press hard enough to break the skin but to Shizuo it felt dangerously close.

"Flea…calm down…" Shizuo growled softly.

Izaya leaned his head pulling harder on Shizuos hair to whisper in his ear. "Oh no no Shizu-chan. It is my turn." Not moving his full body off he let go of Shizuos hair. He reached down and slid his fingers beneath the towel over Shizuo. He let his finger trace over Shizuos entrance all while giving Shizuos neck another long lazy lick. 

Shizuo began moaning "Izaya…." his breathing was getting harsher.

Izaya gave a wicked grin and glided his knife over Shizuos shoulder and slowly down his side. He then ran the blade up Shizuos back and dug it in a little harder to pierce the skin. At the same moment he inserted his finger causing Shizuo to cry out "Fuck Izaya!"

"mmmmmmmmm yes Shizu-chan" he licked his lips and he let his finger swirl around inside him a bit. He never let the blade come away from his skin. "Tell me how it feels."

Shizuo writhed slightly under him "It- it feels good." he tried to get the words out.

"Yes, now let me hear you this time wont you?" Izaya cooed at him. He leaned in close and growled into Shizuos ear. "Fucking say it Shizuo." He bit Shizuos ear, hard, as he inserted a second finger.

"IT FEELS GOOD!" Shizuo cried out.

Izaya smirked and worked his fingers in and out spreading them wide. He leaned back a bit to run his blade back down Shizuos side and dug in slightly. With each little nick Izaya gave him with the blade he brushed his prostate causing Shizuo to cry out with pleasure. Izaya leaned over again licking a few of the spots where he had cut Shizuo. His own erection digging hard into him.

"Izaya…please…." Shizuo began to whimper a little.

"Is there something that you want from me?" Izaya cooed at him. He kissed a few spots on his back and whispered against his skin "Tell me what you want Shizu-chan" He pulled back and continued to pump his fingers in and out of Shizuo slow and steady. He began to dig erection into the back of his thigh.

"Izaya…I…shit!" He cried out as Izaya hit his prostate again. "I want you!"

Izaya was enjoying himself too much. He nicked Shizuo again on his back and hit his prostate again "You want me?" He leaned and bit Shizuos ear tugging it gently. He whispered menacingly into his ear "You want me to fuck you?"

Shizuo groaned out louder "Yes dammit! I want you fuck me!"

Izaya grinned and pulled out his fingers. He set his blade down beside them and removed both towels. He grabbed his cock and placed it by Shizuos entrance. He leaned back over and this time he growled into Shizuos ear. "Beg me for it."

Shizuo barley spoke as Izaya rubbed the tip of his cock around Shizuo entrance. "…please…Izaya….please…." he was panting so hard and Izaya was loving it. "Izaya…Please…FUCK!" 

Izaya pressed himself inside Shizuo. "Fuck Shizuo!" he cried out as Shizuo swallowed him. Izaya worked his way inside and they were both panting. Shizuo more than him. He pulled out half way and grabbed Shizuos shoulders. He slammed himself back in and Shizuo cried out with pleasure. 

"Fuck Izaya!" Shizuo called out.

"What do you think I am doing Shizu-chan?" he chuckled out loud.

"Shut the hell up FLEA" Shziuo cried out as Izaya slammed into him again.

Izaya dug his hands under Shizuo and lifted his hips up. He then reached around to his front. Izaya grasped Shizuos nipples between his fingers hard and continued with his deep thrusting. He rolled the nubs between his fingers cause Shizuo to cry out louder. 

He bit Shizuos back and paused his thrusting as he trailed his mouth half way down his spine. He grabbed Shizuos hip with one hand digging in hard. He reached around with the other and grasped Shizuos cock in his hand.

"Dammit Izaya! I can't. I can't!" Shizuo cried out as Izaya began to slowly stroke him. 

"You feel amazing Shizu-chan" Izaya groaned out as he stroked and pumped his own cock in and out.

"I'm.. I'm… I'm gonna fucking cum!" Shizuo shouted.

Izaya was also reaching his climax. "Fucking cum for me Shizuo!" he shouted out.

"FUCK IZAYA FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Shizuo screamed out as he came all over the sheets.

Izaya gave a few more slams into him before his entire body was racked with pure bliss. "SHIZUO!" his whole body shook like thunder as his orgasm crashed over him. It was so intense he collapsed onto Shizuo who crashed onto the bed with him. 

They laid there for a moment before Shizuo rolled him off. "Son of a bitch Izaya…" he groaned.

Izaya rolled on his back smiling "I told you I can give good massages."

Shizuo looked over at him with humor dancing in his gaze "Yeah I guess you do." He glanced over at Izayas knife on the ground "You are fucking crazy too."

Izaya glanced at him "Oh? If you didn't like it I won't do it again"

"I didn't say that! I…" he lost his words when I seen Izaya gleaming. "Fuck, even if I said I didn't like it you would do it anyway. Since when do you listen to me?"

"Bingo" Izaya winked at him.

Shizuo rolled over and kissed him. Izaya looked up into his eyes. Shizuo had the softest expression, he swore he could never grow tired of those eyes. He placed a hand on his cheek and Shziuo grasped his hand. 

"Shizu-chan. I love you." he murmured.

Shizuo rested their fore heads together "I love you too Flea."

Izaya scooted over and wrapped Shizuos arm around himself "I'm tired."

Shizuo scooted up into him throwing the sheet off of the bed. He nuzzled his face against Izayas back "Me too"

Izaya had never felt so happy in his entire life. He felt Shizuo breathing into his back and his heart felt like it was on fire. This feeling, was something he had never known and he would never ever let it go. 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so wow. I can't believe that story came out of me and how much fun I had writing it! I definitely don't plan to make it my last one. In fact I have another one that I have finished. I wanted to try and stretch my creativity out with something a little more challenging to see what else I could come up with. Confused emotions was my very FIRST fanfiction and i'd like to see what else I have in me. The next story is a little shorter (Who am I kidding it is much shorter) but it is and X-reader (is that what you call it?). It is ShizuoXreader. I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with those so I made it up with an so that if you wanted to replace that name with yours you could or just read it like any other story. I will start posting this one next week.
> 
> I would like to thank my coworker for reading this and giving me feed back and encouragement to keep going. With out her I don't think I would have had to courge to keep posting so you should thank her too ;D  
> I would like to thank my sister in law as well for reading it and calling me to scream about how much she loved it.  
> I would like to thank all of you wonderful people who left me kudos and everyone who commented. You guys are awesome and made me blush more times than I could count. Everytime I thought I was stuck and it was garbage you pulled me through it! I love you guys!
> 
> Once again just a big thank you to everyone! There is so much more I feel like I want to say but I can't put that into words!


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